Tony Robbins on How to Resolve Internal Conflict (#186)

Tony Robbins

“You can’t be grateful and angry simultaneously.” – Tony Robbins

The last time Tony Robbins (@tonyrobbins) was on the show, so many listeners found one of his exercises so helpful that they suggested I feature it on its own.

This guided meditation from Tony is designed to help you overcome stress in a way that’s backed with quantifiable neuroscience. If you’ve been worrying about unfinished business without resolution, this is a powerful tool to help you resolve the situation.

This is very short and very powerful. Enjoy!

You can find the transcript of this episode here. Transcripts of all episodes can be found here.

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#186: Tony Robbins on How to Resolve Internal Conflict

Want to hear my most recent podcast with Tony Robbins? — Listen to this episode. In this podcast, you’ll learn about success, fulfillment, and some of the worst advice Tony has ever heard (stream below or right-click here to download):

#178: Tony Robbins - On Achievement Versus Fulfillment

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QUESTION(S) OF THE DAY: What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know in the comments.

Scroll below for links and show notes…

Selected Links from the Episode

  • Connect with Tony Robbins:

Website | Twitter | Facebook

Show Notes

  • You can resolve internal conflicts when your heart and head — unconscious mind and conscious mind — are in alignment. [01:13]
  • “Your mind’s great for strategy, but it’ll never make you enjoy your life.” This exercise is designed to give your unconscious mind control. [02:30]
  • Reflect on what your heart has guided you to do for which you’re proud or grateful. [04:25]
  • Think of one exceptional moment in your life for which you could feel so grateful. [05:23]
  • Gratitude derails anger and fear (the two emotions that “mess us up most”). [06:20]

The Tim Ferriss Show is one of the most popular podcasts in the world with more than 900 million downloads. It has been selected for "Best of Apple Podcasts" three times, it is often the #1 interview podcast across all of Apple Podcasts, and it's been ranked #1 out of 400,000+ podcasts on many occasions. To listen to any of the past episodes for free, check out this page.

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40 Replies to “Tony Robbins on How to Resolve Internal Conflict (#186)”

  1. Love it, Tim. I wish there was just a bit of space between the end of the exercise and the five bullet Friday announcement to allow space to pause and reflect.

    Thank you for isolating this segment, I will come back to it again and again.


    1. Tim, this “guided meditation from Tony” was preceded by commercials and followed by commercials. Not so effective for a meditation. Leave the commercials off of these snippets, perhaps? Next time.

  2. Both insightful and powerful. I love the simplicity of Tony’s methods – he makes these excercises very approachable. Very much appreciated, Tim.


  3. I’d recommend watching some videos of the indian philosopher J. Krishnamurti on youtube on internal Conflict..his discourses are like a meditation, structured in an hour and made to look like you’re having a dialogue with him..

  4. Very insightful post. Discovered your blog, work, and podcasts a few months ago. Have made a point to listen to one of your podcast episodes a day if time allows. Thank you for the content you’ve shared with the world. They’ve certainly helped me better myself and have kept me productive. A suggestion for a future interview would be Stephen King. If you’re looking for a fiction read that is unparalleled check out his The Dark Tower series. Best series I’ve read or likely ever will read. And not in the horror genre that people assume are synonymous with King.

    Thanks Again Tim.



  5. Tim – leave space at the end of this after Tony finishes speaking. The exercise is pointless if you are immediately woken by you plugging something. You need to balance your content and your adverts for products and services as sometimes these distract from the message. Not cool.

    1. Agreed. His documentary is very disappointing too, it’s just an infomercial on steroids. Also tried a couple of his books and found them a bit lame and patronising. It’s like he’s gathered a monumental following through hypnotising the vulnerable through NLP, tapping in to peoples’ typical exposures; fathers, relationships, addictions etc etc. Very cultish and akin to Scientology, in my humble opinion at least

      1. You should watch his ‘documentary’ (informercial?) on Netflix called “I am not your Guru”. You will realise how superficial and fake his psychology is. Everything is related to your relationship with your parents and all your problems can be solved by embracing that relationship. Its ridiculous.

