“My tardiness in answering your letter was not due to press of business. Do not listen to that sort of excuse; I am at liberty, and so is anyone else who wishes to be at liberty. No man is at the mercy of affairs. He gets entangled in them of his own accord, and then flatters himself that being busy is a proof of happiness.”
— Seneca
“I was always ashamed to take. So I gave. It was not a virtue. It was a disguise.”
— Anaïs Nin
For me, 2025 will be a year of shipping new things. There’s lots in the hopper.
Today, I’m pleased to announce my first book in more than seven years.
It’s been in the works for a long time and is currently 500+ pages. This time around, I’ll be doing things very differently.
The book, tentatively titled THE NO BOOK, is a blueprint for how to get everything you want by saying no to everything you don’t. Don’t let the title mislead you; it’s probably the most life-affirming book I’ve ever written.
It details the exact strategies, philosophies, word-for-word scripts, tech, and more that I and others use to create focus, calm, and meaning in a world of overwhelming noise.
THE NO BOOK contains all of the best tricks and tools that I’ve collected over the last 15 years, in addition to those of world-class performers. Lots of my friends make cameos, and I’m sharing details that I’ve kept closely guarded until now. If you’ve wanted to know how my life and business work with only three full-time employees, this will show you.
What else is different about this book?
– Though I drafted the bones years ago, I brought in a close friend as a co-writer and co-experimenter. This is my first time ever collaborating on a book, and it’s been an amazing and hilarious adventure. I’m thrilled with the results, and I’ve never seen anything quite like it.
– Unlike my last five books, we’re going to first release this one serially, one chapter or a handful of chapters at a time.
– We will also create a community for early readers, who will be able to read and experiment together, support one another, and provide us with feedback on the book. We want people to change their lives with this book, and for that, reading isn’t enough. It must be applied, and we feel that the community, combined with serial release, will help produce real action with real results.
– The plan may change. In keeping with the theme of the book, if the community or serial release turn into more headache than fun, or more emergency brake than accelerator, we’ll renegotiate and try something else.
– To read THE NO BOOK first and get other exclusives, you just need to subscribe to my free 5-Bullet Friday newsletter. That’s where the magic will happen. It’s easy to unsubscribe anytime.
***
Now, I don’t want to give too many spoilers, and the exact timeline will be announced soon, but I won’t leave you without a sample.
Two chapters are coming up tout de suite.
But first, what of that collaborator?
Well, he made an appearance in The 4-Hour Body when I force-fed him into gaining muscle, but he’s better known as the ten-time New York Times best-selling author of The Game, The Dirt, Emergency, and others. He’s written liner notes for Nirvana and received hate mail from Phil Collins. He did a decade-long tour of duty at The New York Times, wrote cover stories for Rolling Stone, and almost got killed by an ax-wielding polyamorous lunatic in The Truth. He and I even have the same haircut.
Most relevant here, he busted my balls for not finishing this book sooner, and that’s how we ended up here.
So why don’t I let him tell the story in his words?
INTRODUCTION
By Neil Strauss
The goal of life is to make good decisions.
And decisions are the simplest thing in the world. They just consist of a single choice between two words: yes or no.
Through this binary choice, much like the way a computer builds digital worlds out of 0s and 1s, we create our destiny.
These two options, however, are not created equal. There is just a tiny sliver of the world that we have the time to experience. So, we are called to filter through the nearly infinite spectrum of all that is available to us… and say no to almost everything. The more we can say no to the things that don’t serve us, the more we are living our purpose.
And I am failing at my life purpose.
I say yes to fucking everything.
This is why I decided to help write this book. Not just to help you but to help me reclaim my life.
When I was trying to decide what to share in this introduction, I called Tim for his thoughts.
“Can you think of a recent example where you said yes to something you shouldn’t have?” he asked.
My ex-wife was sitting next to me and it took her 1.5 seconds to come up with an example: “Janet’s costume party tonight.”
We all probably have a Janet in our lives. She is so pushy and persistent, in the kindest and most enthusiastic way, that I have trouble saying no to her. To her, a yes is a legally binding agreement. A maybe is a yes. And a no is the beginning of a guilt trip that ends when you fold and say maybe—which she then takes to mean yes, making it a legally binding agreement.
“So just cancel,” Tim wisely suggested.
“I can’t,” I replied unwisely.
