Tim Ferriss

Tim and Uncle Jerry Tackle Life, Big Questions, Business, Parenting, and Disco Duck (#767)

Illustration via 99designs

“I get very, very angry when people misinterpret the word ‘complicit’ for ‘responsible.’ And it’s not because I want to let people off the hook but quite the opposite. I want people to understand that they’ve been an accomplice. When we get into our mindset that says, ‘I am responsible for all the shit in my life,’ we’re actually walking away from doing the hard work.”
— Jerry Colonna

Here is my brand-new conversation with Jerry Colonna, CEO and co-founder of Reboot.io, an executive coaching and leadership development firm dedicated to the notion that better humans make better leaders. He is the author of Reboot: Leadership and the Art of Growing Up and Reunion: Leadership and the Longing to Belong.

Please enjoy!

Listen to the episode on Apple PodcastsSpotifyOvercastPodcast AddictPocket CastsCastboxYouTube MusicAmazon MusicAudible, or on your favorite podcast platform.

This episode is brought to you by The League curated dating app for busy, high-performing people; Eight Sleep’s Pod 4 Ultra sleeping solution for dynamic cooling and heating; and LinkedIn Jobs recruitment platform with 1B+ users.

The transcript of this episode can be found here. Transcripts of all episodes can be found here.

#767: Tim and Uncle Jerry Tackle Life, Big Questions, Business, Parenting, and Disco Duck

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What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know in the comments.

Want to hear the last time Jerry Colonna was on the show? Listen to our conversation in which we discussed Jerry’s annual two-month sabbatical, how and why even someone on a limited budget can and should make time for their own version of such a sabbatical, successful versus unsuccessful sabbaticals, coping with crises off the grid, hot and cold boredom, and much more.

SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE

  • Connect with Jerry Colonna:

Reboot.io | Twitter | Instagram | Threads

SHOW NOTES

  • [08:40] “How have I been complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want?” and its misinterpretations.
  • [21:55] Recharging off the grid on sabbatical.
  • [24:41] Is a tired dog a happy dog?
  • [29:21] What are you hearing that’s not being said?
  • [33:14] Closing transgenerational, transpersonal, and intergenerational wounds.
  • [44:05] Focusing on the future when the past keeps pulling us back.
  • [52:18] Changes in challenges Reboot’s clients have faced over the past decade.
  • [55:34] Guilt vs. remorse and how to move from one to the other.
  • [1:01:40] Interpretations of legacy.
  • [1:13:17] Jerry’s parenting experience and advice.
  • [1:19:02] My thoughts on having children and grandchildren.
  • [1:24:54] “This Be the Verse” by Philip Larkin.
  • [1:26:08] Book recommendations and their impact on Jerry and his children.
  • [1:28:46] Novel truths.
  • [1:32:40] The importance of laughter and human connection in difficult times.
  • [1:35:45] Parting thoughts.

MORE JERRY COLONNA QUOTES FROM THE INTERVIEW

“I get very, very angry when people misinterpret the word ‘complicit’ for ‘responsible.’ And it’s not because I want to let people off the hook but quite the opposite. I want people to understand that they’ve been an accomplice. When we get into our mindset that says, ‘I am responsible for all the shit in my life,’ we’re actually walking away from doing the hard work.”
— Jerry Colonna

“So many people that I encounter, myself included, spend our childhood pendulating between grandiosity and a sense of worthlessness. ‘I’m either shit or I am the best.’”
— Jerry Colonna

“Good people do bad things all the time. Good people who do bad things who don’t learn are less evolved, less mature, than good people who do bad things who then learn through regret and remorse, but they remain good people.”
— Jerry Colonna

“The best of all the accomplishments I’ve ever done has been becoming the father that I needed as a child, without a doubt.”
— Jerry Colonna

“My capacity to bullshit myself continues unabated. And no matter how progressive I think I am and evolved I think I am, my ability to be deluded by my own mind knows no end.”
— Jerry Colonna

“It’s kind of a fucked up world we’re in right now. But to understand that there’s a human connection that can be gotten even in the midst of all this, I think, is incredibly important right now.”
— Jerry Colonna

“I think that as parents, we can become so afraid of fucking it up and hurting them, that we get wrapped around our own anxiety, our own narcissism. And then we lose the connection, which is the thing that our children want more than anything else.”
— Jerry Colonna

“When you lean into the questions that you need answered in your own life, you end up positively impacting other people.”
— Jerry Colonna

“Can you apologize to your children? Oh, my God, what a powerful tool that is.”
— Jerry Colonna

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Jennie H
Jennie H
1 year ago

Loved this episode so much Tim, thank you 🙂 You referenced your regret around grandkids – maybe there’s no need to feel regret. When you have kids, you will be able to take it ALL in – in a way many other parents are unable – due to circumstance & the need to work long hours to provide for their families. Because of the way you’ve structured your life, & the choices you’ve made, you’ll be able to enjoy every minute FIRST time round, and you can be exactly the kind of dad you want to be. Many parents can’t do that until they have grandkids, which I think is why this becomes a common statement. Non, je ne regrette rein. 

Chris
Chris
1 year ago

Downtown from Australia, the save on Disco Duck. This is a wedding song in my wife’s family where 1 uncle dances like a duck. Amazing to watch.

https://open.spotify.com/track/2nrqcM3yMxtv0TiXthlMSR?si=Fi6BZiwFQ76v-LsEr5cPBQ

Last edited 1 year ago by Chris
Kayla Reiter
Kayla Reiter
1 year ago

#DateTim I got waitlisted! I live in Summit County, CO and would love to go skiing with you

Kayla Reiter
Kayla Reiter
1 year ago
Reply to  Kayla Reiter

I also don’t know how to change that tiny profile thumbnail pic 😑

Ayub Allie
Ayub Allie
1 year ago

Hi Tim. 20 mins into the episode and already getting a ton of value! What is the audio recording equipment you’re using while mobile?

Last edited 1 year ago by Ayub Allie
Sylvie
Sylvie
1 year ago

Ahoy Tim,

You communicating our worth to the world is a true humanitarian cause, thank you. Keep going.

A rare subspecies, the modern 28-30-something year young value high women on a 2024 castaway social ship!

Following your curiosity, getting to know our habits, routines, ways of being and our world class inner process – you’ll likely find the right one.

Yours to discuss,
Sylvie

D.A. McCann
D.A. McCann
1 year ago

Really stresses me out that this website is so incredible and ‘tangible’, I could spend days on one of the show’s notes alone… but, alas, we’re running out of time!!!!!! IDEA > Why not link to a bookstore that is not amazon, such as, bookshop.org, who support raising money for local bookstores? Sure it is more complicated then that, with pay per clicks or maybe some kind of partnership with big dick Bezos, buuuuuuuuut….. Is it??


Coyote

A card game by Tim Ferriss and Exploding Kittens

COYOTE is an addictive card game of hilarity, high-fives, and havoc! Learn it in minutes, and each game lasts around 10 minutes.

For ages 10 and up (though I’ve seen six-year olds play) and three or more players, think of it as group rock, paper, scissors with many surprise twists, including the ability to sabotage other players. Viral videos of COYOTE have been watched more than 250 million times, and it’s just getting started.

Unleash your trickster spirit with a game that’s simple to learn, hard to master, and delightfully different every time you play. May the wit and wiles be with you!

Keep exploring.