Brute force seldom works with haters. Redirection does. (Photo: Deadstar 2.0)
I recently spent a week in Amsterdam enjoying bicycles, canals, Queensday, and… ahem… coffee shops. For real. Honest. The best coffee I’ve had in Europe has to be De Koffie Salon.
I also gave a short keynote at The NextWeb about how to deal with haters, protect yourself from (some) media, respond to FlipCams, and other personal branding self-defense 101.
Think you have crazy people contacting you or commenting on your blog? Me too. I share some of my favorite hater e-mails, Amazon reviews, and voicemails. It’ll make you feel better to hear the stories.
It is possible to learn to love haters. But it does take some know-how and tactical planning…
I elaborated on a few points in an interview in the Netherlands with Amy-Mae Elliot, who originally posted them on Mashable in her piece Tim Ferriss: 7 Great Principles for Dealing with Haters:
1. It doesn’t matter how many people don’t get it. What matters is how many people do.
“It’s critical in social media, as in life, to have a clear objective and not to lose sight of that,” Ferriss says. He argues that if your objective is to do the greatest good for the greatest number of people or to change the world in some small way (be it through a product or service), you only need to pick your first 1,000 fans — and carefully. “As long as you’re accomplishing your objectives, that 1,000 will lead to a cascading effect,” Ferriss explains. “The 10 million that don’t get it don’t matter.”
2. 10% of people will find a way to take anything personally. Expect it.
“People are least productive in reactive mode,” Ferriss states, before explaining that if you are expecting resistance and attackers, you can choose your response in advance, as opposed to reacting inappropriately. This, Ferriss says, will only multiply the problem. “Online, I see people committing ’social media suicide’ all the time by one of two ways. Firstly by responding to all criticism, meaning you’re never going to find time to complete important milestones of your own, and by responding to things that don’t warrant a response.” This, says Ferriss, lends more credibility by driving traffic.
3. “Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity.” (Colin Powell)
“If you treat everyone the same and respond to everyone by apologizing or agreeing, you’re not going to be recognizing the best performers, and you’re not going to be improving the worst performers,” Ferriss says. “That guarantees you’ll get more behavior you don’t want and less you do.” That doesn’t mean never respond, Ferriss goes on to say, but be “tactical and strategic” when you do.
4. “If you are really effective at what you do, 95% of the things said about you will be negative.” (Scott Boras)
“This principle goes hand-in-hand with number two,” Ferriss says. “I actually keep this quote in my wallet because it is a reminder that the best people in almost any field are almost always the people who get the most criticism.” The bigger your impact, explains Ferriss (whose book is a New York Times, WSJ and BusinessWeek bestseller), and the larger the ambition and scale of your project, the more negativity you’ll encounter. Ferriss jokes he has haters “in about 35 languages.”
5. “If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” (Epictetus)
“Another way to phrase this is through a more recent quote from Elbert Hubbard,” Ferriss says. “‘To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” Ferriss, who holds a Guinness World Record for the most consecutive tango spins, says he has learned to enjoy criticism over the years. Ferriss, using Roman philosophy to expand on his point, says: “Cato, who Seneca believed to be the perfect stoic, practiced this by wearing darker robes than was customary and by wearing no tunic. He expected to be ridiculed and he was, he did this to train himself to only be ashamed of those things that are truly worth being ashamed of. To do anything remotely interesting you need to train yourself to be effective at dealing with, responding to, even enjoying criticism… In fact, I would take the quote a step further and encourage people to actively pursue being thought foolish and stupid.”
6. “Living well is the best revenge.” (George Herbert)
“The best way to counter-attack a hater is to make it blatantly obvious that their attack has had no impact on you,” Ferriss advises. “That, and [show] how much fun you’re having!” Ferriss goes on to say that the best revenge is letting haters continue to live with their own resentment and anger, which most of the time has nothing to do with you in particular. “If a vessel contains acid and you pour some on an object, it’s still the vessel that sustains the most damage,” Ferriss says. “Don’t get angry, don’t get even — focus on living well and that will eat at them more than anything you can do.”
7. Keep calm and carry on.
The slogan “Keep Calm and Carry On” was originally produced by the British government during the Second World War as a propaganda message to comfort people in the face of Nazi invasion. Ferriss takes the message and applies it to today’s world. “Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,” Ferriss concludes. “Keep calm and carry on!”
Afterword
One of my favorite authors, Nassim N. Taleb of Black Swan fame, e-mailed me the following aphorism today, which was perfect timing and perfectly put:
Robustness is when you care more about the few who like your work than the multitude who hates it (artists); fragility is when you care more about the few who hate your work than the multitude who loves it (politicians).
Choose to be robust.
The Tim Ferriss Show is one of the most popular podcasts in the world with more than one billion downloads. It has been selected for "Best of Apple Podcasts" three times, it is often the #1 interview podcast across all of Apple Podcasts, and it's been ranked #1 out of 400,000+ podcasts on many occasions. To listen to any of the past episodes for free, check out this page.
Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you’re rude, we’ll delete your stuff. Please do not put your URL in the comment text and please use your PERSONAL name or initials and not your business name, as the latter comes off like spam. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation! (Thanks to Brian Oberkirch for the inspiration.)
How come no one laughed in the video?
Europeans are pretty quiet at this type of stuff. Not as quiet as Japanese, but quite reserved compared to Yanks. The last day was a little looser and had more laughs all around.
