Brute force seldom works with haters. Redirection does. (Photo: Deadstar 2.0)
I recently spent a week in Amsterdam enjoying bicycles, canals, Queensday, and… ahem… coffee shops. For real. Honest. The best coffee I’ve had in Europe has to be De Koffie Salon.
I also gave a short keynote at The NextWeb about how to deal with haters, protect yourself from (some) media, respond to FlipCams, and other personal branding self-defense 101.
Think you have crazy people contacting you or commenting on your blog? Me too. I share some of my favorite hater e-mails, Amazon reviews, and voicemails. It’ll make you feel better to hear the stories.
It is possible to learn to love haters. But it does take some know-how and tactical planning…
I elaborated on a few points in an interview in the Netherlands with Amy-Mae Elliot, who originally posted them on Mashable in her piece Tim Ferriss: 7 Great Principles for Dealing with Haters:
1. It doesn’t matter how many people don’t get it. What matters is how many people do.
“It’s critical in social media, as in life, to have a clear objective and not to lose sight of that,” Ferriss says. He argues that if your objective is to do the greatest good for the greatest number of people or to change the world in some small way (be it through a product or service), you only need to pick your first 1,000 fans — and carefully. “As long as you’re accomplishing your objectives, that 1,000 will lead to a cascading effect,” Ferriss explains. “The 10 million that don’t get it don’t matter.”
2. 10% of people will find a way to take anything personally. Expect it.
“People are least productive in reactive mode,” Ferriss states, before explaining that if you are expecting resistance and attackers, you can choose your response in advance, as opposed to reacting inappropriately. This, Ferriss says, will only multiply the problem. “Online, I see people committing ’social media suicide’ all the time by one of two ways. Firstly by responding to all criticism, meaning you’re never going to find time to complete important milestones of your own, and by responding to things that don’t warrant a response.” This, says Ferriss, lends more credibility by driving traffic.
3. “Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity.” (Colin Powell)
“If you treat everyone the same and respond to everyone by apologizing or agreeing, you’re not going to be recognizing the best performers, and you’re not going to be improving the worst performers,” Ferriss says. “That guarantees you’ll get more behavior you don’t want and less you do.” That doesn’t mean never respond, Ferriss goes on to say, but be “tactical and strategic” when you do.
4. “If you are really effective at what you do, 95% of the things said about you will be negative.” (Scott Boras)
“This principle goes hand-in-hand with number two,” Ferriss says. “I actually keep this quote in my wallet because it is a reminder that the best people in almost any field are almost always the people who get the most criticism.” The bigger your impact, explains Ferriss (whose book is a New York Times, WSJ and BusinessWeek bestseller), and the larger the ambition and scale of your project, the more negativity you’ll encounter. Ferriss jokes he has haters “in about 35 languages.”
5. “If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” (Epictetus)
“Another way to phrase this is through a more recent quote from Elbert Hubbard,” Ferriss says. “‘To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” Ferriss, who holds a Guinness World Record for the most consecutive tango spins, says he has learned to enjoy criticism over the years. Ferriss, using Roman philosophy to expand on his point, says: “Cato, who Seneca believed to be the perfect stoic, practiced this by wearing darker robes than was customary and by wearing no tunic. He expected to be ridiculed and he was, he did this to train himself to only be ashamed of those things that are truly worth being ashamed of. To do anything remotely interesting you need to train yourself to be effective at dealing with, responding to, even enjoying criticism… In fact, I would take the quote a step further and encourage people to actively pursue being thought foolish and stupid.”
6. “Living well is the best revenge.” (George Herbert)
“The best way to counter-attack a hater is to make it blatantly obvious that their attack has had no impact on you,” Ferriss advises. “That, and [show] how much fun you’re having!” Ferriss goes on to say that the best revenge is letting haters continue to live with their own resentment and anger, which most of the time has nothing to do with you in particular. “If a vessel contains acid and you pour some on an object, it’s still the vessel that sustains the most damage,” Ferriss says. “Don’t get angry, don’t get even — focus on living well and that will eat at them more than anything you can do.”
7. Keep calm and carry on.
The slogan “Keep Calm and Carry On” was originally produced by the British government during the Second World War as a propaganda message to comfort people in the face of Nazi invasion. Ferriss takes the message and applies it to today’s world. “Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,” Ferriss concludes. “Keep calm and carry on!”
Afterword
One of my favorite authors, Nassim N. Taleb of Black Swan fame, e-mailed me the following aphorism today, which was perfect timing and perfectly put:
Robustness is when you care more about the few who like your work than the multitude who hates it (artists); fragility is when you care more about the few who hate your work than the multitude who loves it (politicians).
Choose to be robust.
The Tim Ferriss Show is one of the most popular podcasts in the world with more than one billion downloads. It has been selected for "Best of Apple Podcasts" three times, it is often the #1 interview podcast across all of Apple Podcasts, and it's been ranked #1 out of 400,000+ podcasts on many occasions. To listen to any of the past episodes for free, check out this page.
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Great tips for dealing with this kind of persons. I liked that one of letting them see you happy haha.
Tnx Tim
Tim, These “7 Great Principles” resonate with me, though I believe #6 and #7 could be merged, because everyone will likely continue on their own channel.
I believe if you are truly steeped in the ultimate purpose of your mission or work, you don’t have to put on a show, or feel like you’re ‘getting back at someone’ (aka revenge as referred to here)… you just go on being you and doing what you are supposed to do. It’s not about you, anyway… What do you think?
Tim,
This is something that everyone, everywhere deals with whether in real life or online. I felt disheartened for the person in the audience who didn’t think that it applied to him and went to such great lengths to try and ask a “meaningful” question. He just didn’t get it.
I am planning on showing this post to my father as he taught me from a young age how to deal with haters. Of course he has his own catch phrases to go with his philosophy including:
“That’s your life, not mine. If you want to be miserable – go right ahead.” (said to a co-worker who was advocating the “need” for my dad to purchase a gas guzzling truck/hating on him for owning a GMC, but good as a general shut down for negativity)
“With friends like that, who needs enemies?” (said to myself and my siblings to encourage us to hang around positive people)
And of course, perhaps his favourite phrase and (oddly enough) one of the most comforting:
“Get over it!”
Usually said to me when I was complaining about anything (haters included). It always made me feel better, because really, who cares!
Of course internet hate is different than real life hate and I can honestly say that I had trouble not reacting when one of my teachers turned to me with a look of disgust and told me “I hate it. I absolutely hate it.” with reference to a project that I had made.
Thank you for putting together this blog! Loved the bit on Cato.
Cheers I enjoyed your insight.
Thanks, Tim. This is excellent advice and is about to be posted on my office wall… 😀
Wonderful. Thanks. A great reminder that social fabric is not linear, so to even try to be perfect and liked by all is futile. There’s no straight line to being ‘the best’. Great theatrical moment with the sleeve, btw. With every presentation you give, you turn more into a variety and vaudeville performer.
Taps, next time!
Hi Tim,
This is a great blog post.