“See?” Ingrid gloated. “I rest my case.”
Her case was indeed rested. On my guilty conscience.
I grew up in a home where saying no wasn’t an option. A no would get you a stern lecture, a long grounding, or worst of all, a withdrawal of love. So as an adult, I became existentially terrified that every no would come with some sort of blowback, such as losing a friendship, an opportunity, or someone’s good will. And now I give my time—and my life—away, sometimes to people who have been publicly shitty to me. They call this trauma bonding. It’s my specialty.
Not like Tim.
Tim is the master of no. As I write this in mid-October 2023, his text messages have an auto-response that reads:
I’m traveling overseas until Nov 7. If your text is urgent, please reach out to someone on my team. Otherwise, please resend your text after Nov 7 if it still applies. Since catching up would be impossible, I’ll be deleting all messages upon my return and starting from scratch. Thank you.
Deleting three weeks worth of messages! That is boss-level no.
It’s basically saying: The message you sent me is your priority, not automatically mine.
It’s a screaming yes to life.
It is truly an act of courage to not worry about how every single person who receives that text is going to react to being deleted. And this is just a small, everyday example of Tim’s time mastery. Here’s how incredible Tim is at saying no at a world-record level:
Five years ago, he called to tell me he was writing a book on how to say no. He wanted me to contribute an essay to it.
I didn’t have time to help out. So of course I shut it down with these four words: “Yes, I’ll do it!”
I didn’t want Tim to be mad at me or stop asking me to contribute to his books or abandon me as a friend and talk shit about me to Naval Ravikant.
Afterward, I spent a week writing a chapter for his project, and grumbling about how I should be spending the time working on my own book. After all, people pleasers like me live in constant resentment. We blame other people’s requests for our bad decisions.
I finished the essay and sent it to Tim, as did many others. Tim sent some follow-up questions, just to take up more of our time and make sure we regretted our decision, then he did something incredible:
He said no… to the whole book!
He has so thoroughly mastered the art that he actually said no to the book on no. And then went on to return the largest book advance he’d ever been given.
Wow, that was an impressive act of self-preservation. While it may take you five days to read a book, it can take him three years to write and research it. That’s three years of his life he gained back with a single no.
There was just one problem: I needed the book. As did so many others. It’s a war zone out here. Our devices and apps, even some of our home appliances, are constantly studying us, determining how to focus more of our attention on their business models. Under the guise of helping us, they drown us in inboxes, notifications, and alerts, synced to phones, tablets, watches, even our cars. And if you don’t respond to the Janets of the world within fifteen minutes, you get the inevitable “Are you okay?” or “Are you upset at me?” message. Or even worse, the insidious “???”
Whether the challenge is the phone, other people, or our own compulsions, most of us need help saying no to what doesn’t matter and drains our life energy. So, I reached out and told Tim that if he didn’t want to finish the book, I would.
On the condition that he could cancel the whole endeavor anytime he liked with one no, he eventually sent me a 72,000-word Scrivener file of his notes, thoughts, writings, and collected information. I then set about organizing it into a book that would help myself and others live a more meaningful, connected, purpose-driven life by following the path of no.
But simply dispensing rejections isn’t the goal. You need amazing things worth defending. The path of no is also the path of selective yesses. This book is a guide to finding the critical few among the trivial many.
It’s about finding the big yesses in our lives. Just a few. These may be people, partners, projects, places, and passions—yesses so incredibly fulfilling that they enable us to say no to everything else. In fact, you only have to get a few big yesses right to live a deeply successful and joyful life.
The book that follows was put together by the two of us from Tim’s notes and experiences; further discussions and research; lots of hilarious video calls; and contributions from other gurus of no, some of whom actually said no to us. We have included their rejections in the book as templates. Unless otherwise stated, every chapter and first-person anecdote that follows is from Tim’s perspective.
Hopefully by the end of this guide, we can all learn that there is a highway to happiness. And the borders that keep us on it, that prevent us from straying into the abyss of meaninglessness, are paved with the word no.
TORSCHLUSSPANIK
By Tim Ferriss
I first realized I had a problem when everything was going right for me.
The day was May 2, 2007, just after 5:30 p.m. in New York, when I received a phone call I’ll never forget. My editor at Random House wanted to inform me that my debut book, The 4-Hour Workweek, had hit The New York Times bestseller list.