  6. Thank you Tim. Loved the 1st exercise. Thanks for bringing this to us. Yes, I endorse the documentary by Tony. REally enjoyed it and definitely started using some of the tools from the doc.

  7. Considering how Tony’s content and meetups usually ends up being evangelical and almost cult-like, I’m fairly disappointed he’s being featured here. He’s always come across as a vampiric shill whose only skill is to talk and sell his so-called self-help scheme.

    1. Your’e not the only one dude. Sadly, we are in the minority it seems. I got sucked into this (Tony and the rest of them) myself many years ago. Thank god I woke up a little. All “self-help” talk and philosophy is “self-delusion”. You experience a false sense of growth because you lower your awareness, blinding yourself to your problems instead of truly facing them. As a general rule of personal development, whenever you do something that lowers your awareness instead of raising it, you’re making a mistake.

      Personal growth is more than merely conditioning yourself to feel better about your life. While some people clearly need an attitudinal adjustment to make progress, the optimal attitude for personal growth doesn’t arise from self-delusional positive thinking. You don’t need positive thinking for personal growth. You simply need intelligence. Awareness is a crucial component of intelligence. To make intelligent decisions, you need accurate data. If you ignore valid data, you lower your awareness and thereby your intelligence. Imagine how your computer would function if it simply disregarded the contents of its memory on occasion: “I’m not going to read that part of my RAM because it looks like there’s a lot of work for me to do in there.” Stupid of course… yet this is precisely what we humans do that holds us back.

      Positive thinking can reduce intelligence by lowering awareness. Instead of facing your real problems and challenges, you try to write them off with affirmations. That isn’t the way to grow. It’s better to face and accept the whole truth, even if you don’t like what you see. A little pain now and then isn’t going to kill you.

      Don’t be so naive as to think that there aren’t forces working against you (and everyone has equal opportunity). There are. But fortunately, those forces aren’t strong enough to stop you if you continue to intelligently pursue the development of your own consciousness. Self-delusional positive thinking merely perpetuates fear and shoves it below the level of conscious awareness.

      1. I tend to agree. I don’t think you grow when you brain wash trauma with affirmations. This is used a lot in MLM. Reprogramming the brain sounds all well and good but acceptance and knowledge of where your pain comes from and pushing through that will empower you more in the long run. I found saying or writing affirmations knowing deep down that they weren’t really true made me more depressed and gave feelings of failure. It’s fluffing over reaching into the core, accepting pain and why it is there, understanding and pushing through it is going to make you use that to learn and live a better life. Affirmations are for the light hearted.

  8. Amazing podcast again! Thank you! I love when you’re your own guest as well. Tim I’d love to find out how you’re using these 3 months to promote your Tools of Titans book that’s coming out this fall. Out of your experience, what has been converting and what were some wasted marketing efforts in your previous book promotions. This post would make a lot of new authors happy!

  9. Tim – you are smashing it! Great posts and I love the structure and access to key points, related posts, etc. Tony Robbins is the real deal – don’t be put off by the Infomercial history, if you ever get the inclination to attend a live event (with TR personally hosting) just do it! Date with Destiny changed our marriage in the best way.

  10. Tim

    I heard of your podcast because I was a colleague of Dom D’agostino. That meditation with Tony Robbins was very powerful. I used it while waiting for my son from swim practice and had 10 minutes. What a powerful feeling, thank you for bringing this to the world.

  11. Thanks! The whole interview was great, but I wasn’t eager to hear the whole thing again in order to find this nugget. You did it for me.

  12. Exercise was insightful. I came to a conclusion.

    Executing the conclusion is the hard part though. When I go to do it the fear comes back. Whats the best way to deal with that?

    1. Hey Chris and everyone else,

      just ask yourself: Does this situation threatens my life? (answer with your conscious mind, not with your emotion) – repeat this about 5 times until your fear vanishes (assuming your situation is NOT REALLY dangerous :-))

      Fear, in the end, is always fear of dying.

      Unfortunately the old parts of our brains wich make the emotions misinterpret the evaluations of the new parts wich do the conscious thinking.

      New part says: “Oh, new situation! I dont know what will happen. Probably people dont like me.”