I have designed a wikipedia for my work and have been going through the training and also trying to get other people on board so I don’t create a bottleneck (me) with taking care of uploading and maintaining the information. The information needs to be correct so when clients call through they get the correct answer, also with the processing staff they get the right information. I work in finance so quick and correct answers are critical. But, I digress.
A few people have been very negative about the whole thing (haters), they’re a bit old school and like closed systems where no one can change them except key expert dependencies. This is slow and takes a long time, and funding more importantly (bloody expensive). It’s been really hard to deal with up until now.
I now take their negative feedback and have redesign what I’m doing for the better (I haven’t told them though). I can now also look them in the eye and take on board their thoughts and feelings without flinching. Which is a big step for me!!
I really like the direction that this is going, I hope to see other post’s like this.
Best regards
Adam Lamotte
Hater’s gonna hate.
You have to expect people are going to hate you regardless of what you do or how successful you are. So many are ready to build you up and then try to pull you back down – just look how how we deal with celebrities.
It isn’t until you’re dead that they respect you again (cough cough Michael Jackson). So, since you know you’ll always have a group of people that will hate you, let ’em.
There’s nothing as enjoyable than to troll someone that’s already mad. Push them beyond their own limits while keeping your cool.
Very nice presentation. Looking very fit Mr. Ferriss.
I don’t think the audience can be blamed for being any which way they are, the orator needs to adapt.
On the topics of haters, or maybe more like the general area of the suject, I’m surprised no-one quoted Oscar Wilde, allow me:
“I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.”
“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
“When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong.”
Tim: You forgot the most important maxim for dealing with haters:
Most people are idiots.
HAY Tim i tried to contact through Amy but she said u were
hopefully this works
“i am a long time fan and a first time writer”
and have read your book 15 times at least
now that the corniness is over i was wondering if i could get your input on something, a few seconds of your time could same me years
i will try to keep this as short as possible
i am some what of a Jacque Fresco 2.0’ist in training and i just talked with the Jacque for a couple hours 3 days ago in person and being a self studied multidisciplinary rebel futurist on the high of satori i was wondering
what material could you recommend that could help me to catch up or surpass your level or business and internet wisdom in the most efficient and effective way. I learn fast and i don’t want a degree just the wisdom so i can design and apply it in its parameters which i am unaware of the, “D” is for Definition” so to speak.
p.s. i visited brickwork a month back, lol the guy told me that they get 2 calls a day based on your mention of them in the book and he still hasn’t read it.
p.s. #2 i am 21
p.s. #3 you and Jacque Fresco and people i aspire to surpass
p.s. #3 one of my favorite books is called “The Science Of Enlightenment” worth reading if you haven’t thus far i place it up there along with you book.
(ok this is getting too long)
FINAL p.s. contacting you is hard i feel like the students you described in Princeton but this is not my first attempt and i promise it certainly wont be my last.
All the best
&
I’ll see you when i see you
Hey Josh,
I just came across this comment a decade later and interested in the same stuff you asked then.
Did you ever get an answer? Please let me know.I want to learn fast, no more degrees.
I found the tattoo extremely interesting.
My first impression was, what has this guy done? He is just trying to promote an “extreme” lifestyle by becoming more and more outrageous. And then, because I like your work, I started to justify it, even thinking, you know, I want one of those.
And then, in proper Verfremdungseffekt fashion, you rip the damn thing off your arm. This really snapped me out my preconceived notion(s) and I was kind of embarrassed that I let the image get in the way of the content. I realized I wasn’t paying attention to the message.
I like to think of myself as “enlightened,” but it’s interesting the conclusions one jumps to, without really absorbing the meaning.
Great lesson! Thanks!
[…] Tim Ferriss (the famous) entrepreneur, public speaker, and author of The 4-Hour Workweek took the stage at The Next Web ‘10 event in Amsterdam to discuss how to learn to love haters and he shared 7 great principles for dealing with them. see a few bellow : […]
I usualy don’t like any self help books or any self help promoters as many of them are full of big words, serf serving rules and principles and one giant ego.
I started reading your book few days ago and looked at your blog. I think you are doing pretty well actually! The main reason for this is that I live simillar mini-retirement way for about 7 years already without reading any self-help books and had to do through all those stages as you did by myself.
Funny, I had seen all the things you described, the “If I only have more money” mantra of my friends etc. Just last week I was a bit surprised when my close friend called me lazy. We laughed about it, but it actually surprised me a bit. I organized my life so I don’t have to do the 9-5, I can travel, take months off doing my hobbies etc.. but for some reason people think that this was something that falls on your head while you were motionless and lazy.
BTW: I love the way that you are not trying to put yourself as some deity that does everything right from the start and has some self appointed mandate to preach to others – a common line in the self help promoter group. You really can’t get from point A to C without going through B, but it is better if you are guided and assured that the path is correct.
Anyway, good luck to you and for others – those points you talk about are valid – I live by them and come to this state on my own, and it is good to see that I am not alone and there are people who can actually formulate their thoughts pretty clearly. (Something I still need to learn)
They laughed at Galileo! They laughed at Einstein!
Yes, and they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
I loved the post! I take responses way too personal. I have seen everything been called a scam. I think that is a way to know that you’ve made it, especially as an info marketer is when you get people getting angry at you for no logical reason. Angry people make angry and hateful comments its that simple!
I love how people can even hate on someone like yourself who does nothing but help people to enhance their lives on a large scale and in many different ways. Sure you make money along the way. It’s America. Sure you enjoy center stage. So what? That’s the only way to be effective on a large scale.
If your happy and people respect you, someone will be jeolous enough to spend time trying to tear you down. It really is a sign that you are growing in popularity.
As for jealousy, when people (you, me, us, whoever) feel it they should look inside themselves and find where they are cheating themselves out of something in life.
I personally love to have somebody like yourself to give me tips in things that really matter in my life or that I just enjoy. It’s fun to learn or to try to figure out tricks to be more effective.
Thank you, Jaime, and everyone who’s kind enough to comment and help this community. I love it.
Hey Tim, I apologise for not writing this sooner. Bought the first book and the second, why..it changed my life. I am not a young nerd, far from it, can barely text, ..with the recession had to do some fast moves, resulted in some success, 30% increase in pay to start, then built up cred.,next got headhunted to do a job I was not anywhere near capable of doing, OUTSOURCED! never even heard of it before 4HWW my income went through the roof, 10X original salary on one hour work per day! Now in Holland, really sorry I did not hear you were in Amsterdam. It has changed not only my income, also my self worth and resilience to change, and, I insist all my feng shui clients read it…and at my other job…they love the quality of (OUTSOURCED) work I bring to the table and then bill them for. Thank you Anna
That’s outstanding, Anna! Congratulations. This made my day 🙂
Tim
Hi Tim,
Many thanks for all you do here and elsewhere! I am not a hater! Tips are cool but address one’s reaction to the hater(absolutely important, control what you can control)but don’t really speak to the issue of how to handle a real hater in the sense of a stalker or other adversary in the social media realm or out here in the street.