Or maybe I’m just not funny? Could be 🙂
Tim
I just found your website through a twitter feed. Wow! Great presentation! Will buy the book for sure and the read the books you suggested.
God Bless
As a blogger, I can really relate to this and cannot wait to show the world a new way (or your way, just with a little more of my own flava),
I’ve always written and had good responses when I felt really really positive, but I’ve never even tried when I was really really negative. That’s because I always feel amazing – that’s what I thought.
But the truth is, there are times when I feel extremely annoyed (in general, about those who judge and label and compare) and however brief, when I am annoyed it’s pretty intense – and I lacked the awareness to see the opportunity there to turn that annoyance into value.
“Now I know, and knowing is half the battle – G.I. Joe” – haha.
Tim, if I was a girl I would want to have your baby.
Buahahahahaha… well, I am still looking for the right woman. I appreciate the sentiment 🙂
Tim
Hi Tim,
Thanks for this post. The amount of unpleasantness I feel around criticism has led me to stay 90% smaller than I could be. I’m still feeling into how much I want to adjust my skills at dealing with criticism vs. just living successfully in my own anonymous pocket. I’m a big believer in sustainability, beginning with relationships: If a relationship does not give both people more well-being than it takes and is not supporting one of my deeper values I end it. I’ve written six books but limited publicity so that mostly friends know about them (most of my books were written with friends in mind). One of them is an intricate analysis of relationship chemistry. If you’d like a free copy of it (I won’t mention the title since you may have some guideline about advertising and besides someone else might read it and complain about it [smile]) I can e-mail you a PDF or send you an amazon link.
I think I read about your enjoyment of Thailand. Thailand is my favorite country right now so I wrote one free book for Thai women to help them better date Farang and another for Farang to be more respectful and successful with Thais. I give the book to Thai women before dating them as a screening device to insure win/win. The one I think you might enjoy is more analytical and focused on an outline of all the variables I’ve observed in chemistry and how to mix those for desired results. I love a lot of the business greats, including Drucker and aspire to a world in which realtionships and well-being are as passionately engineered as the best run companies and scientific missions of today.
Best,
Dane
Your timing is prime. I am on my way to Hong Kong to explore an outlandish business venture. My chances for success are slim, but there is no way I can sit idle and wonder.
Enjoy every sandwich.
Cheers-
Everyone can determine their own definition of happiness. The energy required to generate “Hate” toward anyone or anything can be put to much greater uses. Life is either positive or negative. It is truly your choice. That is the lesson of the book and blog. Your life at this point is the sum of all the choices you have made and when some people face that realization they can not handle the state of their reality and hate is the result. Continue to live a big life and continue leading by example.
So i never make comments but this one is right up my ally. i’ve been testing people my whole life and when i wear silver shoes or funny hats, it’s not so much to gain attention but to weed out where i want attention from. I figure if someone has something bad to say about my attire they’re not worth my time or explanation, but those who are attracted to it in some weird way are somehow on my level of openness, which i am also attracted to. i’ve been lucky to be confident enough to take the hits to find the better my whole life, and i would recommend for people who dont have this confidence to find it and find it fast.
regards,
gary
Excellent Tim! Who cares about the minority of people that slander and just don’t get it? Use it as fuel to catapult yourself further into your venture or drive you to reach even more people. I like the Wayne Dyer metaphor with the orange. “Whatever is in the orange will come out when squeezed”. In other words, when someone pushes your buttons, if hate, stress, etc. is on the inside, it will come out. Being at peace with what you do and knowing you have value to add will ensure nothing but a good response when “squeezed” and may even help us look objectively at ourselves when we do encounter criticism. That’s the theory anyway. (I’m still practicing) Imagine if you only changed ONE person’s life and he/she was able to spend more time with their family because of it and no one else “got it”. Wouldn’t it still be worth it? Sure it would.
Great video. And the tattoo stunt was hilarious. I read your book when it came out, and then the updated edition as well. Totally changed my perspective about what I’m trying to achieve in my business. Thank you.
LOL, nice fake tattoo sleeve! In true Tim Ferriss style.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/silvertje/4562885664/sizes/l/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/silvertje/4562255375/sizes/l/
I somehow have a feeling that it relates to the topic of your talk…hmmm.
It was a great talk by the way. Great actionable tips that can be used in daily life. Thanks Tim!
Hey Tim,
Will you be doing a post on how your experiment with advertising on your blog is going?
Hi Chris,
I hope to soon. Need more data first!
Tim
Tim
People who react to your (our) actions or words are really just expressing their own reasons for not having the strength to do it themselves
Far too often, those who react and critize others do so, because deep down inside, they desire to do whatever it is that you are doing. That feeling of I want to do this but am scared shitless to do it. The four hour work week, really upset, the workplace establishment.
There are people who desire to have your richness in time but fear it. They say what will I do with all that time. Sometimes people are just afraid to let go of the self they have made in a particular job. Their self image is wrapped around the comort of knowing who they are in relation to their employment. They fear unlearning how to be their real self. Afraid to let go of their medicore and fearful life.
Haters in the end I take are just verifying that we are doing something right. In drama school we were told publicity is publicity is publicity. It is when there is no reaction that we need to worry.
Great video and post.
Tim,
Thanks for the wonderful post!.
I have a question for you and that’s related to you answer about what to write about.
I also write -most of the times- about what I’m passionate at! I’ve written tons of post -some of them cool, from my point of view but I don’t get lots of readers.
So, do you think you need to be ‘known’ to become a know blogger or, can you become known -not famous, but read- just by a blog?
