Own the Day, Own Your Life – Aubrey Marcus (#302)

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“Welcome to heaven. Population: everyone.” 
– Aubrey Marcus

Aubrey Marcus (IG: @aubreymarcus) is the founder and CEO of Onnit, a lifestyle brand based on a holistic health philosophy he calls Total Human Optimization. Onnit is an Inc. 500 company and an industry leader with products touching millions of lives, including many top professional athletes around the world.

Aubrey currently hosts The Aubrey Marcus Podcast, a motivational destination for conversations with the brightest minds in athletics, business, science, relationships and spirituality with over 10 million downloads on iTunes. Aubrey regularly provides commentary to outlets like Entrepreneur, Forbes, The Doctors, and The Joe Rogan Experience.

He has been featured on the cover of Men’s Health, and his newest (and first!) book is Own The Day, Own Your Life from HarperCollins. Enjoy!

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Want to hear another episode about spirituality, happiness, and mindfulness? — Listen to this episode with Sharon Salzberg (stream below or right-click here to download):



This episode is brought to you by Peloton, which has become a staple of my daily routine. I picked up this bike after seeing the success of my friend Kevin Rose, and I’ve been enjoying it more than I ever imagined. Peloton is an indoor cycling bike that brings live studio classes right to your home. No worrying about fitting classes into your busy schedule or making it to a studio with a crazy commute.

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Peloton is offering listeners to this show a special offer. Visit onepeloton.com and enter the code TIM at checkout to receive $100 off accessories with your Peloton bike purchase. This is a great way to get in your workouts or an incredible gift. Again, that’s onepeloton.com and enter the code TIM.

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QUESTION(S) OF THE DAY: What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know in the comments.

Scroll below for links and show notes…

Selected Links from the Episode

  • Connect with Aubrey Marcus:

Website | Podcast | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook

Show Notes

  • Is Austin past its prime or just getting better? [06:57]
  • When was the last time Aubrey cried tears of joy? [09:02]
  • How did a vision quest help Aubrey shift gears and stop being miserable? [12:09]
  • If Aubrey someday has kids, would he encourage a similar rite of passage for them? [17:19]
  • Which element does Aubrey feel contributed most heavily to his vision quest experience: psychedelics, ceremony, or guidance? [18:41]
  • When he was younger, what did Aubrey want to be when he grew up? [20:38]
  • What projects did Aubrey try that didn’t quite work out? [21:25]
  • What is Onnit, and what about it is Aubrey most proud of? [23:10]
  • How many people does Onnit now employ, and how much has the company grown since it started in 2010? [24:39]
  • Aubrey talks about the complicated relationship with his father and how it affected his relationships with others. [26:53]
  • Learning what causes our own trauma allows us to help others overcome theirs. [34:24]
  • When was the first time Aubrey felt successful? [37:13]
  • How did Aubrey become business partners with Joe Rogan? [40:46]
  • Influential books. [47:55]
  • Aubrey’s guidelines for exploring open relationships. [52:40]
  • Failures that set the stage for later success. [54:20]
  • What’s Aubrey’s pattern interrupt for anger management? [56:40]
  • What would Aubrey’s billboard say? [1:01:27]
  • Tools for a more fulfilling life. [1:02:44]
  • The music Aubrey uses for ecstatic dance. [1:07:10]
  • On getting comfortable with discomfort. [1:13:05]
  • Aubrey gives us a preview of what we can expect from his book Own the Day, Own Your Life. [1:13:59]
  • What advice would Aubrey give his younger self? [1:18:08]
  • Parting thoughts and a term of cannibal affection. [1:21:00]

People Mentioned

Posted on: March 12, 2018.

Please check out Tribe of Mentors, my newest book, which shares short, tactical life advice from 100+ world-class performers. Many of the world's most famous entrepreneurs, athletes, investors, poker players, and artists are part of the book. The tips and strategies in Tribe of Mentors have already changed my life, and I hope the same for you. Click here for a sample chapter and full details. Roughly 90% of the guests have never appeared on my podcast.