As her words sunk in, I staggered backward and collapsed against the wall in shock, gratitude, and relief. Overnight, I was transformed from a guy begging people to answer his emails to someone on the other side. All kinds of requests and offers poured in. Speaking gigs, interviews, consulting, partnerships, brand deals—it was a tsunami.
Flattered, unprepared, and afraid this might be my only 15 minutes of fame, I said “yes” to nearly everything, especially anything six, nine, or twelve months off in the distance. My calendar seemed like pristine water, clear as crystal for a brief lull. Then I had to pay the piper.
Rarely in the same place for more than a week, I felt more like Willy Loman in Death of a Salesman than a jet-setting rock star. My assistants and I were getting hammered with hundreds, then thousands, of emails per day. 90% of the time, I had no idea how people got my private email addresses. We were drowning.
The irony was that my systems worked great. It was pure operator error.
In the deluge, I had slipped from a mindset of JOMO (Joy of Missing Out) and following my own priorities, to a mindset of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and reactively grasping at shiny objects and shiny people. I was succumbing to what the Germans call Torschlusspanik: literally, “door-closing panic.”
The term comes from the time of walled medieval cities, when the gates would close at night—and any resident left outside would be forced to fend for themselves. Getting through those doors often meant survival.
In survival mode, I panicked. I stopped following my own rules. Once I made the first exception, the game was lost. It was death by a thousand paper cuts.
So, what the hell happened? Why didn’t I see it coming?
These habits are formed early and embed themselves deeply. I come from a family full of lovely and conflict-avoidant folks. This isn’t true for everyone in the extended clan, but it’s enough for my default to be people-pleasing. Or, more accurately, people-fearing—a distinction we’ll dive into later.
Before the publication of my book, with little inbound, the effects of people-pleasing were negligible. I came up with wild plans, went out hunting for opportunities, cold-emailed people to pitch ideas, and knocked things off my to-do list. After the success of the book, with 1000x more inbound, the effects of people-pleasing were catastrophic. The underlying fear and guilt came out in full force and wreaked havoc. I was being emailed and called by a Genghis Khan army of versions of myself (surprise, bitch!), and I didn’t have a playbook. Saying yes to other people’s priorities made mine vanish like sand through my fingers.
It took a while to unwind and figure out that I was doing it all wrong.
Twelve months later, I had stemmed a good portion of the blood loss. It was only possible because I had found a big YES that allowed me to focus and say no to at least 50% of the noise:
Startups.
I used the book’s popularity with technologists to begin investing in and advising startups, and I soon moved to San Francisco to be in the center of the action. The timing was good, and I had incredible luck (Shopify, Facebook, Twitter, Uber, Alibaba, and more).
One afternoon, I found myself in the office of a CEO and friend. His company would later become one of the fastest-growing startups in history. That day, he was calm as usual, despite the chaos and noise of Market Street a few floors below. Once we’d caught up on the latest developments, the conversation meandered into productivity systems, and I asked how he thought about managing email. He spun his laptop around on his desk to show me his Gmail account. Once my eyes adjusted, I stood there slack-jawed, fixated on one thing:
84,000+ unread email.
Smiling at my shock, he said, “Inbox zero is a fallacy.”
Completely unfazed, he went on to explain a few policies he had. He ignored 99% of what came in. For much of what remained, his answer was a short, “Not up my alley. Thanks.”
If 10 different but appealing people asked him to grab dinner, he would invite those 10 people to a group dinner and kill many birds with one stone.
If he wanted to preserve political capital but decrease contact with certain people, he’d do the “slow fade”: He might first reply to them in 5 days, then 10 days, and then 20 days. “They will stop asking,” he noted.
Clearly, there were levels to filtering, and then there were levels to filtering. I took a photograph of his 84,000 unread count as a reminder.
Right after that meeting, I created a digital swipe file called “polite declines” in Evernote, a product made by another startup I advised. Starting that week in 2009, if anyone said no in a way that struck me as elegant or clever, I saved it. If a rejection somehow made me feel good, I saved it. If someone had great policies on their contact form, I saved it. If I came across a trick, tool, or philosophical reset for saying no—whether over a meal, via email, or at the airport—I saved it.
This book contains the highlights from that swipe file.