I’ve been ‘blogging’ since 1997 -when the word wasn’t even invented- but, nonetheless, I cannot get that much attention.
Is there anything I can do to get more readers? -I don’t care that much either since I write for myself, to keep on living, hut it’ll be nice!-
Thank you again for helping me so much with the book and the blog! I’m looking forward the new book and the new edition -which I will get as a birthday present-, and, one last thing: Is there any way to stop the addiction to fivevingers? 🙂
I just posted a note regarding Haters on my Facebook page because a lot of my fans were asking about how I deal with them. I’m an MMA fighter, Actor & security certifier who holds 2 World titles, 4 other titles and train & provide some of the top bodyguards on the planet. I alwasy say just consider your source when dealing with Haters and remember that their main objective is to hopefully get into your head to waste your time. Also, anyone who would listen to a Hater and try to repeat what that Hater has voiced about you is also a Hater so ignore the ignorant. Haters are little bugs that you may need to simply brush off at times. No one will ever respect or like a Hater & they know it and they just fills them more with hate. Feel sorry for the pathetic Hater who has to spend his day drinking “Haterade” & hoping that someone will pay attention to the diarrhea that he’s slidding from his (or her) tongue. Furthermore, still keep your basic awareness tight becasue some Haters can be so full of hate that they may attempt something where you may need to deal with them accordingly! The Haterism in my area has gotten so bad that I designed a course called “Andre’s HaterProof” that teaches young women & men how to mentally and physically deal with Haters. Remember that success breeds enemies so if you don’t want enemies, don’t be successful!
Hey Tim, great post. Great video. Probably one of the best you have ever posted. Watched it like I was watching a movie.
On a different note. I like your blog, but still I haven’t read T4HWW. The only reason is it is not available in India. I searched in all the local shops and also ordered in some, but couldn’t get a copy. Any suggestion how can I read the book?
Someday I hope to have as many haters as you. 35 languages that’s impressive
Fuck you Tim Ferriss! You’re a sham and a scam and a sham and a scam and a sham and a scam!
I’m going to keep my uptight, 8 hour day, miserable lifestyle and finally retire at age 70 and you can screw your four hour work week because I lack the brain cells to understand half of it (*sob*).
Sincerely, a hater 🙂
[…] Here’s the entire article (with video). […]
Hi Tim,
my name is also Tim. I like your book, blog and ideas. However I am quite upset about the comment by “Tim Feriss” in my blog.
Best Regards,
Tim Fredriksson
Hi Tim,
I’m not sure who that Tim Feriss is. Wasn’t me. If that’s link baiting, clever. But if so, please don’t do it.
Tim
Thank you, as always, for a thought provoking post. I almost always find a reference in your posts to something to read, watch, or think about that is of value to me. Much of the time those references come from the comments, so really, thank you commenters who take the time to elaborate in a thoughtful and productive manner on the subject at hand.
Great talk Tim. I really like the simplicity of your points. Our society tends to make things so much more complicated than they actually are. We should focus more on how we can actually stick to these points – that’s were the real challenge for us humans is.
I had to laugh about the quietness of the audience – very (northern) European indeed! I am German (living in the US) and think it would have been even more “orderly” in Germany :0).
super awesome, very informative and on a very useful topic, thanks Tim!
Tim… Number 3 is spot on. A CEO of a Fortune 100 company once shared me a 2,000 year old story on this theme. His message, You cannot Get 100% of the People On board 100% of the time. For example he said, look at Jesus Christ…. even amongst his top 12 followers he still had trouble with that Bloke Iscariot. Let me know when we will next see you downunder! Bill Lang
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(Re: your comment response to Ivo)
What tattoo?
Haters are part of life, but I take solace in the comforting words of the great Dave Chappelle:
Haters wanna hate,
Lovers wanna love,
I don’t even want,
None of the above,
I want to piss on you.
Yes I do, I’ll piss on you,
I’ll pee on you.
Keep rockin Tim 🙂
I could feel this post coming… 🙂
Glad to see you are able to ride the critical waves Tim. As a 99%er, I think it is perfect timing to post and say thanks for your inspiration.
I have to give you some serious credit for motivating me in some very positive ways. Thanks to your inspiration, I have created a pretty decent website and will be embarking on a trip around the world in 2011.
Thanks for posting this, Tim. I’m a university student and get a surprising amount of criticism for standing out by having a passion and goals–despite that I try to downplay it in certain contexts. It has certainly conditioned me to develop internalized critics; something I think a lot of people who care about what they do have to deal with. I’m getting much better at dealing with critics (internalized and external) but I really appreciate this post not only because it’s something I can rarely identify with people about, but also because you suggest actionable solutions.
Also, you may have read him but I think you’d really, really enjoy John Dewey’s work (pragmatist philosopher largely concerned with education). I think Dewey is to contemporary philosophy as Seneca was to ancient–focused on the practical connection of philosophy to action. I’m beginning work on a thesis that will explore actionability in pragmatist philosophy, eventually ending with the development of program aimed to equip (especially underprivileged) students with the basic cognitive tool set that seems to be common across every field (i.e., basic understanding of logic, language, asking good questions, motivation, theory of knowledge, etc). Anyway, a statement by Dewey on his approach:
“This is […] a first rate test of the value of any philosophy which is offered us: Does it end in conclusions which, when they are referred back to ordinary life experience and their predicaments, render them more significant, more luminous to us, and make our dealings more fruitful?”