      Old brainparts react: “New situation! Possibly life threatening! Make FEAR so organism stays away from it!!! People dont like me? Probably kill me or ban me from the tribe! Make fear (or shame) so organism stays away from danger!!!

      Or the old parts make all kinds of “negative” emotions to better “educate” the “bad ones” in our “tribe” 🙂 (whether it be our spouse, kids, dog, computer or car or even the traffic! :-D)

      Thats the reason for approximately 99.99% of all the unwanted emotions we feel throughout the day.

      Heres a little “Emergency Plan” for whenever you have a “problem” or just for fun (good to have it written down and put in your wallet or so).

      Ask yourself

      – Why is my life NOT in danger? (repeat and answer 5 x, you should feel great relief by now)

      – With whom i can feel connected, close to? Why? Do i like him/her? Any similarities? Same goals? … feel it. Really get yourself into that feeling.

      – What can i enjoy? What else? What else? Why? … (same as above)

      – What can i look forward to? Now? Later? Why? (fun, happiness, relief …)

      – Bonus question: Is my problematic situation really THAT bad? Why not? …

      Have a nice day 🙂

  13. I appreciate all things Tony Robbins, thank you for making the effort to make us a meditation clip. If possible could you post it on YouTube as a more proper meditation. Joey, below pointed to some good points.

    P.S. Just received all your books, you are my reading list Sir! And on the flip, could not thank you enough for introducing me to HEADSPACE!

  14. Thanks to this audio it eased my agitation during a miserable, slow two-hour commute. I started reminiscing about very precious moments and I drove home with a smile. Tim, I appreciate your resources and I appreciate your hard work. Tony thank you as well for everything you do to make life better.

  15. Tim, you were literally the voice of god for me last night. I’ve been going through an incredibly trying time, and this exercise helped me step away from the fear, and get closer to who I was. Thanks for all the wonderful work

  16. I love Tony. For me personally though, I find there is too much thinking involved in this “meditation”. I prefer Headspace to calm me down. Being in a calm state typically helps me to sort out internal conflict.

  17. Tim – Thanks for this tidbit, truly a diamond in the ruff off all the amazing material you continue to share.

    On a different note, I haven’t seen you tackle how to master a foreign language yet? If you have, is their a program you recommend, if not, great subject matter for you to tackle?

  18. Excellent podcast. I’ve been using meditation for the past 4 months and with only 10 – 15 minutes a day (even before going to sleep) it really is making a huge difference in my life. I had to do something for the stress I was encountering a bout of recent anxiety attacks. I never ever had these problems until a few months ago. I use meditation techniques I’ve learned from the Head Space App, and this one from Tony was excellent.

  19. Question about the guided meditation exercise Tony Robbins detailed for Tim: What does it mean to “breath deep into your heart”? Is that just taking deep, slow, focused breaths? Am I trying to read too much into the way Tony explained that part of it?

  20. Tony really helped me get my e-book going again. Thanks so much. What you dudes don’t know or appreciate is how bad it can be. You say live for a week frugal. Dress in old clothes and eat beans. You’ve never been on the streets. Try not having an apartment, car, money and family. You are too soft now. Too much money. Too caught up in your little world. Get some God in you. You show no spirit, just love for money.

    Bruce Slaugenhaupt

  21. This, like the majority of these podcasts, was so great with so many great takeaways. How does one get to work for Tony?

  22. Tim, I’m sorry if this is too long or not fonzie cool. But dayum…you’re kind of the star of this post from my blog. Thanks for what you’re putting out into the universe.

    THE POST. If you want to be skinny, glowing, happy, smart, successful, healthy, and find true love riding on a unicorn: DO THIS. If you WON’T. You are reading the wrong blog.

    Do THIS. Click on the LINK. Get a notebook, spend 12 minutes and 45 seconds of your time, (even less if you skip the ads) write your thoughts and responses, and change your day. Maybe your week, perhaps your life.

    You may notice, I have included the link to Tim Ferriss and Tony Robbins interview and gratitude experience three, wait, now four times. Here are a few reasons:

    Gratitude is not an option if you want to transform, grow, glow, show,heal and thrive. Again,

    Gratitude. is. required.

