Fear-Setting: The Most Valuable Exercise I Do Every Month

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I do an exercise called “fear-setting” at least once a quarter, often once a month. It is the most powerful exercise I do.  

Fear-setting has produced my biggest business and personal successes, as well as repeatedly helped me to avoid catastrophic mistakes.

The above TED talk (brand-new!) gives you an overview, and the below text provides more detail, step-by-step instructions, and real-world examples. For the three exercise slides from the TED presentation, click here.

Now, onward…

Enter Fear-Setting

“Many a false step was made by standing still.”
— Fortune Cookie

“Named must your fear be before banish it you can.”
— Yoda

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Twenty feet and closing.

“Run! Ruuuuuuuuuun!” Hans didn’t speak Portuguese, but the meaning was clear enough—haul ass. His sneakers gripped firmly on the jagged rock, and he drove his chest forward toward 3,000 feet of nothing.

He held his breath on the final step, and the panic drove him to near unconsciousness. His vision blurred at the edges, closing to a single pinpoint of light, and then . . . he floated. The all-consuming celestial blue of the horizon hit his visual field an instant after he realized that the thermal updraft had caught him and the wings of the paraglider. Fear was behind him on the mountaintop, and thousands of feet above the resplendent green rain forest and pristine white beaches of Copacabana, Hans Keeling had seen the light.

That was Sunday.

On Monday, Hans returned to his law office in Century City, Los Angeles’s posh corporate haven, and promptly handed in his three-week notice. For nearly five years, he had faced his alarm clock with the same dread: I have to do this for another 40–45 years?

He had once slept under his desk at the office after a punishing half-done project, only to wake up and continue on it the next morning.

That same morning, he had made himself a promise: two more times and I’m out of here. Strike number three came the day before he left for his Brazilian vacation.

We all make these promises to ourselves, and Hans had done it before as well, but things were now somehow different. He was different.

He had realized something while arcing in slow circles toward the earth—risks weren’t that scary once you took them. His colleagues told him what he expected to hear: He was throwing it all away. He was an attorney on his way to the top—what the hell did he want?

Hans didn’t know exactly what he wanted, but he had tasted it.

On the other hand, he did know what bored him to tears, and he was done with it. No more passing days as the living dead, no more dinners where his colleagues compared cars, riding on the sugar high of a new BMW purchase until someone bought a more expensive Mercedes. It was over.

Immediately, a strange shift began—Hans felt, for the first time in a long time, at peace with himself and what he was doing. He had always been terrified of plane turbulence as if he might die with the best inside of him, but now he could fly through a violent storm sleeping like a baby. Strange indeed.

More than a year later, he was still getting unsolicited job offers from law firms, but by then had started Nexus Surf,5 a premier surf adventure company based in the tropical paradise of Florianopolis, Brazil. He had met his dream girl, a Carioca with caramel-colored skin named Tatiana, and spent most of his time relaxing under palm trees or treating clients to the best times of their lives.

Is this what he had been so afraid of?

These days, he often sees his former self in the underjoyed and overworked professionals he takes out on the waves. Waiting for the swell, the true emotions come out: “God, I wish I could do what you do.” His reply is always the same: “You can.”

The setting sun reflects off the surface of the water, providing a Zen-like setting for a message he knows is true: It’s not giving up to put your current path on indefinite pause. He could pick up his law career exactly where he left off if he wanted to, but that is the furthest thing from his mind.

As they paddle back to shore after an awesome session, his clients get ahold of themselves and regain their composure. They set foot on shore, and reality sinks its fangs in: “I would, but I can’t really throw it all away.”

He has to laugh.

The Power of Pessimism: Defining the Nightmare

“Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.”
— Benjamin Disraeli, former British Prime Minister

To do or not to do? To try or not to try? Most people will vote no, whether they consider themselves brave or not. Uncertainty and the prospect of failure can be very scary noises in the shadows. Most people will choose unhappiness over uncertainty.