Who was interviewed? Here's a very partial list: tech icons (founders of Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Craigslist, Pinterest, Spotify, Salesforce, Dropbox, and more), Jimmy Fallon, Arianna Huffington, Brandon Stanton (Humans of New York), Lord Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, Ayaan Hirsi Ali, Ben Stiller, Maurice Ashley (first African-American Grandmaster of chess), Brené Brown (researcher and bestselling author), Rick Rubin (legendary music producer), Temple Grandin (animal behavior expert and autism activist), Franklin Leonard (The Black List), Dara Torres (12-time Olympic medalist in swimming), David Lynch (director), Kelly Slater (surfing legend), Bozoma Saint John (Beats/Apple/Uber), Lewis Cantley (famed cancer researcher), Maria Sharapova, Chris Anderson (curator of TED), Terry Crews, Greg Norman (golf icon), Vitalik Buterin (creator of Ethereum), and nearly 100 more. Check it all out by clicking here.

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30 comments on “Own the Day, Own Your Life – Aubrey Marcus (#302)

  1. FINALLY!! Love Aubrey Marcus’ philosophy on life – cheers Tim.
    Question for you – do you concern yourself with social media engagement? i.e likes, shares etc

    Like

  2. Great! I’m a big alpha brain fan. For some weird reason, alpha brain makes me very social. Too bad it’s so expensive though. Would be great if he’d cut the price down a bit.

    Like

  3. Interesting interview…best lines: ‘raise everything at the same time’ and ‘there’s a choice where you paddle, or you don’t paddle’

    Like

  4. Tim,

    Wanted you to know I went to prison on Friday because of you! I volunteered with Defy Ventures and had a transformational experience. It started with your podcast interviewing Cat who I met. I’ve bought all your books, podcasts and follow your blog. That one interview was the most impactful podcast I have EVER heard.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Brilliant meeting of minds! Aubrey’s philosophies on life are some of the most enlightened I know. Minutes 35-37 were especially powerful. I love the idea that “when you’re grateful for something, it’s no longer trauma. You’ve healed it.” There is SO much need for this in our culture right now.

    So funny to trace so much back to the Fleshlight! Between that and Sex at Dawn (and Lindsey Stirling, LOL), now I really want to hear a conversation between Aubrey and Alice as well — I know for a fact she’d be down. 😉

    The Own the Day practices he mentioned already sound very familiar from a paleo perspective, and I can’t wait for the book to come out to see which new ones I might pick up. Looking forward to catching more Aubrey at this year’s PaleoFX, and clearly going to have to locate the Austin ecstatic dance opportunities that week!! 😀

    Like

  6. Tim this was good. From 1:02 till end it is a gem. I listened to that multiple times. Welcome to heaven was so true. Owning your day is so true we need to execute on our vision on a daily basis and rest of the life is taken care. Good one will read the book once it is out.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Tim, can you have Kelly Slater on your show. World Surf Champion a record 11 times, 5 consecutive titles in 1994–98. Youngest (at age 20) and the oldest (at age 39) to win the title.

    Stared on Baywatch in the 90s and has dated Pamela Anderson, Gisele Bündchen & Cameron Diaz

    Like

  8. Hi Tim,

    Seems like this podcast was in-person, but no video though.

    It was an ok podcast, but the structure felt a little different, especially with the order of the questions. It may be just me so I’ll look at what other people might think of it as well, it’s always possible you don’t appreciate some content right after consuming it.

    //Felix

    Like

  9. That was a really interesting one. I loved the ecstacy dance info. I had never heard of it but going to try it out. Tim, I think that was one of the few times that you might have been blushing thinking about yourself dancing.

    Like

  10. Tim has brought new trend in people by introducing Onnit
    the new generation always looks for something cool which they can easily find from Onnit

    Like

  11. 1:06:05
    Aubrey “Where is that coming from? … I can’t allow myself to move in space?”
    “By myself?!” In unison <— LOVED THIS ❤

    Like

  12. QUESTION(S) OF THE DAY: What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode?
    The quote from the title:

    “Own the day. Own your life.”

    That’s the lesson I’m learning.
    At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what exactly you accomplished, it doesn’t matter what great ideas and moonshot plans you have for tomorrow…

    All that matters – how you managed today, your thoughts, your emotions and most importantly actions.
    Were you the person you aspire to be?
    For how long? How many hours a day? Moments?
    Are you proud of your actions? Reactions? Responses to what life gave you this day?
    Did you do YOUR very best today? Did you make the HARD choices?