-John Dewey, “Experience and Nature”
Tim, great talk. I started my entrepreneurial craziness as a freshmen, in high school. I’m now a senior and graduating soon, but over those four years I’ve been slowly learning everything you spoke about and can relate to it all personally, although would have loved to just be able to hear you speak four years ago. My favourite saying on success is “Prepare to be misunderstood” I first heard it from an interview on PBS with amazon’s CEO. In high school it has been especially poignant since students aren’t supposed to start business and work for themselves. I also tend to wear different shoes from the norm (no vibrams yet, soon though) and at first I’ve always gotten weird looks then you get the first person to get the similar shoes then the next follower and six months later they’re common, it’s crazy.
Something I’m surprised you didn’t mention was times of responding to haters. For example I’ve learned to never respond to a comment or situation or email while I’m sick; I learned this the hard way from a past experience. Nor do I respond after 10pm on a week day if I’m on a normal sleep schedule getting up at 6am or earlier. I also do the same as you and wait at least a day or two before responding to certain comments, by then I decide if it is even worth it or should be done in another manner altogether.
I had decided to never do interviews for media as well after a local paper published a story on me and the reporter said he would send it for my review before publication and that never happened and it ended up on the front of the local paper with some major errors. Yet, now with the advice to record all interviews for personal insurance I may do this in the future so I want to thank you for the great tip. If you’re ever around New England this summer or Tempe this year (I’m attending ASU starting this fall) Lunch is on me.
-Andrew
insightful … thanks for posting!
It’s great to know that you read your comments and manage them responsibly.
If I’m honest I retained from leaving comments as I believed I would be talking to myself, or your VA’s, but I like it that you still have the respect to look after your community.
p.s. Great to see you bulking up, what can you dead lift now?
Hi Matthew,
The only reason I have this blog is because of the community, and a big part of that is — of course — hearing you all. I injured my left leg a bit, but I was last around 430-450 x 3 reps. I’ll get there 🙂
Tim
How is your shirt part of the cato mind trick?
I was fooled. I thought you gave up on Onsen! That fake tattoo was nicely made though…
One of the commenter’s stories reminded me how we were influenced by our surrounded culture/circumstances. I count it as a first half, but at the same time we are responsible for the other half. We can nourish this ability to response. If we keep calm and carry on, “responsibility” can be a meaningful word.
Thank you for sharing/revealing who you were when you released the book. Sounds a bit different person.
I immensely enjoyed reading the menu. I think I can survive in Netherlands. Thank you for the link.
I finally watched the video – I see what tattoo in mention. Nice sleeve!
“I was last around 430-450 x 3 reps. I’ll get there”
Pretty good. If you’re 145-150, that is.
jk
From the lyrics of the modern philosopher Chamillionaire:
“I wanna show all of my haters love, this song’s for you,
If you acted like me and I was in your shoes,
I’d probably hate on me too.”
Keep doing your thing Tim!
WHAT are you talking about…
…is probably the thought going through the head of the guy I shared an elevator with recently!
I don’t read the news either Tim, anything important always filters to me some how.
As I’m sure you’re aware Britain has a new prime minister (PM), and CLEARLY – from the look on this guys face – anybody who didn’t know this the instant it happened comes from Mars!
I kept looking at your arm while you were speaking trying to figure out what kind of tattoo it was, than a few minutes into the video you let me know I was wasting my time when you revealed it was it was a trick. Still though I thought it looked neat.
Hi Tim,
Killer blog post. I am going to implement the Comment Rules right away. 🙂 Especially on our high traffic blogs and will definitely be putting in a (Thanks to Tim Ferris for the inspiration at the end and add a link back to this page). And no I won’t copy yours 🙂 Great stuff.
Tyler
Tim,
Just watched your speech after it was sent to me by someone who thought I should see it. There is a small but vocal group who have taken it upon themselves to publish hatchet jobs at regular intervals on a television show I am involved with and it was starting to take it’s toll on me. ‘Why are they taking it so personally?’ I’d ask myself ‘it’s just a television show for F^*K’s sake!’. The haters were starting to win as it was, as you say in your speech, beginning to take over my life and was preventing me from getting on with what I needed to get on with. While I could rationalise intellectually about the situation it was difficult to control the emotional aspects of it. I intend to print your 7 steps and adopt them daily. So thanks for the advice.
Hi Rob,
Thanks for the comment, man. My pleasure entirely.
Kia kaha, as your neighbors would say 🙂
Tim
[…] halte es da lieber mit Tim Ferris, dessen gestriger Beitrag “Tim Ferriss Scam! Practical Tactics for Dealing with Haters” sich ebenfalls mit dem Phänomen auseinandersetzt. Das eingebettete Video, welches während seines […]
Tim,
It was great seeing you in San Francisco too bro. I couldn’t believe you hosted the party in that ship. That was seriously freaking cool bro.
Remember… be a servant,
Cory Boatright
Short Sale Specialist
if what you are saying is true and you can measure your success by the number of haters you have – then anc youth league leader; julius malema must be pretty damn successful 😉
jokes aside – great article – thanks for sharing. cheers
Hey Tim,
danke für dein Kommentar auf mein Kommentar haha,
Regarding the new book,
1 Questions:
Can you tell us how the parts nutrition and excercising will be distributed in the book (i’m thinking about something like 50%nutr, 50% excercise )
thanks.
marcel
Nice tips Tim. Dealing with haters is one of the most character building things in life.
Tim:
You helped me to appeal a wrongful unemployment claim made on my daycare business!