    I do not recommend, suggest, or hope you will find ways to be grateful. I require it. If you are here just to lose weight, get healthier ONLY in a physical realm, you may be a bit short-sighted and small in your goals…, but the necessity of gratitude in your daily life remains the same.

    You will not achieve LASTING change in any realm, physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, financial, or any other aspect of life without a meaningful and daily gratitude practice. In writing.

    I think we’ve established, I’m not your Jedi Master. I am doing me, and encourage you to do you. I do not stutter or hesitate when I say this:

    Last time: NO lasting change can be effected without a consistent, meaningful, and daily gratitude practice. None. Nada. Zip. If you are going to gain knowledge, begin action, and change, if you are to truly transform, gratitude is necessary, required, vitally important. Gratitude is not an option. Write it down and send it out into the universe.

    Like number one. Like daily. Like for real. As in, I should have started the entire website with this post. (I’m slow, and not linear, so it’s post number 11, deal.) Like, I have such strong feelings and experiences with the whole “gratitude thing”, This post will be the first in a series.

    This is NOT a nice and cute thing to do on social media during November. This is not a passing thought, this is a hard-core, concrete necessity.

    Ok, Imma gonna take a breath and quit lecturing now.

    In August, I returned to school, went to my DOC, stopped drinking (there’s a story there), and began a daily gratitude practice. My goal? EVERY DAY, I would express WRITTEN GRATITUDE.

    YES…I did some journaling, using the Five Minute Journal, (I got mine at Barnes and Noble for 5 dollars, but it’s not there anymore) Purchase it on Amazon , OR print a bunch of this free pdf, or try the app. The journaling was a quick way to set my intention at the beginning of the day, get my mind right, and then review, reassess, and reflect at the end of the day.

    BUT MY REQUIREMENT…my absolute no excuses requirement of myself? Express written gratitude to at least ONE person or organization on a daily basis. This could include notes, letters, emails, or text messages. I grabbed some inexpnsive notes at Half-Price books, but 3×5’s would work, and some wonderwoman stamps.

    This post is the first in a “gratitude series” which will include some miracles, relationships, and positive outcomes of this practice, but for now, suffice it to say that daily written gratitude has changed me. Transformed me. Made me skinny. Made me happy. Gotten me sober. Enabled me to live a bigger life. Oh, and with the exception of my 15 dollar supply fee, it was totally free.

    Many many people want to know how I’m eating, what supplements I’m taking, how I’m moving and exercising. What program I’m following. And I’m a total geek about sharing that. And all of that has MAYBE helped in my journey? Probably hasn’t hurt, but for my final statement, let me reinforce:

    Written. Daily. Gratitude. Evokes. Transformation. In. Every. Realm.

    So start. NOW. Today. I know many of you have begun to give up your diet and regular soda! THAT IS AWESOME. Many others are going Bulletproof. Still Awesome! Some are embarking on the Ultramind Solution. Awesome x 3. Some of you are choosing to attack me, either to my face or behind my back, judging, gossipping, trying to tear down that which is threatening. Not as awesome, but still, a valid choice depending on your life goals. You do you.

    If you are not willing to begin a daily written gratitude expression, not one you keep to yourself, but one you share with the world, one person at a time, you are wasting your time. You are wasting my time. And you are on the wrong site.

    Spend your 12 minutes and 45 seconds, record your responses to the questions Mr. Robbins asks during the podcast, write ONE text, email, note, or letter and send it off. Lather, rinse, repeat.

    This will be continued.

    Love and Light,


  23. Does anyone have any links to the set of studies that Tony mentions? Ie:

    -Syncing brain and heart through the meditation


    – Resolving internal conflict when brain and heart aligned


  24. It’s hard for me to cry. Even when I’m going through a rough patch and i feel like my heart is going to burst.

    I always play things off with humor, and I try not to let it get to my head. But, eventually, it catches up with me.

    And, this exercise pulled tears out of me immediately. Feels like super great relief.

    I should probably practice gratitude more.

  25. I respect everything that you have written in this blog. Please continue to provide wisdom to more people like me.