I favor the basic Aikido/Ju-Jitsu approach: redirection and using opponents energy to reach a higher place. If someone is trying to kill me literally I am a big believer in the S.P.E.A.R. system of Tony Blauer. It works off trying to use basic flinch mechanism to ensure survival before going into complex motor skills.
anyway, Thanks!
The fake tattoo thing was funny, I didn’t think you had any tattoos after all those episodes of Random but you did take a long trip to China!
**Moderator please disregard the first post, wrong e-mail**
Tim,
As we await your new book, I do have one suggestion, more like request, for your new book. If not your book then maybe it’s something you can touch on in a later post. A lot of your success is due to, I believe, your ability to deconstruct things. Will you be covering this?
Everything from how learning how to throw a knife, beat depression, manage time, to learning how to play guitar can be learned if one is to take into account others trial-and-error’s, find what worked and didn’t and then execute.
You can write an encyclopedia on how you lifehacked this and lifehacked that. What we (me I mean) needs are those fundamental tools and resources to be able to deconstruct and hack things that we need and would like to learn. Right now, you build specific tools to guide people to do bigger and better things. What is you showed us how to be tool makers. Now that is a case study I would love to see.
An army of Tim’s. Albiet, without as much caffeine.
–Tony
Post Script
This same message is being e-mailed, Twitted (new word I just made up) and facebooked (I need to call Webster’s) to you. If you want to roll a 7, throw more die.
Tony, thanks for the comment. Heard loud and clear. There’s a good chance I’ll tackle this as my next project. Thanks again!
Tim
Valid points, taken, though still trying to figure how you do it, having a lot of fun whilst often saying usefull stuff, and on the other hand only having yourself as a product. Detaching Tim Ferriss from his ideas still puzzle me, but you seem to go along fine. No problem, very clever. Keep up the good work!
Tim, after thinking it all through, just decided to go on another heliskiing trip in BC coming season! Do care ’bout the environment, especially when its 3 meters of powder glinstering down at me from a chopper ready to be attacked. Amen, and the world will not worsen absent of my useful thoughts for a week or so.
Excellent! This is applicable to practically ALL facets of life. I always learn from you; thank you.
Wish I had you telling me this about 10 years ago when I published my first book and immediately received a review which was nothing more than a horrific personal attack. At the time, I thought it best to not even honor it with a response, but when I read it, I felt like someone had physically kicked me in the stomach. As a result, I backed away from media exposure and the inevitable haters that come along with it.
I’m older, wiser, and way tougher now, so I’m making a comeback. It was great to reinforce that everyone experiences haters and trolls at some point. It’s just part of the business.
I love your teachings and philosophy on enjoying more of life. Keep up the good work.
Maria
Hi Tim,
Great post. Great video. I really enjoyed it.
Plenty of advice to take away and put into action. I especially like the 80/20 Pareto’s Law flavour of the whole ‘building your online community’. That Pareto’s Law is everywhere! It just makes sense to focus on quality for long term growth, not quantity. You put it so well in your presentation. Very timely for me and my budding website in so many ways. Thank you.
Cheers from Australia,
Chris
p.s. If you’re ever over here and you want to see some of this beautiful country by mountain bike between speaking engagements, let me know. Damn it! Pareto’s Law is even in mountain biking…
Hello Tim
Just wanted to say that your book was a revelation. In part it revealed that I’m well on my way to automating my job without actually having it as my strategy. Now that I’m focused, look out! I “work” about two days a week now, and the rest of the time I spend looking for ways to maximize my cash flow. I have yet to figure out how to get my VA to fly to appointments and close deals, so I consider the flying and the hotels as the “work” part of the job. Minimizing email pain has been a big benefit to reading your advice. I’m not sure that any real problem has ever been solved by exchanging emails.
With all that said… Here’s my question:
Right now I’m looking for my niche (the hard part), I’m learning Weebly, I’m all over evernote, I’m about to put my VA on his/her first significant task to help free up time in my main career. What else would you do, or what would you do next? That’s the question. Can’t thank you enough.
Mike
Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated.
Party On,
Mike
Congrats! My suggestion: read “The Effective Executive” by Peter Drucker.
Duane Allman’s personal philosophy of life was very simple and basic. He once said, “Everything’s the same everywhere. There are nice folks, and ass-holes, and you have to learn to distinguish between the two in order to get by. And someone who’s an ass-hole to somebody may be a nice folk to somebody else, so you’ve got to learn to be nice to everybody, and show everybody respect, that’s the only way people respect you. You’ve got to have mutual respect and a little bit of love, if you can round it up. And don’t be afraid to share what’s inside of you with other people. That’s the only way you’re ever going to get free or have any fun all, either. So just rock on, and have you a good time. If I have a choice between having a good time and a shitty time, I’m going to have me a good time. I’ve had enough shitty times.”
Hey Tim,
Excellent advice, but if you don’t mind, I have some constructive criticism. When you look at your advice on the surface, you seem to come off as quite innocent, and these comments reflect that. The problem I see here is the fact that you presented these in the first place. Although you don’t share their names, the fact that you tell these stories is really just another way at revenge. In other words, you are performing the act of hating yourself. The difference here is that you are being passive-agressive.
Now the methods that these haters use in order to confront you about a problem they have is very immature and infantile, not to mention ineffective in your case. You also have a problem with haters, that’s why you presented these ideas, but just because you take a pleasant and upbeat approach to it does not mean you are any different from them. In other words, you respond by hating passively while they hate actively. Both you and the haters do not attempt to solve the actual problem.
The problem may be a simple misunderstanding or it may be a complete clash of ideologies. Of course you couldn’t possibly respond to every form of criticism out there, and that’s why it makes sense to ignore those that don’t articulate their problem to you in a non-threatening and constructive manner. That being said, I would like to present something to you that should really take a look at.
I read your book and I really liked it. But over the past few years, my understanding of the world has changed a lot. I used to agree with you on the service section about changing one person’s life is all you need to do. The problem I now have with service in the way that you talk about and advocate is that you, once again, approach these problems from single reactive stand point. To make it simpler, you see that certain kids in Vietnam don’t have access to education, so you build a school. You approach the problem reactively and feel that that is all that is needed to become a “good” person. This is like continually giving people cold medication without ever considering why they got a cold in the first place. It is patchwork. Putting a bandaid on a tumor does not get rid of the tumor itself. It’s like if you were to stand up and tell everyone to stop being racist but you completely ignore the source of racism itself. What I’m trying to say is that, although you are very sincere, you’re not actually solving any problems.
You’re probably well aware that the system you preach in the 4HWW is completely unsustainable. The Earth is a closed system, you can’t just have everyone outsource and automate income because the whole infrastructure would collapse. There is some good coming out of your book though, and that is that people don’t want to work. Why would we do a repetitive task when a machine can (or in your system, another human) do it better? Well, it frees us to do bigger and better things.