I read this post for the first time yesterday morning. It was as if the stars aligned as I knew I was scheduled for a phone hearing yesterday afternoon to appeal a ridiculous unemployment claim, made by an over-reactive, delusional ex-employee who made EVERY issue personal.
Because of your point #6 copied below (read and re-read before the hour-long hearing), I was able to remain calm, focused and maturely OBJECTIVE.
I feel fantastic this morning and am able to finally release this person back to herself. I am also releasing myself from thinking about the bad situation she created; it’s done. No more anger or frustration either.
My husband is taking me away this weekend for our wedding anniversary and I feel emotionally free and super-charged to LIVE WELL and thoroughly enjoy myself!
I am still working on my muse–and my new parenting website, thanks to your 4HWW blueprint!!
Thank you, Tim.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
6. “Living well is the best revenge.” (George Herbert)
“The best way to counter-attack a hater is to make it blatantly obvious that their attack has had no impact on you,” Ferriss advises. “That, and [show] how much fun you’re having!” Ferriss goes on to say that the best revenge is letting haters continue to live with their own resentment and anger, which most of the time has nothing to do with you in particular. “If a vessel contains acid and you pour some on an object, it’s still the vessel that sustains the most damage,” Ferriss says. “Don’t get angry, don’t get even — focus on living well and that will eat at them more than anything you can do.”
I really enjoyed the I’ve always found it interesting how “hater logic” works. In one breath, they’ll say that you have no expertise that startups need, and that they see you everywhere constantly and that you’re a PR machine (TED comments). Which of course doesn’t logically follow at all.
I’ll do some anti-hate for a moment and give a big “THANKS!” Your book gave me the tools to run small research studies very cheaply and ensure product-market fit. On top of just being an awesome lifestyle tool.
There are a few key people that seem un-contactable, except maybe through twitter. *cough*Tim Ferriss*cough*
🙂
Tim,
Forget about the deadlifts unless you are going to compete at some point. Good basic exercise, but over long periods of time, deadlifts=back surgery. Much better and safer ways to bulk up. At 44 I’m still 215 at 6’2″ with a 33″ waist, but I wished I could have traded in some of those deadlifts and squats for other exercises that are less stressful on the joints and focus more on the muscle itself. Just not a good long-term strategy for fitness…ask me how I know. 🙂
Saw Nicholas Taleb, author of The Black Swan, speak last night. One of the things he mentioned is how he handles hate mail. He said that he reads his hate mail because it is always more interesting and varied than the fan mail.
Very awesome Tim! Thank you for the good advice. Also, it is nice to see a more emotional side of you! Much Love, V
Most people resent the success of others.
“The Risk of Insult is the Price of Clarity.”
-The Wizard of Ads
Tim, great post as always – I’ve found that dealing with haters usually boils down to whether you give a damn what other people think or not. And living to please others is a downhill road to a very unhappy and empty lifestyle. No matter who you are, you’ll be loved and you’ll be hated. Revel in both, it only means you touched a chord in someone else’s life that probably needed to be touched.
Hey Tim, I can imagine what it must be like to become so well know so fast and have built your business around your personality.
I have a friend that owns a numbered company here in B.C. if anyone wants to talk to him or sue him they have a hard time even finding where he is, never mind his name or phone number. Looks like your out on the other end of the scale.
I once had an art show back when I used to make art, I had a comments book and the only comment left was “your art is to expensive. PS, way to expensive.”
And that was only in a throw away book and not online where anyone can look.
When I heard about the guy with the comment something about whats it like to be remembered like 6 minute abs, it did ring a bell though.
I read the book (Four hour work week) and enjoy checking your blog out, but cant help thinking, hey that guy Tim, bit of a cad!
Or as we used to say back in the U.K. when someone tried to feed us a line, “you can’t con a con man.” I think the book was well worth the money.
After I read it and thought about it, reminded me of something I heard one time about how do you make a million dollars?
Well you write a book called how to make a million dollars, in it you instruct people to write a book called ‘how to make a million dollars and you sell a million of them for a dollar each.?
Loved the tattoo sleeve!
Cheers, Dave
Hi Tim,
I just watched your video, which was awesome.
I’ve wanted to thank you for quite awhile. A friend recommended your book. It has given me a whole new perspective.
I have recently started a new company. I am not yet blindingly successful, but I will be.
Failure is not an option. Ha!
I have an entirely new focus and am happier than I have ever been. I’ve traveled all over the world and truly wanted to live in other countries (sequentially) since my one experience in Luxembourg was so positive. Your words have given me the motivation to do what I’ve wanted to do instead of taking a job and living out my days in one spot. I will be letting you know of my success soon!
Thank you,
Jackie
I am currently writing something called “The ferrisspunk manifesto”. This gave me some new ideas to add, thanks 🙂
Dude, those psychos on your voicemail and Flickr are pretty frakking scary. Mind blogging a bit about your views on physical security?
AWESOME 7 PRINCIPLES…NEEDED TO HEAR IT!…Always seen your book but never bought it….NOW I WILL! look for me at the TOP!
Things to note:
1) Looks like you put on a ton of muscle (can’t wait to see the regiment in the next book)
2) Kick-ass Tat!
3) RANDOM EPISODE RANDOM EPISODE GIVE US MORE RANDOM EPISODE!
4) Most importantly, enjoyed the talk.
Tim,
This post had many good comments and I enjoyed it as usual.