For years, I set goals, made resolutions to change direction, and nothing came of either. I was just as insecure and scared as the rest of the world.

The simple solution came to me accidentally four years ago. At that time, I had more money than I knew what to do with—I was making $70K or so per month—and I was completely miserable, worse than ever. I had no time and was working myself to death.

I had started my own company, only to realize it would be nearly impossible to sell. This turned out to be yet another self-imposed limitation and false construct. (BrainQUICKEN was acquired by a private equity firm in 2009.)

Oops. I felt trapped and stupid at the same time.

I should be able to figure this out, I thought. Why am I such an idiot?

Why can’t I make this work?! Buckle up and stop being such a (insert expletive)! What’s wrong with me? The truth was, nothing was wrong with me. I hadn’t reached my limit; I’d reached the limit of my business model at the time. It wasn’t the driver, it was the vehicle.

Critical mistakes in its infancy would never let me sell it. I could hire magic elves and connect my brain to a supercomputer—it didn’t matter. My little baby had some serious birth defects. The question then became, How do I free myself from this Frankenstein while making it self-sustaining? How do I pry myself from the tentacles of workaholism and the fear that it would fall to pieces without my 15-hour days? How do I escape this self-made prison? A trip, I decided.

A sabbatical year around the world.

So I took the trip, right? Well, I’ll get to that. First, I felt it prudent to dance around with my shame, embarrassment, and anger for six months, all the while playing an endless loop of reasons why my cop-out fantasy trip could never work. One of my more productive periods, for sure.

Then, one day, in my bliss of envisioning how bad my future suffering would be, I hit upon a gem of an idea. It was surely a highlight of my “don’t happy, be worry” phase: Why don’t I decide exactly what my nightmare would be—the worst thing that could possibly happen as a result of my trip?

Well, my business could fail while I’m overseas, for sure. Probably would. A legal warning letter would accidentally not get forwarded and I would get sued. My business would be shut down, and inventory would spoil on the shelves while I’m picking my toes in solitary misery on some cold shore in Ireland. Crying in the rain, I imagine. My bank account would crater by 80% and certainly my car and motorcycle in storage would be stolen. I suppose someone would probably spit on my head from a high-rise balcony while I’m feeding food scraps to a stray dog, which would then spook and bite me squarely on the face. God, life is a cruel, hard bitch.

Conquering Fear = Defining Fear

“Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with course and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: “Is this the condition that I feared?”
— Seneca

Then a funny thing happened. In my undying quest to make myself miserable, I accidentally began to backpedal. As soon as I cut through the vague unease and ambiguous anxiety by defining my nightmare, the worst-case scenario, I wasn’t as worried about taking a trip. Suddenly, I started thinking of simple steps I could take to salvage my remaining resources and get back on track if all hell struck at once. I could always take a temporary bartending job to pay the rent if I had to. I could sell some furniture and cut back on eating out. I could steal lunch money from the kindergarteners who passed by my apartment every morning. The options were many. I realized it wouldn’t be that hard to get back to where I was, let alone survive. None of these things would be fatal—not even close. Mere panty pinches on the journey of life.

I realized that on a scale of 1–10, 1 being nothing and 10 being permanently life-changing, my so-called worst-case scenario might have a temporary impact of 3 or 4. I believe this is true of most people and most would-be “holy sh*t, my life is over” disasters.

Keep in mind that this is the one-in-a-million disaster nightmare.

On the other hand, if I realized my best-case scenario, or even a probable-case scenario, it would easily have a permanent 9 or 10 positive life-changing effect.

In other words, I was risking an unlikely and temporary 3 or 4 for a probable and permanent 9 or 10, and I could easily recover my baseline workaholic prison with a bit of extra work if I wanted to.

This all equated to a significant realization: There was practically no risk, only huge life-changing upside potential, and I could resume my previous course without any more effort than I was already putting forth.