What I am talking about is The Venus Project. The Venus Project is an actual attempt solve all the world’s problems by restructuring society as a whole. In fact, I can’t believe you haven’s stumbled upon this. The goal is to automate AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE in order to free ALL humans. This is the 4HWW applied intelligently to social design. You’ll find that by producing abundance of all the necessities of life, 90% of all crime will suddenly disappear. In your book you talk about cause snobs. Well, guess what, they are ALL important. Save the whales, save the children, save the Earth. If you attack each one individually, nothing changes. It time to “tear apart conventional assumptions” about social problems and actually work towards a solution.
Why am I telling this to you? Well 1) you are in a position of influence 2) you have the intellectual capacity to understand all of these concepts 3) I’m a big fan of you and know you can change, just like I did.
It is important to note that you should not let your ego affect any of this. Ego is the act of desperately clinging on to an idea that is obsolete. Ego prevents progress. I am not here to prove you wrong or to “win.” I want learn and find the truth. If you actually start channelling your energy into the venus project, you will be working towards real change. You will also be the first celebrity to support this idea. The others don’t support it simply because they don’t actually want to solve problems or give up their status as celebrities. I hope that is not the case with you.
http://www.thevenusproject.com explore and read all the information there. Also watch Zeitgeist: Addendum in google video. It introduces the venus project as a viable solution.
Thank you for your time,
Miguel
I think you have forgotten one single item of importance….human nature.
Tim and many other 4HLers (4 Hour Lifestylers) live in the real world. The real world, where people live off benefits, sell drugs, commit crime, fail eduction, and the alike. In the real world there is corruption, organised crime (Tim knows this after a stint with starting up a gym in the far east), religious wars, and the alike.
Your Venus Project SOUNDS great, but it’s basically communism, which has been proved time and again…..doesn’t work.
As a mental exercise, or even on a small scale with the right people, your theory is brilliant. But in this, the REAL WORLD, you’re just barking like a mad dog.
Tim focussed on what’s effective, efficient, and works. A car that works is much more useful than imagining your car could fly, shoot laser beams, and wear a big red cape.
I always thought the deferred plan was suspicious and did not feel quite right, but you have articulated the whole thing beautifully.
You dropped somewhat of a bombshell at the end of this presentation, without much room for comment. You said that you would not blog for ads in any case.
I have a website that is using solely ads and affiliate marketing to get off the ground, and to test an ebook when traffic builds. I know this does not fit your book exactly, where I should test the ebook first with Adwords. It seems I am learning the hard way, and in fact I have been meaning to ask you your thoughts on Adsense, affiliate programs, and other monetization models for content.
Is this not a viable alternative to selling a product outright? I am guessing the answer is no, but wanted to hear it from you. I am also guessing that more than 20% of your readers are trying to monetize this way since it is so prevalent, but not necessarily correct.
Hi Kenneth,
If you can make it work and do so ethically, go for it! No need to limit yourself to products.
Tim
I thought it was interesting that so few people raised their hands when asked if they had ever dealt with haters. Haters are EVERYWHERE, not just online. (Although the internet does tend to bring them out in droves). And I don’t think they’re limited to the people who come right out and insult you. A lot of times the most dangerous ones are the people who pretend to be your friend, but secretly can’t stand to see you succeed.
Haters are every cynic out there who would rather tear down someone else’s work than build something of their own. So if the people in that audience have truly never dealt with a hater of any kind, they clearly need to get out more 🙂
Thanks for the post, Tim.
I just want to see the haters do their thing in this post.
Just kidding! Great recommendations as always Tim; even better tattoo.
Right on Tim. So it sounds like a decent judge of success is how many people disapprove…actually that might end badly. But you know what I mean. Focusing on your 1000 core fans sounds very 80/20. Just finished reviewing that book by the way and had a fun chat with Richard Koch out in El Algarve, Portugal. I felt like I was having the same epiphanies as you did a few years back! I loved it.
So when are you going to compile your best pieces of negative press for us? Thanks for sharing some so far.
Happy exploring,
Scott
Great Article. So good to be reminded to always move towards what you set out to do with conviction despite skeptics and people who are waiting for you to fail. It reminds us that our inner voice should guide our path always and stand strong in the midst of the chaos created in the world around us.
Thanks for all your ideas on lifestyle design. People like me in the health
care industry could definitely take notes/action.
Take care.
Hi Anna,
That’s awesome! And welcome to Amsterdam. I haven’t outsourced any work yet. Maybe it’s because I’m afraid that work in Dutch is harder to outsource than English work. But I should give it a try.
So far i’ve managed to become self-employed as a consultant. I now work 2 days – not mobile, but in the clients office – and it pays me the same as the 40 our workweek I had when I was a corporate slave.
The last few weeks i spent most of my spare time reading and studying stuff, to increase my value as a consultant. It’s what I enjoy doing, so that’s okay. The upcoming months I will use my spare time to think and design some extra cashflows. That will be exciting too.
The whole thrust of both the video and the comments is a backhanded, ad hominem treatment of anyone who says nasty things about you. But surely if someone says “you’re a scammer” and there’s absolutely no truth to it then wouldn’t it be more productive to refute the claim point by point rather than just diss them as envious?
Heuristic –
I look at the post more as a practical guide to dealing with everything from legit critics to crazy people. (And how to overcome discouragement in your own life that could result from dealing with them.) Surely there are times when the best answer is to simply refute a false claim point by point. (Like for the argument “you’re a scammer”). But like Tim mentioned in the video, other times the best answer is to simply ignore it rather than “pour gasoline on the fire” by responding to it. It all depends on the nature of the claim, the source from which it came, etc.
I wish the Internet was a place where sensational accusations could be put to bed with pure logic, but I think you and I both know that it’s not always the case! How do you logically refute the argument “(your name here) is the Antichrist!”?
This was just the kind of talk I needed, I’ve been really successful lately (not saying to brag) with my own automated businesses and the more I get this success the more I start to get emails from people really getting offended about, well, really small things they blow up to enormous problems. I was really upset about these at the beginning, but as you say, focus on the people who do get it and spend your time on these, it will be much more fulfilling in the end. I’m 22 and when I tell people how I make my money, they don’t even believe it and just assume I’m making it up. That’s a good sign I think. If it’s too good to be true, than I’m really on a roll 😉
Hoped you enjoyed our country and will visit soon again.
Thanks for the post,
Debbie
Thank you Tim!
This is awesome! I make it a policy to NEVER personally reply to the haters that post acid comments on my music/videos. The funny thing is, those trash-talkin haters actually INCREASE the bond between you and your fans! Tim is a ROCK STAR!
Great post. It surprised me how many people are standing in line just waiting to trash anyone who tries to help other people out. You’re right that you just need to be able to concentrate on the positive people whose lives you do change for the better, though being tactical in response to negativity at the right time can make a huge difference.
Great post.
Got me with the tattoo. I hate to say I was rolling my eyes saying oh no he had fell for the everyman’s fashion…
But then you caught me as a hater.
Time to read some stoic lit.