However I notice that you are posting much less often (2x/month ave for this year) and when you do post it is usually a guest post or rehash (like this one). It seems you are saving up all your good stuff for another marketing blitz when your new book comes out. That will be many many months from now, and you may be watching your audience slip away.
Increasing the difficulty in maintaining your audience are these new advertising features. Don’t know which thing it is specifically (gravatar? tweetmeme?) but your pages load much much slower than usual. Vimeo seems impossible to work with under peak hours, although that may be a problem on their end.
In summary: I am concerned that the blog will slowly lose its entertainment value and audience. Sneak peaks of your new book, more Random, or posts in general couldn’t hurt.
With Respect,
Erin
PS: Halloween Costume: The shirt, haircut, and tattoo sleeve just SCREAM “Christian Rock Artist”. : )
Can’t wait for the new book to drop!
No matter what the haters say they should recognize at the very least the intelligence that you possess. The way the title functions both as an oxygen reducer and adding gasoline is very clever. I am a big fan but also acknowledge a few critical points that others argue against you, most noticeably the lack of solid proof for a few of your personal claims in the OG book as well as a few sketchy case studies when researched. However, I admire how strongly you stick to your principles and practice what you preach (“polarizing”). I would be proud to be considered a member of the 1000 fan ideal. Your words reach father than you know.
Thanks for everything,
Bailey
Bravo – by all means don’t be a playa hater! Might as well get what you can, even if you step all over of the little people along the way. You too can be one of those frat boys/sor girls with business major, take the vic, even if the $ of your investors goes south. Stop the hate right. 🙂
ZMac
Hey Tim,
Just like to send a big high five. I am glad to be one of the lovers. One of the people who supports rather than belittles. Constructive criticism, criticism for the sake of growth. I think i have a whole new love for it. I am glad for your words as the resonate with me and inspire me to have faith in my passion. You rock.
Hey Chris.
For every person who thinks your funny post is offending there’s a person who thinks it funny. A person may have thought of you as some corporate guy who just wants to make money. That person’s perception of you has changed. Maybe he see’s you as just another guy trying to make life a little lighter. I’d want to be friends with that guy. I want to buy from my friends not some guy wearing a nice suit with a frown.
Keep laughing, what’s life without laughter?
Much love people.
Its a beautiful night. Go outside and see for yourself.
I just watched this again. Really great presentation. A lot to think about.
Tim, first of all: respect! You’re a role model for more people than you probably can imagine. Just think of it as a pan full of lobster. Ever noticed that if one crawls out, the others pull him back in? I’d like to think of haters as that majority of the lobsters.. 😉
Second, being an European that has travelled to the US on several occasions, I can totally agree on the, what seems like a, lack of enthousiasm during your presentations. Especially over here in Nederland people really have a ‘C’ mentality. A famous Dutch verb is: “Just be normal, that’s crazy enough”. Doesn’t that just say it all? Probably if you compare it to giving a presentation in say Italy, you’ll already notice a big difference. So don’t take it personal, we *do* love you! 😀
Finally I have a question on perseverance.. Where do you keep the strength to persevere in what you believe in, even when things don’t seem to go as you hoped for, and all the haters are talking you down?
Keep being our inspiration! 😉
Cheers,
Bas
Thanks for the great lobster analogy and comment, Bas! I get the strength from picking my tight group of friends carefully. They are all supportive, positive, and ambitious in their own right, so we all deal with idiots and haters. It puts things in perspective to 1) have friends handling the same things, and 2) see ubersuccessful (in their areas of expertise) people remaining unfazed by idiots and haters.
Hope that helps!
Tim
Hi Tim,
Great video.
I know it’s very insignificant in terms of the whole presentation, but one comment you made during the Q & A at the end really resonated quite well with me, and that was… “passionate is a very over-used term” and that you prefer to choose things that you’re excited about (with regards to writing blog posts)… something along those lines.
My question is… do you use that philosophy when it comes to persuing business ventures?
I too agree that “passionate” is a very over-used term.
It’s just you get people left right and centre saying when it comes to starting a business, you should follow your passion. Well what if you don’t exactly know what your passion is? Or if there’s not a market for it?
Or you get people that say you should start a business based on your passion… and then also say you should start with your expertise. Well what if you’re an expert at something you’re not passionate about?
So yeh, my question is: do you think persuing a business idea that you’re simply excited or curious about is enough? Is that what you do?
I’d appreciate your insight on this if you wouldn’t mind… it frustrates the hell of me sometimes!
Anyway, thanks Tim,
Matt
I haven’t had lots of personal experience with haters, but I’ve seen them in the blogosphere, and I don’t like them! One of the things I’ve heard repeatedly (and I don’t know who said it) is “Those who care don’t matter, and those who matter don’t care.” People who like you for what you are don’t care about whether you are a little offensive, people who hate simply don’t matter.
Sorry about above, that quote was off. (and it’s from Dr. Seuss): Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind. Next time I’ll check before sending!
Hi Tim,
First off: depending on the educational level of your Dutch audience they will be quiet during your presentation. Most of the time they aren’t dead but polite and showing some respect to the guy on stage. Listening to you was why they came to your presentation in the first place.
Second: I haven’t yet as much haters as you have on-line. However it reminded me immediately on one experience I had when I published a silly video I published on Youtube. In that video I showed people who might what’s in an average tattoo set available on eBay. This was it. I just bought one of these sets and showed what was in it.
I never expected that it would attract some flamers. The first flamer assumed that I was a drug addict and because my Youtube channel, just as my blog, is one of my living rooms I decide who is coming to dinner. My first reaction was to apologize for my accent what was very stupid. Finally I removed the comment.