It’s taken me an embarrassingly long time to implement the advice here, but I’ve found rules, systems, and tools that make life a lot easier. Of course, these strategies apply to dealing with other people, including strangers, loose ties, and family. But they also apply to managing ourselves, especially those glitches in our mental operating system that act against our best interests.
I’ve also found ways to idiot-proof things and bring the lifeboat closer, such that when you do slip into overcommitting (it’ll happen), it’s one step to recovery instead of ten.
This book was originally written like my other books (i.e., Tim tests everything, writes about what works, then publishes), until I called Neil to see how a rewrite was coming on a rough draft.
“Hey, Tim, I’m in Copenhagen,” he screamed over a cacophony of background noise. “I’m at this conference I agreed to speak at, but now I’m hosting the whole thing, and it’s been taking up all my time.”
“That’s not good. I hope they’re paying you well.”
“They’re not paying me anything.” He paused and sighed. “And you’re not going to believe this, but I told the guy running the conference he could stay at my house when he’s in LA next month.”
“You what?! Has this book been working for you at all?”
He stammered a response, and we both came to realize that for a die-hard people pleaser, information and templates aren’t enough. As my friend Derek Sivers puts it, “If more information were the answer, then we’d all be billionaires with perfect abs.”
So, we rebuilt the book from the ground up as a daily, step-by-step experience with readings, exercises, and a complete plan that is relentlessly action-focused.
The first test subject was Neil. As he went through these exercises and steps, he added his own experiences, notes, and struggles. Afterward, seeing the eventual transformation, it’s clear that if you do the work, this book really, really works. The book is designed to meet you where you are on your no journey and take you further than you think possible.
And unlike most self-help programs, there is no set of one-size-fits-all rules. Through these readings and exercises, you will pick up a toolkit that is uniquely your own, tailored to your specific goals, challenges, strengths, and weaknesses. Some chapters won’t be for you, but some will be especially for you.
The No Book is a Trojan Horse for becoming better at decision-making writ large. Decision-making is your life.
Everything from a job offer to a marriage proposal is a yes to one thing and a no to hundreds of thousands of other opportunities. It’s easy—the universal default—to get pulled into the quicksand of half-hearted yesses and promiscuous overcommitment, ending up stressed and reactive, wondering where your time has gone.
The No Book re-examines how we navigate our finite path. It will help you build a benevolent phalanx—a protective wall of troops—that guard your goals, your relationships, and more, making everything more easeful.
As you get deeper into this book, you’ll begin to realize that how you handle no mirrors how you handle almost everything in life. Dramatically changing your nos will dramatically change your life.
If Neil can fix his Copenhagen debacle and do a 180—which he did—the sky is the limit.
So let’s start building you some wings.
###
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P.S. Any thoughts or suggestions? Please let me know in the comments below! Comments here are far better than social media, as I’ll actually see them. And thanks for reading this far.
Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That's how we're gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you're rude, we'll delete your stuff. Please do not put your URL in the comment text and please use your PERSONAL name or initials and not your business name, as the latter comes off like spam. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation! (Thanks to Brian Oberkirch for the inspiration.)
Very excited for the finished product.
Any advice on if you have said yes previously and now come to the realisation that you don’t want to do it – what are some diplomatic ways to get out of it without causing bigger issues when compared to just going ahead and doing the thing?
Along with learning to say no to time-consuming projects and lackluster initiatives, I desperately need help escaping soul-sucking conversations I get trapped in. It happens to me all the time—I’m far too polite! Even when my feet are angled to walk away, and I’m slowly backing up, I just can’t find the words to end the conversation. Please, I beg you, help me put the kibosh on this!
Tim – can’t wait for the book to unfold – it’s been too long between drinks and delighted to know a new and perhaps best Ferriss book is being birthed
I think the power is going to lie in taking onboard and working through in typical Tim style a practical action focussed program to help us all on our individual journeys.
With huge thanks and anticipation
Scrolling back through it looks like a lot of text but I felt like I read it in no time and can’t wait for more. I’m a tool kit kind of guy so this will be great.
A few points to cover if they aren’t already there:
Relieving yourself of the burden of caring what other people think when you say no. This is very difficult for many people but it’s a superpower for those that can.
Some relationships and some asks require an explanation for a “no” but most do not.
Sometimes a “no” leads to a conversation that needs to be had, ends a relationship that needed to end or brings about other beginnings and endings. These are the hard but necessary and wonderful conversations that move your life forward.