That is when I made the decision to take the trip and bought a one-way ticket to Europe. I started planning my adventures and eliminating my physical and psychological baggage. None of my disasters came to pass, and my life has been a near fairy tale since. The business did better than ever, and I practically forgot about it as it financed my travels around the world in style for 15 months.

Uncovering Fear Disguised as Optimism

“There’s no difference between a pessimist who says, ‘Oh, it’s hopeless, so don’t bother doing anything,’ and an optimist who says, ‘Don’t bother doing anything, it’s going to turn out fine any way.’ Either way, nothing happens.”
— Yvon Chouinard, founder of Patagonia

Fear comes in many forms, and we usually don’t call it by its four-letter name. Fear itself is quite fear-inducing. Most intelligent people in the world dress it up as something else: optimistic denial.

Most who avoid quitting their jobs entertain the thought that their course will improve with time or increases in income. This seems valid and is a tempting hallucination when a job is boring or uninspiring instead of pure hell. Pure hell forces action, but anything less can be endured with enough clever rationalization.

Do you really think it will improve or is it wishful thinking and an excuse for inaction? If you were confident in improvement, would you really be questioning things so? Generally not. This is fear of the unknown disguised as optimism.

Are you better off than you were one year ago, one month ago, or one week ago?

If not, things will not improve by themselves. If you are kidding yourself, it is time to stop and plan for a jump. Barring any James Dean ending, your life is going to be LONG. Nine to five for your working lifetime of 40–50 years is a long-ass time if the rescue doesn’t come. About 500 months of solid work.

How many do you have to go? It’s probably time to cut your losses.

””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

Someone Call the Maître D’

“You have comfort. You don’t have luxury. And don’t tell me that money plays a part. The luxury I advocate has nothing to do with money. It cannot be bought. It is the reward of those who have no fear of discomfort.” 
—JEAN COCTEAU, French poet, novelist, boxing manager, and filmmaker, whose collaborations were the inspiration for the term “surrealism ” 

Sometimes timing is perfect. There are hundreds of cars circling a parking lot, and someone pulls out of a spot 10 feet from the entrance just as you reach his or her bumper. Another Christmas miracle!

Other times, the timing could be better. The phone rings during sex and seems to ring for a half hour. The UPS guy shows up 10 minutes later. Bad timing can spoil the fun.

Jean-Marc Hachey landed in West Africa as a volunteer, with high hopes of lending a helping hand. In that sense, his timing was great.

He arrived in Ghana in the early 1980s, in the middle of a coup d’état, at the peak of hyperinflation, and just in time for the worst drought in a decade. For these same reasons, some people would consider his timing quite poor from a more selfish survival standpoint.

He had also missed the memo. The national menu had changed, and they were out of luxuries like bread and clean water. He would be surviving for four months on a slush-like concoction of corn meal and spinach. Not what most of us would order at the movie theater.

“WOW, ‘I’ CAN ‘SURVIVE.”

Jean-Marc had passed the point of no return, but it didn’t matter.

After two weeks of adjusting to the breakfast, lunch, and dinner (Mush à la Ghana), he had no desire to escape. The most basic of foods and good friends proved to be the only real necessities, and what would seem like a disaster from the outside was the most life – affirming epiphany he ’d ever experienced: The worst really wasn’t that bad. To enjoy life, you don’t need fancy nonsense, but you do need to control your time and realize that most things just aren’t as serious as you make them out to be.

Now 48, Jean – Marc lives in a nice home in Ontario, but could live without it. He has cash, but could fall into poverty tomorrow and it wouldn’t matter. Some of his fondest memories still include nothing but friends and gruel. He is dedicated to creating special moments for himself and his family and is utterly unconcerned with retirement. He’s already lived 20 years of partial retirement in perfect health.

Don’t save it all for the end. There is every reason not to.