After a while there was a comment saying ‘You can tell that this guy has no idea what he is talking about’. First I had to laugh because I just was talking about the content of an effing case with a tattoo gun and accessories. This comment was totally insane and had nothing to do with what I was talking about. My first reaction was to react on it and telling the person who left the comment how dumb it was. Giving it a second thought I recognized that this was exactly what that person wanted to achieve. I could vividly imagine that he was leaning back in front of his computer waiting for a reaction where he could react on even more hateful.
I didn’t gave him or anybody else this opportunity and just removed his comment as well and then disabled the comments on this video altogether.
In real life I more than once experienced that people turn into haters at the moment you achieve something with ease that they didn’t. The reason for this is that you are shifting their comfort zone and this isn’t comfortable for them at all. What your achievement tells them is this: ‘Do you see how easy it can be to achieve this? It’s time to get off of your ass and do something.’
Yes, I guess this is what turns people into haters and you gave us some great guidelines here how to deal with it.
Have a great day!
Mario
“I can now proudly say that I have haters not only in English but in about 35 languages, including Dutch”
HAHAHA, really, that crowd must have been the most boring ever.. I laughed loud enough to get the “you’re NOT doing your job”-stare from my soon to be ex-boss.
Really Tim, I think the community should do some love-bombing to compensate. Lots of us, including me, hang around all the time but only post occasionally. I don’t doubt that you lack any thank-you-you-changed-my-life-mails, but count every positive post as x10 or x100 and you get closer to the truth.
Melodie Moore > I want to buy from my friends not some guy wearing a nice suit with a frown.<
Love that quote, some guy with a nice suit wearing a frown, too true!
Great video Tim, I think your presentation skills have really improved over time, you looked very comfortable giving that talk especially as the audience seemed to be dead! Just out of curiosity, do you have a list online of events you are speaking at? I’d love to attend one of these kinda events. Thanks once again.
Freddie
Thanks very much, Freddie. No real list, as I tend to commit last-minute. Just keep an eye on the blog and Twitter!
Have a great weekend,
Tim
Thanks Tim, just what the doctor ordered.
I’ve recently discovered the ‘downside’ to trying to change the world through promoting something you believe strongly in. I got a couple of nasty e-mails and it really through me off balance. So your video was so helpful because it allowed me to put it into perspective.
Something that a good friend told me a few days ago that also really helped was to make a list of ’20 Reasons Why I Am NOT What ‘They’ Say I Am’ – I’ve made this list and put it on my wall where I can see it regularly.
Thanks again Tim
Marcus
*sigh of relief*
Well put!
Cheers,
Jason Aiken
Tim
I am just going to through this out there. Your google ads put up a banner for a hand gun training facility. I am not sure that is a acceptable option for dealing with haters. Just FYI.
Hahaha… are you serious? Wow, gotta love this Google AdSense experiment…
Reminds me of a post I read recently, I was looking at a product, and ran across a post by the designer of this program, he intentionally baited a well known blogger and bashed the guy for his endorsement of a competing product. Turns out his attack on the blogger drove a lot of people to google his company thereby increasing his page ranking and sales. The more the blogger fought back the more the attacker increased his sales and rankings. Blogger took his bait hook line & sinker. Fighting back with an inferior opponent in the end is a waste of time and can only serve to strengthen the inferior opponent.
Tim,
First time, long time ( a.k.a WFAN, N.Y) I am a fan. Nice bolg – your post’s are improving, though that tatoo thing was a bit strange.
Thanks,
Evan
Tim as always thanks for another great post!
I have never understood the concept of haters. You would think it would be a natural tendency for people to promote each other and work together in order to achieve greater effectiveness. However, you post was very accurate and contained some great points.
I have been a closet fan of yours for the past year and have just used all of your principles along with those of people you suggest to put together my first business venture. Thank you for changing my life!
Ryan
Are there good ways to deal with haters on line, like keep their stuff out of search engines or burry their suff in search engines so negative stuff is hard to find?
Excellent talk.
One of my favorite quotes is from the Dalai Lama: “Our enemies provide us with a precious opportunity to practice patience and love. We should have gratitude toward them.”
You are a better person for dealing with critics and haters constructively. Thanks for writing 4HWW – I look forward to your next book.
Don’t Hate Participate…..To all the haters, I say with love. What you think about me is none of my business.
Peace in,
Elon
Excellent video Tim! I’ve been wanting to hear how you deal with haters and trolls – one of your old ones is currently up in arms against me (seriously). He said I’m “as bad as Tim Ferriss”, to which I thanked him of course 😉
Some trolls really are as bad as bullies on a schoolyard – all they want is a reaction. I find that if someone writes a ridiculously long comment that has one tiny mention of something good, I’ll thank them for saying that and the positivity shuts them up quicker than arguing them away ever would.
I wish I had watched this video a few months back. I wasted so much time getting into needless arguments that just had me grinding my teeth wishing horrible things to people. There’s a great XKCD comic strip about angry chatter online that also shows the reason why it happens (number 438 for those curious); I think we end up seeing these words on a screen as nothing more than a faceless force of an opinion against yours and not coming from a human being. The anonymity (even when a name and picture is provided) dehumanises what you end up reading. If we met that same individual in person we’d be much more civil. That’s why I like your rules about people treating one another like in their living rooms.