Sam Harris’ 2025 New Year’s resolution of making choices “like this is his last year on earth” to decide if he would do a thing, would be a chapter by itself.
Good luck, work hard and have fun on this Tim! Thank you for everything you do.
It would be great to get some of the tools and tips peppered into this introduction – it feels like a “selling job” on why to read the book rather than getting into the content
This reminds me of the old saying “if you can’t say no, your yes has no meaning “…I’m looking forward to reading more 🤗
All I can say is, I am exceedingly grateful at the wisdom and willingness to share and humility to share truthfully while celebrating victories that you so deservedly have experienced . I sincerely look forward to reading the rest and I’m thankful for the day you were born. For such a time is this.
Can’t wait to read more chapters of this new book. Great title! This is a great topic and so crucial in this time of overload. As a person who tends towards people pleasing and trying to do way too much I’m eager for a step-by-step practical method, Tim-Ferris’s style.
Thanks for coming back to this project for us all, Tim (and Neal). The release technique is a cool idea and definitely going to test my patience! Looking forward to the coming months.
Having read books from both Tim and Neil, I sense this book / thread can be a sort of mentor to many like me. Keep it coming!
I love you, Tim. I am alive because of you.
Thank you for everything.
Exciting addition to your lineup of books, Tim. The first chapter, the roll-out format and collaboration with Neil is certainly a great hook to keep us on the lookout for more. Can’t wait to read on.
Thank you, Nick
I desperately need this book. A recovering people pleaser, I’ve said yes so long that I no longer know what my yes is (the Anais Nin quote resonates!)
As a coach, I realize that the “disagreeable” (in the Big Five model of personality sense) seem to advance their own agenda way more than us than us nice folk. I’ve been working on this in therapy (and highly recommend The Courage to be Disliked by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi). Still the strategies and tools that this book promises are what I really need to implement it more systematically in my life. I’d love to be a beta reader! Thanks Tim and Neil for saying yes to creating this.
Something I’d like to see discussed in the book is what happens when someone you’re close to doesn’t want to establish the same boundaries as you. Let’s say you’re ready to say no to something but your spouse is not, like a family member that asks for money that the spouse can’t say no to but you feel fine saying no to. I’m wondering how you would navigate these no situations where more permanent relationships are at hand. How do you decide which boundaries take priority over your relationships?
Oh. My. Life. This is like a dream come true moment. I am so entertained after reading that. Thank you to two of my favourite people for coming together to create. The whole universe thanks you for the ripple effect to follow.
Can’t wait to read this, and feels more apt than ever! Looking forward to the serial release and getting to apply the info step by step.
Congratulations on completing your first book in 7 years! It’s an incredible milestone and a testament to your dedication and creativity can’t wait to see the impact it will have on your readers! Keep going on these types of wonderful Blogging, Thank You.
It seems to me Tim is paving the way in this book to merge ‘say no’ as heuristic to making life choices with McKeown‘s ‘essentialist’ principles. Curious to keep reading and see what’s truly original about the ‘NoBook’. I’m guessing it’s more to do with the novel approach to distribution and the subsequent buzz but let’s keep an open mind and see past what atm feels like a revamped business model.
Wow! This awesome and something I really need this struggling with building a VC firm, trying to maintain good health and close relationships. I’m scared of saying no and not being as productive or being loved… Really looking forward to the early-reader community, would love to start an in person one in Stockholm 🙂
Curious to learn more how feelings come in the picture of decision-making..
Hi Tim, I’m glad you’re getting back on the horse again. And very wise to take on a partner to accomplish this big task. I think it’s a very worthwhile conversation to be in !
My contribution is that my 26 years of practicing acupuncture combined with therapy has led me to put the acupuncture needle in the hands of the individual and train them in a two day seminar. I’m so passionate about it that when they leave after the two day training, I want to give them everything that I got in my three years of training. I am so exuberant about helping them take control over their own body and their own health that I’m having a hard time seeing the limit of how much I can engage with them and how much to hold their hand after the training process. At this stage it’s all very manageable, but once our seminars become filled with more people and are held more frequently, it’s not going to be sustainable. On top of that, I also train people individually who don’t like to be in groups so I’ve got all that follow up with those individuals as well. So point is… I’m very much looking forward to this book coming out and giving me some more tips and tricks to manage the growth that we have coming in the future. It’s great to be a pioneer, but the downside of that is that no one has invented this wheel and we have no predecessors to look to. I’m counting on this book to be a real beacon for You Healing You. I’ll keep sending people your way. I think you do what you do better than all the others. Ciao for now. Looking forward to the future!!