    The rest – doesn’t matter really. Nothing is ever guaranteed. The way you manage yourself and your days, hours, moments – that’s the only thing that is in your control, that is the only thing worth working on.

    Like

  13. Here a criticism, hopefully a constructive one. I think your joke about Aubrey having children that he might not know about and him talking to the audience asking women to let him know if he has a child he does not know was inappropriate and unnecessary. You two seem to be too smart to be joking like that. The joke is an expression of your male privilege and it is very disrespectful to the women who are listening to your conversation; who BTW might be carrying children from men that left them, because yes women do not have the privilege of having children without knowing!
    You probably think it was just a joke between men, no big deal; however, those are just reflexes of the patriarchal mindset we have all been brought up with and the one I believe even you want to stay away from! I expect more critical thinking from you and awareness when it comes to women issues will definitely help you develop further and grow you audience.

    Like

    • Thoughtful comment. The joke originally struck me as off, maybe edgy, for a reason I couldn’t quite pinpoint, however harmless. Thanks for articulating that. Tim, I’m sure you’re totally open to how the subtleties might land!

      Like

  14. Hi Tim,

    I loved the episode with Jack Kornfield. The most impactful statement was his billboard answer posing the question ‘How would you best love yourself?’. This is a question I am pondering in my morning pages and would love to know how you are mastering this. I know it’s a journey with some good and bad days but what steps are you taking to answer this for yourself?

    Warm wishes,
    Lori

    Like

  15. Hi Tim, A respectful question (I really enjoy reading and listening to you every now and again) – I don’t know all of your experiments, but I’m wondering if you’ve ever done something where for a set period of time you focus your input on reading and listening to works by a particular group that is not super close to you – say (almost) all works by women, or works originating in the Southern hemisphere or a particular continent, or works by folks under 25, or works from a different century, or works by nonbinary writers/artists. I’d be interested in how such an experiment might lead you to interesting places.

    Like

  16. I’ve been looking around at articles on open relationships, no one asks the big question. How do you know if the baby is yours in an open relationship, and if it’s not are you so full of love that it’s no big deal? Also how many open relationship babies is it no big deal?

    Like

  17. Odd that Tim lately keeps on hitting the “having kids” topic…is he maybe missing something there? (the “ultimate” experiment?)

    Might that come from that all that will be left of Tim is “dead matter” (books, recordings etc) and not “live matter” and thus his genes will be just weeded out of existence…?

    Like

  18. Kind of did the ecstasy dance tonight. I will have to do it again when I have more time and I’m not worried about my wife coming home and seeing me 🙂 Thanks for the instructions and sound track.

    Like

  19. I created an Apple Music version of the Ecstatic Dance playlist (one track, Miami Showdown, was unavailable but all others were there) and made it public. Search for “Ecstatic Dance” on Apple Music shared playlists under my name if you’re interested.

    Like

  20. Thanks so much for providing a transcript of this podcast!

    I get a lot of value from being able to find information that has been transcribed.

    Like

  21. Thank you, Tim. This was such an awesomely flowing conversation that was just hitting all the nails at every sentence, and Aubrey is such a fascinating guy with a voice to lead guided meditation, if he’d so choose to.

    And If I’d have to pick a favorite bit – the one that most resonated with me was on Ecstatic Dance at 1:07:10. If there’s a body to be moved and with the ability to move – move it, in all sorts of weird and “gay” ways! That, in my life has made a huge impact after living in Berlin for a few years.

    Thank you for the amazing content. You’ve been a huge inspiration, Tim.

    Like

  22. I laughed out loud at one point in the podcast when I pictured Aubrey in a room trying to get Jocko Willink to do an ecstacy dance.

    Like

  23. Great stuff Dude, also I can’t stress enough how awesome it would be for you to get Duncan Trussell on the show. I also get the feeling he fits decorously within the current stream of learning you seem to be swimming down lately.

    Like

  24. Dear Tim,

    In this episode you mention actively looking for your issues so that you can work through your stuff. I think you say “you gotta dig through the weeds”.

    Just to be clear, what do you mean by this? What constitutes the work of identifying these issues? Would love to hear your suggestions.

    Love your work!
    Kind Regards
    Ashley Hilton

    Like