Good video,
Jeff
Hi Tim i tried to contact through Amy but she said u were
hopefully this works
“i am a long time fan and a first time writer”
and have read your book 15 times at least
now that the corniness is over i was wondering if i could get your input on something, a few seconds of your time could same me years
i will try to keep this as short as possible
i am some what of a Jacque Fresco 2.0?ist in training and i just talked with the Jacque for a couple hours 3 days ago in person and being a self studied multidisciplinary rebel futurist on the high of satori i was wondering
what material could you recommend that could help me to catch up or surpass your level or business and internet wisdom in the most efficient and effective way. I learn fast and i don’t want a degree just the wisdom so i can design and apply it in its parameters which i am unaware of the, “D” is for Definition” so to speak.
p.s. i visited brickwork a month back, lol the guy told me that they get 2 calls a day based on your mention of them in the book and he still hasn’t read it.
p.s. #2 i am 21
p.s. #3 you and Jacque Fresco and people i aspire to surpass
p.s. #3 one of my favorite books is called “The Science Of Enlightenment” worth reading if you haven’t thus far i place it up there along with you book.
(ok this is getting too long)
FINAL p.s. contacting you is hard i feel like the students you described in Princeton but this is not my first attempt and i promise it certainly wont be my last.
All the best
&
I’ll see you when i see you
@Dan “And how to overcome discouragement in your own life that could result from dealing with them.”
Well Dan, that’s really easy for me. I don’t give a flying [bleep] what anyone thinks.
@heuristic
lol I see…
That would be a handy skill to have sometimes. I usually err on the other side of things, trying to please everyone all the time. That’s why a post like this is useful to me – so when negative comments or press DO come, I won’t be phased as much by it.
Great post Tim. It made me reflect upon a quote that has given me comfort and power through the years:
“The man who really counts in this world is the doer, not the mere critic – the man who actually does the work, even if roughly and imperfectly, not the man who talks or writes about how it ought to be done.”
— Teddy Roosevelt
Keep up the good work.
Hey Tim,
I love your book and I am currently reading the second edition! I am involved in network marketing and I am constantly dealing with the haters and critics. “Those things never work, thats a pyramid, I tried one of those things before, Good Luck, I hope it works out for you.” I have heard it all but you know what I normally just agree instead of becoming defensive because it gets you no where. Jim Rohn tells the story of reaping and sewing. If you have great seed you have to just keep planting it. The birds will always get some, but you can’t chase the birds because it takes you away from planting the seed! Building wealth is really hard work, if it wasn’t, more people would be rich. Focus on what really matters and forget about the rest. Great article! I am going to use it at my next training.
Brandon
Tim,
I love the post, especially about if you’re doing your job well then 95% of the people will dislike you. Saw a quote recently that was similar to this that said: “When you’re on the field, the opposition only want to tackle the one with the ball!”
Keep running with the ball Tim.
Tim – yo bro, GREAT stuff brutha, very much looking forward to your next book, and, on the note of THIS Blog Post, it is NOW, a few years after rdng 4 Hr Work Week, that my lifestyle design has REALLY come into play.
I wanna thank you, dude, b/c it was a long road but damn dude, sh*t is going awesome now 🙂
Keep Kickin ass, psyched for the new book!
–z–
I’m not a hater – but have you actually *read* #2 above? The sentences make no sense together at all. Maybe English isn’t the first language of the person who wrote it?
I really enjoyed this piece Tim, now I have to get to reading all the comments!
Thank you.
Hey Tim,
So I have noticed that you reply to a fair few comments on your blog. I am both impressed and perplexed. Do you really take the time out of your day to see what people are saying and reply? Or, do you have some sort of clever automated bot system that finds comments that might catch your fancy based on certain criteria and sends them to you. I am just trying to figure out how you do it because there are a lot of comments.
Cheers!
Hi Ryan,
I actually enjoy reading my comments, so it’s me. No auto-magic going on. This is why comments can often sit in moderation for a while. Going through comments doesn’t actually take long, as I have my process down.
Tim
An unrelated question to this article, but I’ve been biting my tongue on it for a while so I just have to ask…
I’ve seen your name misspelled constantly and consistently throughout the Interwebs (“Ferris”). Given your Jedi-mind tricks for combating haters, how much does this seemingly obviously gaffe boil your skin? No, really? 😉
And for context, my last name is habitually butchered too – Gartland. The “T” gets no love, ever. Instead, I’m relegated to chintzy Christmas tinsel. I love American vernacular!
Cheers!
Matt
Hahaha… I’m used to the “Ferris” mistake. Doesn’t bother at this point unless it’s a good friend. They still screw it up sometimes.
Tim
im sorry, maybe its because im blonde, but i just dont get it, tim ferriss has haters?
i only see everything to love, whats wrong with you people?
This a very educational and inspiring article. Bloggers and article writers should learn how to express their writings this way so that their content would be really useful. Anyway, regarding scamming and all kinds of fraud, this content is very useful and straight to the point. Online workers and bloggers should apply this because it will be very useful.
Thank you very much!
Alex
Hi Tim,
I never read one of your books before. It’s the first time I have encountered your blog and I’m afraid that I like it.
I guess, I will buy “The four-hour Workweek”. It seems to be a good DEAL ;-).
How many languages do you speak?
Jan
P.S.:
“Mitleid bekommt man umsonst, Neid muss man sich verdienen” (Robert Lembke)
Tim, I really enjoy your strategies on life. I have been reading the Less Is More book and am really diggin it.
Hey Tim,
Great post (and video) as always.
Try Googling your name: “Tim Ferriss” or “Timothy Ferriss”. Check out the sponsored results.
-Eric
When you are good at something, especially if it’s something that requires taking some sort of action, people are reminded of how inadequate their effort has been. They have to look at (but not address) how mediocre their life is turning out, not because of bad luck, but because of how unwilling they are to take responsibility for their own life. Entitlement in this day and age and for our generation has become an epidemic. I am thankful for this book for not only helping me think outside the box, but for making my “box” that much bigger, making it that much harder to think outside of it.
Tim,
Thank you for analyzing and breaking down this topic and including actionable steps. I find myself being lazy with issues like this and more likely to either avoid dealing with them or to allow them to be an excuse not to do things that I know (or feel) I should do. Your efforts remind me to approach things that I otherwise wouldn’t in a more analytical and mindful way and to have the courage not to despair and give up.
…and yes, I know that sounds like a corny, pre-packaged, infomercial comment haha but it is the truth.
Haterade, anyone? Honestly, some of us love to be hated, Tim, and I am sure you love to take advantage of it. I will keep following you as long as you are a victim of haterade-over-the-head like the winning football coach. [here’s some loving haterade: your site copyright at bottom right should now be 2007-2010]
Dating coach Brent Smith (of David DeAngelo’s DVD’s fame) turned me on to “The Sedona Method” by Hale Dwoskin.
It’s all about “releasing” (‘course it’s slightly more involved than that!).
Immediately applicable and practical self-improvement; 2nd Best self-help book I’ve read in ages!
NATURALLY.. the 1st is the 4HWW.