I’m super excited about the release of your new book! I’ve devoured all of your works over the years—from The 4-Hour Workweek to The 4-Hour Body, The 4-Hour Chef, and Tools of Titans. Your books have been my trusted companions through so many stages of life—guiding me during my school years, supporting me through university, and now helping me navigate my professional journey.
In today’s world, where distractions seem endless, I think this new book couldn’t be more timely. The idea of learning how to say “no” and reclaim focus feels like the exact wisdom we all need right now. Thank you for continuing to inspire and challenge us to create better versions of ourselves. Looking forward to having your insights on my journey once again!
What a great way to start the day with a new Tim Ferriss book on the horizon. Also a big fan of Neil and have read several books of him in the past.
Loved the first two/chapters and I‘m more than intrigued. I think it times of AI, social media and millions of distractions it couldn’t come at a better time.
I hope it will help me to learn to focus more and do a few things right instead of a dozen things half-assed while calming my inner monkey mind, who jumps from one thing to the other (especially in my job, investing but also with my hobbies etc.)
I‘m also curious about the few chapters at a time idea. Definitely an interesting experiment. It forces the reader to think about the content first, digest and ideally take a action, instead of speed reading through the book.
To sum up: Happy and excited for the release. Thanks Tim (and his team) and Neil
Love this so far! I would love to know how to embrace and love ‘no’ if you are someone who is inclined to want to try different things. Lots of variety. Like a no bicycle rack or back burner list for when you’ve said yes to something for a period of time, but could come back to it later. Otherwise no feels so serious and finite but there’s so many things I’d like to try (e.g different sports, creative projects, certain books).
Very exciting!!
Cool! Would love to be a part of early doers who might be useful in shaping the book for the best.
And I do no accept JOMO in this case (just kidding)
Btw, my Yes-to-everything is on his deathbed, so I’d really appreciate this opportunity to fill the void )
Very excited for this one, Tim. Though looking at the other side of the coin for a minute, “No” and the thought of putting yourself first is at times used to cover insecurity and go in a protective shell. I see it with people around me and sometimes my own thoughts. “No I don’t want to see my these people today, as one of them said an off key comment to me last time”, rather than choose to say No to the particular individual it’s easier to dismiss the whole event as something that ‘doesnt serve me’. This type of thought is also proporgated on social media, often taking the form of positive emotional quote. Though I feel without truly looking onwards for the cause of wanting to say No or Yes, either way can lead to a misguided decision.
The collab no one asked for, but secretly craved for. And even the format is innovated! How can you say No to that!
Dear Tim
I have been following you already for many years. Big fan 🙂 Thank you so much for all the work you do!
What I would like to learn with this new book is how to keep our decisions in check. When we decide (on a clear mind) what to say no to, what would be the best way to keep firm on our decision.
I find myself, specially when I have more free time or get bored, starting to look for new courses or new skills to learn, which sooner or later have to drop, because I have taken too much at once.
I wish you all the best with this new adventure/book, which I already know you are enjoying so much.
Greetings from Switzerland.
Valeria Escudero
Yesterday I read “the article” about Neil Gaiman and how he has raped and sexually abused women over the years. What a disgusting, sick, false, manipulative and sadistic a**hole.
I hope a book like this could include some advice for these vulnerable people on how to stay as far away from these sadistic animals as possible since they do have a certain MO. Let’s face it: predators always go for the weakest (e.g., mentally fragile people, those who hate themselves, outsiders, etc.) in the herd as well as lonely people without a safety net. Predators spot from a mile away who they can “manipulate” or “prey upon”.
A “NO” is not always respected and vulnerable people (no matter age or gender) must be prepared for those occasions.
Also, I realize it might not be the right setting for this type of advice in your book, Tim, but, it would be great if you could consider it since you have such a great platform.
I’m looking forward to the book. It made me already research Neill, and I will be reading “The Game” as my next book. I’m just finishing “Unreasonable Hospitality,” which was also Timm’s recommendation. I hope I can apply some of your tools and teachings, You have been one of my mentors over the years. Let me know if you need any one for an experiment of yours, I would love to be involved.
