Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More (#721)

“The other side’s dignity may not mean much to you, but it means everything to them.”
— William Ury

William Ury (@WilliamUryGTY), cofounder of Harvard’s Program on Negotiation, is one of the world’s best-known and most influential experts on negotiation. He is coauthor of Getting to Yes, the all-time bestselling negotiation book in the world; the author of one of my favorite books on negotiation (Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations); and author of the new book: Possible: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict.

He has served as a mediator in boardroom battles, labor conflicts, and civil wars around the world. An avid hiker, he lives in Colorado.

Please enjoy!

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Podcast Addict, Pocket Casts, Castbox, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, or on your favorite podcast platform. Watch the interview on YouTube here.

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The transcript of this episode can be found here. Transcripts of all episodes can be found here.

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#721: Master Negotiator William Ury — Proven Strategies and Amazing Stories from Warren Buffett, Nelson Mandela, Kim Jong Un, Hugo Chávez, and More

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What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know in the comments.

Want to hear my most recent interview with Jim Collins, the man who inspired William Ury to write Possible? Listen to our conversation here, in which we discussed the point allocation between dark force motivations and light force motivations, why you should never hesitate to reach out to mentors and people who have been instrumental in shaping your life, influential biographies, crafting good questions, creativity-tracking spreadsheets, the 20-minute rule, the value of clock building over time telling, and much more. You can find my first conversation with Jim Collins here.

#483: Jim Collins on The Value of Small Gestures, Unseen Sources of Power, and More

SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE

Connect with William Ury:

Website | Twitter | LinkedIn

SHOW NOTES

[06:53] Connecting with Roger Fisher.
[10:08] Devising Seminars.
[12:31] Negotiating the Camp David Accords.
[18:23] Writing the other side’s victory speech.
[21:17] Writing Kim Jong-un’s victory speech.
[26:20] Pondering possibilities in the modern Middle East.
[29:26] Lessons from iconic possibilist Nelson Mandela.
[32:17] Going to the balcony.
[36:11] Mitigating the risk of emotional spiraling with Hugo Chávez.
[40:50] The power of silence.
[44:09] Respect and saving face.
[51:08] Best alternative to a negotiated agreement (BATNA).
[1:02:49] The trust menu.
[1:06:29] The positive no.
[1:12:14] Closing on a positive note.
[1:14:56] What prompted William to write Possible?
[1:19:38] Negotiating as a creative endeavor.
[1:22:48] Sabbatical considerations.
[1:23:56] Exercise and self-care routines.
[1:29:27] Uncovering interests, not just positions.
[1:35:18] Hopes for the impact of Possible.
[1:37:25] Parting thoughts.

MORE WILLIAM URY QUOTES FROM THE INTERVIEW

“No one likes to make a hard decision, but everybody loves to criticize.”
— William Ury

“Work backwards, think about what victory would look like, and then work forwards.”
— William Ury

“Maybe the greatest power you have in a negotiation is the power not to react. It’s the power to go to the balcony instead.”
— William Ury

“Silence is one of your very best tools in a negotiation. The art of pausing.”
— William Ury

“The other side’s dignity may not mean much to you, but it means everything to them.”
— William Ury

“A persuasive negotiator is someone who’s a persuasive listener. Because when you listen to someone, you are seeing them, you are hearing them, you’re attuning to them. You ask them questions. What is it that you really want here? You’re showing interest in them. That is the basic level of respect. And in addition to that, it gives you a lot of information about what they want so that you can more effectively influence them to arrive at something that satisfies their needs and satisfies yours at the same time.”
— William Ury

“My whole life has been, in some ways, a study of the words ‘yes’ and ‘no.'”
— William Ury

“The path to possible is to go to the balcony, build a golden bridge, and take the third side. Influence yourself, influence the other, influence the whole.”
— William Ury

“My dream is if I were a Martian anthropologist right now looking at humanity and I’d say, ‘Wow, we live in this time of paradox because we have so much abundance, so much potential, so much opportunity to make the world better. We’ve got the technology, we’ve got AI, we’ve got all this stuff. At the same time, what’s in our way? There’s no limit to what we could do. There’s no opportunity we can’t realize. There’s no problem we can’t solve if only we can learn to work together.'”
— William Ury

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2 months ago

Wonderful interview. Excellent as ever! And a little reminder the phrase or concept of look from above or a view from the balcony is a phrase used by Heifetz and Linsey, joined by Grashow on the renowned practice of adaptive leadership where given credit where credit due.

Ryan Newick

Hello Tim from Australia, I’m Ryan and I’m 27.
I’m currently reading your book “The Four Hour Work Week” Expanded and Updated.

Also listening to your recent podcasts.

Great work, inspirational book I just say. I’m not far through it yet but have reached the “Dreamline”.

Hoping you know #1 thing on my list is to be apart or play a role on one of your up and coming podcasts.

I’m a creative young bloke working on a few things lately, hope to reach out to you and receive a response.

Thanks,
Ryan Newick

Rugile Penno

Hello Tim,
Thank you for 5 bullet Friday’s. It sometimes takes me few days to ‘digest’ and to process the information, but I always get there.:-) I love the quotes you pondering, I start pondering them too, beautiful quotes.
Content you present is nicely put together, somethings I find weird, at least to say, but it is interesting.
Few months ago I started watching your podcast and start receiving you newsletter. It lead to more content and new people and more information. It all was done through Internet. I am very grateful for all of that.
Thanks again and I’am looking forward for more news from you.
Rugile Penno

People negotiate, that is the proper way 🙂

Mike Benjamin

What an insightful episode! William Ury’s expertise in negotiation is unparalleled, and his ability to share practical strategies and compelling stories from his vast experience is truly inspiring. His new book, “Possible: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict,” sounds like a must-read for anyone navigating challenging situations. I particularly appreciate his emphasis on finding common ground and fostering understanding, especially in times of conflict. Looking forward to listening and learning from this master negotiator. Also, kudos to the sponsors for supporting such valuable content!

Abigail Wright

Wonderful interview – but what most impresses me about Bill Ury is his family. His daughter Gaby was born with multiple medical problems, including a deformed spine, yet she holds the women’s Guiness Book of World Records for planking. I was one of the witnesses. Only 16 years old at the time, she held the position for 1 hr. 20 minutes and 5 seconds. Her amazing mother Lisanne, her father, her two older brothers, and a crew of friends helped Gaby stay up with their love and encouragement. What this showed me was how Bill’s accomplishments truly flowered in the raising of his exceptional daughter. Many families with “special needs” children suffer from isolation and lack of services – yet Bill’s family was able to pull together for Gaby.

Angela Shurina

1 month ago

Every day after this podcast before ANY negotiation I repeat to myself:

– Go to the balcony
– Build a golden bridge
– Choose the third side

Puts me in the right mindset and the rest goes much easier and lighter.

Thank you Tim for being so multifaceted with your guests 🙂 Your podcast, in 10 years I’ve been with it, grew me into a person I’m proud of becoming.