🙂
[…] we can welcome it as an experience to grow and have a conversation in rather than hiding from the haters. In 2007, Mark Clague posted a group for discussion on using facebook in educational circles and […]
Hey Tim – Don’t know if you’re still in Turkey – And I don’t know if you’ll get this – But there are a few key places in Istanbul that you shouldn’t miss. Before you leave Turkey, I’d love to share a few gems with you – and talk about the Turkish language! Peace, Ian
Hi Tim,
Another great article. Thanks.
I’m sorry this is a bit off topic. But it relates to a previous post of yours about holding your breath.
You-Tube video of world champion freediver – Guillaumenery Nery, free diving at Deans Blue hole. The Deepest blue hole in the world.
Pretty awesome. I think you will like it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQITWbAaDx0
Tim! This post made me so happy I could cry! It reminded me a lot of what I heard John McAfee (founder of McAfee) say at a college graduation speech a few years ago. Great minds do think alike.
And how is it you pull the most appropriate quotes out of your hat like that?
Thanks a lot for a great post and for reminding all of us to focus and ignore the naysayers.
I’m going to go lay down on the street now…
Hey,
i just wanted to ask because on some level i feel a sympathy towards haters and feel leaving them off isn’t good enough, that it’s not doing anything towards them personally, that i need to teach them to stop hating or they will keep going.
i would wish though to influence them yet it’s so so so hard to change opinion without it being seen as forced upon.
i know this seems like a question to be debated through faith/philosophy but what’s your insight or own thought (personal answer) on should i follow and help these haters or do you think it’s a waste?
Tim,
My sincere thanks for this post and video. With the plethora of info on the web, it’s rare when information hits you at the exact right time. In this case, it did. As a first time author, I, too, have felt the wounds those 1-star reviews can have on your mental state. And worse, I let that acid suck the energy from me that should have been spent on the people the book has helped. A battle that I’m continuing to work through but hearing your experience has truly given me a clearer outlook.
Keep up the great work brother,
corey
So true! Luckily I don’t have too many haters, but there are definitely a few who struggle to understand the Ultimate Lifestyle philosophy of living and continuously try to reinforce the current status quo. Bless them! 😉
Hey Tim,
Great message, and something everyone can identify with. Even if someone doesn’t have their own blog, if they’ve spent a few days on the internet, they’ve almost certainly come across a troll.
Your message reminds me of a Joe Polish genius interview with Ryan Lee. I think it was Ryan who said he was told by a very successful marketer that he’d much rather have 50% of people love him and 50% of people hate his guts than having 100% of people just think he’s OK. Ryan went on to tell a story about when he was on a plane once, and this mother of 2 small children was sitting a few seats behind them. She asked the man sitting next to them if he would switch with her so that she could be with her kids. He looked back, and said “No, I don’t want to sit in the middle seat”. Ryan told the guy that he would switch with the man, and then switch with the mom, so that she could be with her kids. He felt great about what he did, and posted it on his blog. He definitely had a lot of good responses, but one lady wrote him an email basically bitching him out for being sexist and degrading her by not letting her deal with it herself. I think in Ryan’s words he said you’d have thought he killed one of her family members it was so bad.
The point he wanted to make was that no matter how good you believe the things you are doing are, there will always be someone out there who won’t agree with you.
Thanks again, great video! (By the way, loved your interview with Joe Polish as well!)
Thanks,
Paul
Tim, This past weekend I did something I have never done before. I swam in a 2.4 mile open water swim competition in Charleston, SC. Prior to this past weekend, I had swum (swam?) in open water only once before. I had trained in a pool up to a mile. I swam with my best friend and we finished within a minute of each other. My wife and two year old daughter were there to meet me at the finish. Not a bad way to start the our eleventh wedding anniversary. A year ago I would have thought I could not possibly have completed such a swim. Thanks to Total Immersion (when it comes to swimming) and your inspiration, I am really excited to find out what other things I can do that I never thought I could. This will be an amazing year.
Congratulations, Charlie! That is a huge accomplishment!
Tim
Absolutely brilliant!!!
It’s all about me and my whole life being just myself, standing up for what is right and not being accepted by most of “others”. Unfortunately I didn’t make the best of it and it brought me sorrows.
[…] than a year ago but I never focused on all the stuff about lifestyle design (his blog is even named Experiments in Lifestyle Design). For me lifestyle design was something I was already doing. I was (still am) living in a tiny […]
Hi Tim,
I am new to internet marketing, just having started in January of this year. One of the first resources that I was introduced to was your book. I took it and found it a fascinating read! Thanks for your efforts in giving us this great book, I realize that publishing time consuming and a difficult field. I am glad that someone took the chance to publish it! I found that the lifestyle that you outlined in the book was just what I was looking to achieve but had never hear of anyone having these ideas in print before getting the copy of “The 4 Hour Workweek”.
I just watched your video on how to deal with “haters”. Being new in the IM world my blog has not generated any harsh critics but I am sure that one day someone will post something negative and I will know now how to deal with it from the advice that you just given.
Thanks for all your help and advice. I will visit your blog often!
All the best to you,
Alice
Hallo there,
first of all really nice job man. It’s my first comment ever and I’d like to take the opportunity and congratulate you for your book, your blog, but most of all for the way you stand in life.
Although I never left any hate-mail / voice mail / any other hate-communication to you, I was a “hater”. Meaning that the first time I read your book, I really wanted to punch you… But anyways, later on I realized that was just my mental horizons broadening and maybe it hit on my nerves a little bit. (the punching thing left out of my mind though) 😉
I admit I still haven’t managed to see your point of you in everything you write or say. And that’s why I need an opinion on something (everybody else is welcome to comment on this guys, I really need third party opinions) –
I’m posting to solve a problem of mine (yeah, yeah, I’m an altruist). I understand this might seem a very “baby problem” to everyone, but to me it’s like having a mountain on my chest!!
So, unlike Tim suggests, I work a lot of hours in a day. Only, I don’t see it like that (work). I do like my lifestyle. I do like what I’m studying right now, and I can’t imagine waking up one day and not do what I do now – that is reading books about penal theory and studying music (well That has been stalled for a couple of months, but what the heq? I’ll be back)
Being in the midst of my studies I am through major critical workload at least three to four times a year. I enjoy it because I really learn a lot about things I always wanted, and sometimes I feel grateful for things that I get to read and people I get to meet.
Doing mostly what I adore, I don’t mind about what other people think of that. But that does not go to ALL people. There are people I adore and love and respect in my life. Now, here’s my question:
How do you treat a person close to you, I mean really close to you, when he/she doesn’t get it? When you have real hard evidence of their love (like funding your undesirable activities -and not being rich-) how do you treat them?
Is a person close to me to be treated like a Hater?
Is a person close to me to be treated like he/she just doesn’t get it?
For the most part, that’s what these persons (now, I got a lot of these in my environment – just for the record – yeah, this is breaking rule number 1 guys, I know) behave like lately.
Constant diminishing and criticism not only (and not always) for what I do, but for who I am or how I behave, at times I most need my piece of mind (examns, papers, presentations).
Little things can become living hell. Like I don’t pick up the phone at once or if I get really excited about something they don’t like/understand and boom: you got their contempt and anger.