””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

Q&A: QUESTIONS AND ACTIONS

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
—Mark Twain

If you are nervous about making the jump or simply putting it off out of fear of the unknown, here is your antidote. Write down your answers, and keep in mind that thinking a lot will not prove as fruitfulor as prolific as simply brain vomiting on the page. Write and do not edit—aim for volume. Spend a few minutes on each answer.

  1. Define your nightmare, the absolute worst that could happen if you did what you are considering. What doubt, fears, and “what-ifs” pop up as you consider the big changes you can—or need—to make? Envision them in painstaking detail. Would it be the end of your life? What would be the permanent impact, if any, on a scale of 1–10? Are these things really permanent? How likely do you think it is that they would actually happen?
  2. What steps could you take to repair the damage or get things back on the upswing, even if temporarily? Chances are, it’s easier than you imagine. How could you get things back under control?
  3. What are the outcomes or benefits, both temporary and permanent, of more probable scenarios? Now that you’ve defined the nightmare, what are the more probable or definite positive outcomes, whether internal (confidence, self-esteem, etc.) or external? What would the impact of these more likely outcomes be on a scale of 1–10? How likely is it that you could produce at least a moderately good outcome? Have less intelligent people done this before and pulled it off?
  4. If you were fired from your job today, what would you do to get things under financial control? Imagine this scenario and run through questions 1–3 above. If you quit your job to test other options, how could you later get back on the same career track if you absolutely had to?
  5. What are you putting off out of fear? Usually, what we most fear doing is what we most need to do. That phone call, that conversation, whatever the action might be—it is fear of unknown outcomes that prevents us from doing what we need to do. Define the worst case, accept it, and do it. I’ll repeat something you might consider tattooing on your forehead: What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do. As I have heard said, a person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have. Resolve to do one thing every day that you fear. I got into this habit by attempting to contact celebrities and famous business people for advice.
  6. What is it costing you—financially, emotionally, and physically—to postpone action? Don’t only evaluate the potential downside of action. It is equally important to measure the atrocious cost of inaction. If you don’t pursue those things that excite you, where will you be in one year, five years, and ten years? How will you feel having allowed circumstance to impose itself upon you and having allowed ten more years of your finite life to pass doing what you know will not fulfill you? If you telescope out 10 years and know with 100% certainty that it is a path of disappointment and regret, and if we define risk as “the likelihood of an irreversible negative outcome,” inaction is the greatest risk of all.
  7. What are you waiting for? If you cannot answer this without resorting to the previously rejected concept of good timing, the answer is simple: You’re afraid, just like the rest of the world. Measure the cost of inaction, realize the unlikelihood and repairability of most missteps, and develop the most important habit of those who excel and enjoy doing so: action.

###

The above has been adapted from chapters in The 4-Hour Workweek and Tools of Titans.

SUGGESTED READING:

Posted on: May 15, 2017.

Please check out Tribe of Mentors, my newest book, which shares short, tactical life advice from 100+ world-class performers. Many of the world's most famous entrepreneurs, athletes, investors, poker players, and artists are part of the book. The tips and strategies in Tribe of Mentors have already changed my life, and I hope the same for you. Click here for a sample chapter and full details. Roughly 90% of the guests have never appeared on my podcast.

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33 comments on “Fear-Setting: The Most Valuable Exercise I Do Every Month

  1. Hi Tim,

    This is my fave post of yours. Ever.Because it is me. I guess it is a lot of us who live our dreams, and see those dreams expand every day, but it spoke to my heart.

    Side note; LOVE the blog post format here and there. Podcasts rock around the clock of course but if you work these in I am here, reading every one, and tweeting to my 50,000 followers.Every single freaking one. Fabulous.

    All we want stands on the other side of fear. For me, financial related fears crippled me for most of my life. I worked jobs I despised to the point of where I wanted to kill myself – about – rather than go in to work for another day. Then I was fired from my security guard job, heard about running a blog, something you could make money through, and I was in.