Now that I’ve said something relevant to the topic, I need to think of a clever way to get you to comment back or to get people mildly interested to click my name and check out my blog. I need the validation to see my numbers go up slightly in Google Analytics. Any ideas? 🙂
Oh, I know! I’ll point out some random information that perhaps nobody else missed to show how incredibly observant I am: you need to update the Copyright information at the bottom to 2010! 🙂 [OK that was weak – damnit, maybe I need more diet coke too]
A certain category of hater can be summed up with H.G. Wells’s quote: “Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.”
@BD
THAT is a great quote. I will have to use it =)
Awesome post. A couple are well known to me, like “you can’t please all the people all the time”. But a few of them hit hard, like if you are really effective, you will get trash talked a lot. But you know, it really is true.
Keep your hate for what’s important. That’s a good thing to keep in mind.
You don’t have to hate everything.
I ran a test on my blog in an article “Is Tim Ferriss honest ?” and I was amused to see how some people are REALLY against you. I can’t understand it. They simply seem to reject everything they don’t expect (may be that’s even more true for French people).
Anyway, dealing with haters is an essential part of living a well design life whether by working when you want or following unusual tracks.
In fact, if nobody hates you, it might be that you are accomplishing nothing 🙂
For me there are different forms of criticism which I take in different ways. If someone disagrees with my point of view and does so in a respectful manner then really I’m fine with it.
On the other hand if someone brands me a scammer, spammer or attacks me personally then I see that as a whole different ball game.
I suppose one of the biggest ways I have grown as a person over the years is having the confidence not to worry too much about the “haters”. As a teenager I hated having to share an opinion incase someone disagreed with me. I didn’t want to stick out from the crowd.
Now, I appreciate that giving your opinion and being true to yourself is vitally important. Whilst you may risk alienating some people you will draw others with similar opinions towards yourself and it is these people who hold the same values as yourself who I believe have the greatest potential to positively impact your lifestyle.
hehehehehehehehehe……….
That was a great “teaser” for the book,sir…well-played! Keep us posted on the dates. Also found the handgun training ad a little strange from a martial artist- adsense can make wrong assumptions, I guess.
Unrelated……… but muse creation (idea generation) is the one area you don’t seem to have a lot of in the archives. Tons of implementation and examples (cold remedy was all-time favorite), but not a lot on how to turn an interest into an idea. Best example is the sound library friend from the book- as a musician, I wouldn’t have contemplated or “found” my way to that idea. I would think about performing, record label, distribution, website that sells gear…. all the traditional stuff. What processes have you found to kickstart the creative process for a muse? I see a lot of questions and comments in these posts about trying to find or start one; might be a popular topic for you. Keep the good stuff coming!
Hello Tim,
I´ve heard that you personally read all your commentaries. And as you say in you book, I am trying to get in touch with you as you tell people to do with Bill Clinton for example.
I would apreciate if you send me an email back, It would make me very happy.
Regards from Spain.
Hi Tim,
De koffie salon. I live five minutes from there, and I go there at least three times a week. The Buscaglione coffee is just brilliant. They now also sell it with a machine (like Nespresso, but better) and it tastes just as great.
I admire the way you are able to find these little secrets every city has. It’s not the place every tourist goes…
Cheers from a sunny Amsterdam.
Thanks, Maarten 🙂
HAHAHA! That voice mail was insane….
beside the crazy people like that dude, I feel the majority of “haters” are just jealous of success and equally as scared.
Great video and sick tat man…
This speech is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so much for your work. You have really enlightened me with this speech. This was my first exposure to your work, and I truly look forward to more.
Kudos, and thank you so much Tim. This really meant a lot.
Oh I love the Dutch accents in the Q&A.
Hereby Tim, my excuses for my fellow Dutch-people.
Great talk by the way. You always motivate me!
Back from watching the vid…
This is embarrassing…
Amazing how many people (including me) didn’t actually watch the video and fired those comments about the ink job.
Anyway – you got me Tim.
Y.
Thanks again for an extremely helpful blog/talk. One thing that I have dealt with is allowing myself to become intimidated by Critics/Haters who could be seen as more of an expert on the subjects that I am attempting to present. Again the tips you offered were very helpful.
Thanks
@Tim
ppl should troll a bit before they begin to blog, why ? simple there are 2 important things: if the trolled person reply/get any reaction the troll is successful, if dont get any reaction the troll failed
Ghandi for web 2.0
first they ignore you
then they lol at you
then they troll you
then you win
Hey Tim,
Another great post…I really like the quality of the videos that you put (both in content and actual picture/sound quality).
My comment is a bit off topic but here it goes. It seems like it’s been a while since you had or talked about a mini-retirement. I mean we know that you went to South Africa for a couple weeks (breaching sharks = bad-ass) and granted you must be hella busy with writing/wrapping-up the upcoming book (can’t wait for that to drop), but I personally liked reading about the trials and epiphanies that you had when you unplugged yourself from the rat-races of conventional society, or whatever you call the daily grind.
Thanks again,
Norman
Alas, a problem I don’t have.
Think its underrated how you don’t take it personally.
I couldn’t.
“Don’t rain on my parade because you don’t have one of your own.” – paraphrased quote from Jeff Gitomer
… thus, I embrace this for dealing with haters. Sometimes I will go as far as putting my haters on a pedestal because they can be so damn funny. I’ve posted their hate mail in blogs and posts and it has actually turned into positive traffic. Amazing! …and amusing!
~E. Christ
Hallelulah! Keep on keepin on…
Thanks for the reminder to stay on task, Tim — great strategies!