Like I said, it usually doesn’t get into me, but spending a lot of hours indoors has a major effect: I get to see the same people over and over again. I do try to get out and meet new people, and I succeed, but generally there are always a couple of people that are really close to me and I love them the last couple of years. So, being around THEIR negative energy makes me reactive, emotionally and really messes up my psychology.
I don’t know if the above make any sense at all, but I’m in a dead-end. The reason I need third party opinions here, is that I’m so emotionally invested in the persons around me, that I can’t seem to get a clear view on how and where to categorize them, so I could immediately know how to treat them!
Hell, I don’t even know if the problem is in my behavior or in theirs!
So, if anybody (especially Tim!) has any idea on how to work this problem out, keep posting! Anything actionable and understandable (from the viewpoint of a 5year old) will do 😀
Thank you for your time.
Thanks for the comment, Spyridon. Just my quick thoughts: even if they do certain things that seem to reflect love (financing your projects), if they are directing anger and contempt at you for little things (or unreasonably and often), they do not truly love you for who you are. Since you are the average of the 5 or so people you associate with most, I would suggest you need to find a new peer group to replace these people. Simple — and as gut-wrenchingly hard, often — as that.
Hope that helps!
Tim
Too much time is given to the snipers of this world- too quick to shatter dreams and share disillusion.
My Fiancée and I both experienced it when we got engaged.
Getting engaged at 22 conjures up all manner of responses- from the pleased-as-punch golly goshes of friends to the somber warnings from the second wives and newly divorced.
We amassed a (very) small fortune last year (penny pinching here, robbing Peter to pay Paul there) but found the merry-go-round of Wedding Fayres and extravagant hotel reception conveyor belts leaching our funds and our romance. Instead, we bought round-the-world tickets (an early honeymoon, if you like) and saw places we’d only ever dreamed of and felt alive and young and free.
We have decided that when we do get hitched it will be an impromptu, haphazard affair of our favourite things (pakoras and tinned fruit salad next to a hog roast and champagne) with no critics of pessimists allowed- too much time is given to the snipers of this world- too quick to shatter dreams and share disillusion. But for those in love, looking, or hopeful- a glass of champagne will be waiting for you.
AJ
I would like to ask a sort of crazy question here: When does it make sense to
use violence to silence a hater?
This may not mean killing a person. It might just mean threatening a person, grabbing a person by the collar, or smacking a person.
I think sometimes that ignoring a person may not be enough. Sometimes the only way to get certain people to restrain themselves is for you to restrain them. Violence should not be underestimated.
Hi Tim, readers, haters 🙂
I’m currently running my own business plan in affiliate marketing (see link), but, since money is not streaming in yet, am concerned about the ‘minimize your current job’ bit you rant about in your (audio) book.
In my day-to-day work I work in a team of web developers AND take care of internal and external web servers. A job which, sadly, keeps me in the office 40 hours a week.
My team members highly value direct and immediate response to inquiries, be it domain name changes (DNS), small website changes which have to be done directly and, yes, social contacts.
How CAN I minimize attendance at work, when I am required to be there?
Stats:
– I have a daily commute of about an hour back and forth to work
– Then have an required attendance of about 8.5 hours (including lunch)
– I get paid nearly enough to support my wife and kid (turning 2 in a month)
I tried working from home a few times, but my boss does not want me to make it a habit, due to social interaction woes.
Please advice, thanks!
You’ve provided some excellent food for thought, I’m especially fond of George Herbert’s quote.
Meoow
Hi Tim
your book is a breath of fresh air. Its nice to know their are others out there.
I dropped out of my architecture course and will be turning 22 on july 30th
(lol fun fact i have the same birthday as binladin lol found out a week ago )
i visited Brickwork in Bangalore after reading your book to do first hand research and i just have one thing that i really need to know
if i have absolutely no computer or business background and my computer savvy is probably outdated since i have been living in isolation without tv, family, and on a budget of 5 dollars a day living out of choice to get my priorities in order and gain perspective on my life who I am which I am glad to say I have with 99.999% clarity the what I want changes but the big picture life purpose goals are there.
If i wanted to catch up with the business and computer world at the level of literacy you have and didn’t want to get a degree unless it was completely necessary what would be the most 80/20 path to follow according to your perception looking back
I ask because i will be going back to the U.S. and embarking on my financial adventure i will be throwing myself into NY with 1.1k enough for two months according to a design i experimented with in my last lifestyle design experiment which now i have refined and fine-tuned and in that time i will either have to sink or swim, I have no family support I cut them off 2 years ago. people call me crazy when I told them the 1st time, but i did it for my 20th bday on my own and did exceptional but with the money part this time their is no going back and i just don’t see myself as ever getting a job unless its renting an apartment in Manhattan and using mystery method mechanics along with business marketing DHV’s and all sorts of neat things put into the delivery of the design to meet 10’s and 9s and selectively give them a business card for a introductory meditation class which i offer free and then conveying enough to trigger attraction to the point where she signs up for a course designed by me which encompass my areas of interest meditation/philosophy/massage and have women in rotation who are programmed to get addicted and keep coming back i planned it all out down to the 30% buffer in your book. But i can only do that 4 hours a day 4 days a week max with 100 to 200 dollars an hour ill be fine but with the rest of my time i would really love to explore the business world and have business like the one’s you talk about in your book running while I take a stab at MMA workout, aikido, becoming an exceptional chef and building a truly amazing life , and you know flying around the world extreme sports multiple languages and architecting a structure to teach 365 orphan babies through a philosophy that rivals and combines the greatest wisdom in all fields into a dynamic equilibrium organic architectural system to turn them into geniuses who will hopefully if they please do the same, and then….. I might give some thought to marriage at 60
…… you know all that etc…. stuff… i am lacking confidence sorry to say and i could be a millionare but i dont want millions i just want to live the type of live you have and then some
“Hater,” in the illustrious yet oft-demented mind-set of this Disgruntled Old Coot, is a term used by the ill-educated unwashed masses as a descriptor for anybody who disagrees with their subjective personal opinion.
Often unable to back up their opinion with logical rational thought-out argument the knee-jerk rhetorical proclamation that someone disagreeing with them is a “hater” is an easy inane slovenly method of using emotion to deal with the hater-term-using buffoon’s intellectual superior… of which there is typically a multitude.
“Whenever you hate someone, they own you. They own your thoughts and they own your actions by the mere fact you are thinking of them and reacting.” – something I learnt from Sean Stephenson.
The flip side is that if anyone hates you, learn to feel good about it. The only two reasons I have found that people can hate you for is jealousy and/or they feel threatened – their beliefs/ego feels threatened or they could be threatened by your presence or influence. If it isn’t hatred, its simply they find it annoying (two very different things – we all know a person we find annoying but don’t “hate”)
Learn to love your haters to prevent yourself from being owned.