    After struggling horribly for years I had some success. I even created a fab blog and brand based on me island hopping and and pro blogging and helping my readers do the same. All good. All prospering. BUT…it wasn’t until a few months ago where I dove head first into my fear of losing everything, including aka mostly, my fear of losing money. I had resisted the fear for years, flipping out, angering, self-sabotaging, and flaming out. For. Years. Maddening experience. Which led to some epic flame outs.

    But a few months ago I sat with the fear and made a daily vow to step into it….every day. No exceptions. Writing comments, submitting guest posts to new blogs, promoting my wares.

    A funny thing happened: I made more money. Quickly. Like within hours.Then days. But in the same respect I feel like Jean-Marc too; like I could lose it all and it’d be no big deal. Because it is just….money. Nothing to be feared or revered. Just an energy.

    The catch; like Hans and JM and you, ya gotta dive deeper into your fears daily. This is not a once a year thing.You may have a dramatic moment of facing down the fear of death like Hans here and there but the more sly, sneaky but hella intense fears of criticism and poverty and rejection are waiting around every corner, beckoning you to come, challenge them.

    I also finally learned – being such a smart guy, after only 6 years! 😉 – to apply my travel-related fear-facing to my blogging and business life. In the past month I faced down an 8 inch centipede, bird-eating spider and scorpion in Thailand. House located by a national park, monsoon season. You know how it works, world traveler.

    Anyway, I evicted each poisonous, aggressive critter with ease, calmly. not getting ruffled at all. Especially with the centipede – highly venemous, savagely aggressive and with an excruciatingly painful bite – this was not small potatoes. Big time fear factor stuff, reaching under couches where he hid, avoiding his fangs, it was nuts but I was clam and quite fearless, after living most of the last 6 years in the tropics.

    Light bulb moment; why not dive into my fears life-wise and biz-wise as I do with my world travels? So I did.

    With each day, if you will just sprint toward fear, your biggest fears will reveal themselves, then, they will die a quick death. Because you see the illusion of it all. Fear is a bunch of squiggly little itty bitty energy waves in your mind. Is that something to be afraid of?

    Thanks for the inspired share Tim!

    Signing off from the Upper West Side of NYC.

    Ryan

    Like

  2. This blog post has nailed a good chunk of what I see as questions and answers everyone should have for their lives. The stories are told from a perspective of someone who KNOWS that feeling, and has really thought deeply about the experiences Then action is taken and they weave those in a positive way into their way of engaging with the world. Bravo.

    Like

  3. So much have I been saying to myself that it’s the questions you ask yourself that determine the wealth of your life? The stuff you don’t want to think about, the stuff you don’t want to even imagine. Although your post and TED talk about questions, I like that you focus on the hard ones we need to ask ourselves. We spend so much time avoiding the potential pain of even thinking about the worst possible outcome, that in effect, the avoidance of it may actual cause us greater pain. Like you, I suffer from mental health issues, spent most of my life using myself as a guinea pig trying to figure out how to deal with my anxiety and depression issues. Thank you for your insightful talk and accompanying article plus suggested reading to further me on my path of self-discovery to define what success and happiness are to me, as well as solidifying my belief that asking yourself hard questions is the way to go.

    Like

  4. You introduced me to Stoicism, Tim. And it has had the single largest philosophy which has impacted my life. I’ve studied it for over 3 years now, and it’s the most influential factor in all my (good) decisions – at work, in relationships, and in life. Thank you very much.

    Like

      • I loved On Shortness of Life and The Daily Stoic, Tim. I’ve fleetingly read Enchiridion too. But without doubt, the book which has had the deepest impact on my life is ‘Meditations’.

        Favorite passages:
        “You should take no action unwillingly, selfishly, uncritically, or with conflicting motives. Do not dress up your thoughts in smart finery: do not be a gabbler or a meddler…… and see that you keep a cheerful demeanour, and retain your independence of outside help and the peace which others can give. Your duty is to stand straight – not held straight.” – Marcus Aurelius

        “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” – Marcus Aurelius

        “People are so frugal in guarding their personal property; but as soon as it comes to time they are most wasteful of the one thing in which it is right to be stingy.” – Seneca

        P.S. Mahendra Singh Dhoni, the ex-Indian cricket team captain typifies Stoicism, Tim. But I don’t think he’s studied it. A podcast session will bring amazing insights to light, plus get you hundreds of thousands of listeners from India 🙂 But he’s an extremely private person.

        Cheers.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I don’t understand this sentence: ” Mere panty pinches on the journey of life.”

    I’m actually afraid to read this entire essay, because then I might have to face the fact that I’m afraid to change my life.

    Like

    • Mark, I recently left a good paying job in China to come back to South Africa and start a business – knowing I probably couldn’t find a job if the business didn’t work out. I also sat down and began to write down the worst. In summary, my wife, two children and me on the streets in Africa. Then I began to consider the true likelihood of that, and what would be one step up, two steps up etc. and realized that the worst case with any remote likelihood of happening was something survivable. I made the jump. Yes, I have a lot less money every month now. But I’m so much happier than I thought I would be. I guess one has to get to the point where you are more afraid of not changing your life, than you are of the possible risks that come with changing it. Good luck to you!

      Like

  6. Tim, thanks for this post–it is EXACTLY what I needed to read today, but I’m printing it off to read it on a regular basis. Fear has crippled and continues to cripple me, so I really needed to read this…I am vacillating between “whether or not” to do something, something that might be awesome, but I’m scared (scared of failure, of “making a fool out of myself”). Thanks for sharing your own story; for being so real and honest.

    Like

  7. Thanks for this practical guide on one of your core exercises!

    It seems weird to say, but when it is presented in a short video with a step-by-step guide, I feel like it will be easier to absorb and digest than when it is surrounded by other great content in one of your books.

    I also feel like I may actually sit down and complete this exercise tonight with a friend!

    Thanks for doing what you do, Mr Ferriss!

    Like

  8. Tim, thank you for such a perfectly timed post. I needed this message today. I’ve been feeling discouraged and considering cancelling or delaying a Hawaiian Healer’s Retreat in October.

    Like

  9. This reminds me of the risk assessments we do when designing and building new software. We ask these same questions:

    1. What could go wrong? (define)
    2. How can we prevent that from happening? (prevent)
    3. If it does go wrong, how can we fix it? (repair)

    We also add:
    4. What’s the likelihood of this going wrong?
    5. What’s the impact if it goes wrong?

    The funny thing is that no one ever seems to question the benefit of building the software vs the risks involved. They just assume that the risks will be overcome and the benefits will make it all worth it. Yet, for our own lives, we often take the opposite attitude.

    When you embark on something new, you need to consciously ask those same questions. Parts 2 and 3 – the benefits of trying and the consequences of doing nothing – are, in my opinion, the pieces that most people miss when looking at themselves.

    Bottom line: applying this method to one’s own life is a beautiful thing.

    Like

  10. This reinforces something I’ve done since my teens, and I have no idea where I learned it. It consisted of 2 questions: 1. What’s the worst that could happen? 2. Could I survive the consequences if it did. If I’m honest, the answer to #2 is always yes. I may not like the consequences, but I could survive them. There was always the awareness that I could always figure it out, and that those changes could send me down a better path… so even in the face of fear, it still seemed pretty exciting.

    Like

  11. Thank you Tim for this post. Most of all thank you for sharing your challenges with Bi Polar. This gives your advice and suggestions even more validity, the fact that you have succeeded on such a level with this condition is completely awesome. Also I feel that people are scared to admit to mental illness in a way that is different from others, so for someone with your profile to do this, can really challenge the status quo, inspire others to speak out, and get some help. Wishing you continued good health.