(that was an awesome talk by the way 😉
Daiyaan
Hi Tim,
I first came across you about two years ago while searching ways to make money from home. I started following your blog for a short time, sadly, I didn’t keep it up. I did, however, stay tuned into Jango for my musical pleasure. Thanks much for that random show tip. 😉
Anyhow, I want to thank you for sharing your knowledge and experiences about blogging and haters. I am in the midst of putting together my blog style site for the first time, yes, behind the curve of many I know! It has taken me a long time to have a vision and focus for a blog that I am comfortable with. Having a blog is presenting oneself to the world, it is very personal and very public all at the same time! I admire how you have managed to find your balance within all of that.
I also wanted to note that your quickly spoken comment during the presentation about how you do not start your day reading your email because that would be allowing others to dictate how you spend your day, was very enlightening for me. I foolishly do this everyday and then wonder where my day has gone?! So starting tomorrow my morning coffee will not be consumed in front of my computer while grazing my messages. I will take my coffee to the garden, make my list for the day and follow that with a run before I flip my lid – laptop lid that is!
Awesome stuff, Tim. I will be back to absorb more of your wisdom often.
Thank you for being you!
🙂
– Tim
Tim, I’ve just found your blog and I am reading your book now. I am also in the Bay Area and look forward to attending one of your events sometime. I spent some time learning Muay Thai when I was a bit younger and currently train in Aikido for about the last 7 years. I look forward to learning from you at your blog.
Tim – I think my case study around this time next year will be the best one to date by far. No lie. Ever since I watched your speech on haters, I couldn’t help but think how the biggest haters in my world right now are those that I know the best. I’m only 25, so they are the people that knew me when I was a drunk 18 year old college kid, or the people I grew up with. It’s like they don’t want to see a grown up version of me, so they attack what I feel are positive things I’m doing. It pushes me further and further from my hometown and the friends I grew up with. Just thought I’d throw that out there. Never thought my biggest detractors would be those I know best. Thanks for everything you do. Much love from Denver ~Adam
I look forward to your case study this time next year! Just keep positive and keep your eye on the ball. You’ll get there.
Tim
Wonderful – I always say surround yourself with positive people and ignore the rest; well at least ignore their comments and keep them out of your personal life.
My current place of employment is full of them, and they’re everywhere out in the big wide world too. Thankfully this has led me to start my own consulting business, which helped me to find Tim’s book.
Thank you
…runs up to tim ferris at party…opens flip phone camera and says
‘so tim, how does it feel being a happy chappy who has written a totally awesome book that encourages people to enjoy life, I mean, er, like, do you wake up with a grin on your face and have a spring in your step ?’
Thanks Tim for that great post. It’s always good to hear. Yesterday I had two people unsubscribe from my newsletter in a slightly rude way. However I have had hundreds of positive feedback about that very same newsletter and two more people signed up that same day. its about realising that some people will be haters but forget about them and keep doing a great job!
I am very impressed, that you answer your comments!
Chapeau, Tim!
Small passionate communities are now sprouting around the country advocating and suggesting that our fancy Vibram Five Fingers Shoes and our everyday shoes in general are not healthy for us. Whereas many of Vibram shoes claim to help you avoid different foot injuries and offer foot and ankle support to “bring your game to the next level.” These communities suggest that it’s actually these shoes that are the source of all our foot pain and injuries. What do they suggest instead of these shoes? Simply not wearing shoes or in other words just going barefoot.
Looking at our ancestors and how humans developed as a species is one-approach scientists have looked at how shoes have affected our lives (and why going barefoot might be a valid alternative). Dr. Rossi, a prominent podiatrist and foot expert, in a 1999 article in the scientific journal Podiatry Management made the case for going barefoot by writing:
“Five Fingers took 4 million years to develop our unique human foot and our consequent distinctive form of walk, a remarkable feat of bioengineering. Yet, in only a few thousand years, and with one carelessly designed instrument, our shoes, we have warped the pure anatomical form of human walk, obstructing its engineering efficiency, afflicting it with strains and stresses and denying it its natural grace of form and ease of movement head to foot.”
I love your stuff but have never commented…pls work on the delts considering your book will be out soon. Otherwise, looking good….You have changed my life. Be good T
whenever you shake up the status quo– they bite–and sometimes they kill you. That’s after they discredit you. Nice work––you expand my mind.
Hello
I want KNOW YOU
Hello
I want to make friends with you
OK?
Hi Tim,
I’m an expert in the field of ‘identity’ and I write articles for magazines and newspapers. Once I wrote an article on regional identity, explaining how it’s rather constructed than something you’re born with. Although this view is generally held by scientists, it seems to keep bugging some people. They were very agitated and went on to say how wrong I was.
Why would they respond so emotionally to a this article? Would they respond the same if I’d written an article on bonsai cultivation? Nah, it all comes down to this:
I challenged their identity.
These agitated readers, many hailing from peripheral areas, are always taught to be proud of their regional identity. “And now this guy comes and tells me that my identity is not real! That’s not what I wanted to hear!”
Tim, most of our respectively haters are very alike. Think about it. Imagine someone who is living the deferred life plan. His parents and society taught him working a boring job for 30-40 years is the right thing to do. And then there’s you, telling the world you don’t have to work hard for a living. Even worse: you prove him wrong by living the life of the New Rich.
No wonder he gets a little anxious… Because: if the deferred life plan turns out to be a lie, then what else is false?
Tim, I’m dismayed that I had never found your blog before today. You’ve definitely got your head screwed on tight! Great blog!
Tim:
This was awesome and SO what I needed to hear today. I write a blog about foreclosure and related legal issues, and recently there seem to be a lot more people showing up as haters while the blog’s reach continues to grow.
My favorites are the people who just want to hate and their comments lack any sort of logical basis for being there other than being angry because I expressed an opinion. I have been feeling the sting from these nasty comments lately and it has been a distraction, but I’m ready to move on after reading/watching this post.
I appreciate the signpost on my journey!
Christine
Hey Tim
Love your perspective and look forward to learning more and more from your approach to life.
Not sure if this kinda thing matters to you but I noticed this other blogger sorta using your content on her site…guess you inspired her.
http://kandeethemakeupartist.blogspot.com/2010/07/7-tips-to-deal-with-haters.html
Amazing, I’ve watched this video of your talk about thirty times since it came out. I frequently run into situations which remind me of some part of the talk, and I keep getting new insights and applications from it every time. It has added more value to my life than almost any blog post I can think of anywhere. Words cannot describe my heartfelt gratitude, but thank you. I’m going to be checking your blog for a long time to come.
It’s completely true that one of the major keys to success is in avoiding distractions and getting focused, but I never thought of negative people in that light. Yet, the people we surround ourselves with can be one of if not the greatest influence on our lives, and correspondingly the greatest distraction in the negative case. Yes, the TV and internet etc. can slow us down and dilute our power, but they are passive mediums. They’re distractions, but we probably won’t spend much of the day thinking about them. However, a strong negative person or two in our lives can waste so much of our time and energy. That is why this topic is very very important in unlocking a lot of untapped potential out there.
Don’t waste your time apologizing for your principles. The people who care about you won’t need an apology, and the people who don’t care about you won’t believe your apology anyway.
That is a helpful list. I have a bit of a struggle overcoming those issues as well. Kudos for quoting Epictetus.