    Like

  12. Hello Tim,
    An admirer not a hard-core follower, but working my way up to it. Always value your inside to the Human Condition. Just learned about Stoicism from your video, which Stoic book would you recommend as the first read.
    Thanks

    Like

  13. I’m an early childhood teacher and have been following your work for about a year. I wanted to share how moving I found your most recent TED talk. You spoke with grace and with a genuine interest in helping your audience feel braver and more in control. Your talk didn’t feel sale-focused or self-focused. You spoke with the genuine care of a teacher wishing his students will find more joy, more peace, and more strength. Thanks for sharing. If you decide to try something REALLY different and explore the zany world of emergent teaching for young children, I think you’d have a lot to offer. Warmly, -E

    Like

  14. Tim, I love your 4 hr wk/wk book. I am 57, I was 13 with the pistol in my hand. I do not remember what got me to there, or why I did not finish it. But thanks for sharing. I still hurts when I think of it.

    Like

  15. Fantastic, Tim. This is a great resource for someone like me who struggles with ego and empathy, but who has friends and family who struggle with depression. This was approachable and helpful, and funny! This is my official request for more funny Stoic stuff please 🙂

    Ryan Holiday spoke of writing “The Daily Stoic” as one of the easier books he has written. Renowned Potter Shoji Hamada from Mashiko, Japan once described his working style as, “like walking downhill.” Beautiful.

    Like

  16. For a single person, this all mite work great. For sumone married or has kids, thats an awful lot of kindergarteners you’d have to mug lunch money from to feed, clothe and shelter them.
    There is a healthy fear of throwing everything away when others are completely dependent on you.
    When its just you, tho–go for it.
    I will someday do this, as an old lady. My youngest wont be grown till im 62. But then im goin round the world 😊

    Like

    • Yes these choices are much easier without kids. Yet on the other hand most places around the world are much more affordable than the US. So take that journey for months or a year to another more affordable family-friendly place – Portugal, Ecuador, or Mexico (most places are safer and more family-friendly than much of the US!). This single experience will expand your life more than a lifetime of living in the same place in the good old US of A!

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  17. Tim, I love the concept of fear setting. I’d like to know if anyone has applied it, not as a working person or entrepreneur, but as a retired, recently widowed person. I do believe there are opportunities in front of me and I am at the starting point of exploring them. I am going to try to apply your steps to my potential options. If anyone has tips for me, I’d love to hear them.

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  18. Tim. This post. Good timing is an understatement. Today’s journaling, meditation, power yoga, puppy cuddles, watching the surf…nothing shifted my energy like your words. “That phone call, that conversation, whatever the action might be—it is fear of unknown outcomes that prevents us from doing what we need to do.” Writing that email in the morning. Gracias totales.
    Y proba yerba mate La Tranquera y La Merced. Un lujo. Un abrazo desde Sydney, Australia.

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  19. I saw your TED talk last week and set an appointment to come back and work through the exercise. Life changing! It took my mountains and made them mole hills. I’ve already made an appointment to do this next month. Thanks!

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  20. Hi Tim,
    Love this post and idea. I’ve also come up with a simple and powerful improvement to the process that I think you’ll like. In short, use another person instead of doing fear-setting in isolation. [Moderator: link removed.]
    -A

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  21. I didn’t realize this TED talk was new! I’ll be sharing this video and facilitating this exercise with some of my college students in our lunch series on “Life After Graduation.” While schools are great at providing support for incoming frosh, there is not nearly enough emotional support for graduating seniors.
    I’m looking forward to reading the section in “Tribe of Mentors” that addresses the question of “What would you tell your college self?” Do you currently have any of those responses available online or on the blog? Maybe a future podcast episode dedicated to this one question! It’d be great to compile some responses similar to this great article on 99u called “What I Wish I Knew At Every Age” [Moderator: link removed.] Thanks for all of your work and for sharing.

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  22. Would like Tim to revise this post when he is 68, in frail health, with just enough money to scrape through three more years …

    Would like the comment of of the destitute scavenging the dumps of third world failed states …

    Would like to know how many careers Tim has ruined with this advice?

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