Cheers.
MS
Tim & Team,
Really pulled by this topic and eager for this work to unfold. Thanks for doing it. I have felt the strain of my own yes-ing throughout my lifetime. Now, as a middle-aged woman, I’m tired, which is beginning to work FOR me in this department.
But that makes me feel shittier about saying no because kids, running a company, trying to keep my muscle, be a great wife, community member, hydrate. OMG.
All this to say I’m pumped. I need some scaffolding that penetrates the cold ground on this for me – what is beneath my no? How can I fortify myself (I think it has to go that deep) so I can reconstitute this way I’ve been for 48 years.
Damn. I’m 48. I’m trying to remain robust and grow my company, so I’m all over this as you release it.
BOOM. Crush it out there, people.
I am very excited about this book. Will it be available in hard copy? I work for the federal government and have several managers who need a copy of it.
I think one of the biggest challenges is the fear that saying no equates to inactivity rather than a positive choice to reflect & be self-determinant. What do I mean? Well I’ve had situations where I’ve said yes because yes = doing stuff = being busy = adding value whereas often it can deliver the opposite ie jack of all trades, master of none.
Looking forward to reading more as the chapters unfold as I’ve set myself the challenge of making 2025 a year of considered yes’s which now should be just more no’s!
great to see you back. looking forwar to seeing the next no chapter
I enjoyed reading this post so much. I CANNOT wait to read the book. The way you describe the process is so captivating. For a relentless and chronic people pleaser, as I’ve come to realise and accept I am, this blogpost alone is engaging and has an impact, so much that I want to share with others. You’re the reason I started listening to podcasts years ago. Thank you for sharing, Tim.
Tim + Neil,
Thank you for this contribution to the world. As a director in an extremely complex project environment & new project delivery model (IPD) I am overrun by meeting invites and last minute requests. Being on the owners payroll has turned our entire project team into the owners bitch. Precious tax payers dollars flushed down the toilet by inflated teams justifying their positions by saying yes to everything and making up meetings they expect everyone else to say yes to. With a decade left on the project, I am excited at the prospect of making this project a case study for a default no philosophy within my team.
I am looking forward to this being released and to contributing to the community as much as possible. Saying yes out of guilt has literally caused hair loss and a baseline level of resting anxiety I wouldn’t wish upon my enemies.
THANK YOU
I’m intrigued to see the experiences in addition to the information to make this fit for purpose for each individual. As you said, having more books with data is not particularly helpful. I have stacks of books I have read and notebooks full of reminders and only when I process the info and start sharing my personal experiences and explaining the concept to others, does it really stick.
This is going to be a life changing book (serial) for me ! I am just like Neil and Tim were ! I love to people please and permanently dislike myself for it ! Great idea to not just make it a read but a do !
I love all the things you do and have been a fan since episode one. This book feels very elite and for privileged/rich people who have a “team,” What about us with bad bosses and not being a tech mogul who runs the show. I know your audience centers on that demographic but I hope this book isn’t just for people who have made millions like you.
A book we all need. Thanks Tim & Neil!
I can’t wait to read more. I’ve paid the “yes tax” (a favor becomes another part-time, unpaid, job) at my own peril for decades. Write faster Tim and Neil. Did I just hear a “no”. Best!
I love your work!!! So excited for this. Would love to see some contributions from people who have said NO to common things for kids in order to raise kids differently than the rest of society. Possible examples… organized activities/sports, traditional schooling, tech, social media, etc.
Love the use of story. Pulled me right in! I couldn’t say no to reading it 🙂
What about cultures where saying “no” is perceived as a ‘loss of face’, whereby people say “yes” but then don’t follow through? As a child in England, I was taught to suffix “no” with “thank you” to soften the blow. Is it in Hungary where “no” masquerades as “yes”? Misinterpreting (judged wilful disregard) a “no” as a “yes” can get someone (a man, usually) banged-up in jail for rape! Saying “no”, meaning “no”, and communicating clearly, without ambiguity, is important.
Wow, you and Neil are nailing it! There were quotes that screamed out to me (noted). Could you also cover regret related to saying no? While I work really hard to move on I do ruminate over no decisions and what ifs…
Looking forward to being a beta reader!
P.S. I also had to read the “mirror” sentence a few times to get it.
“The book is designed to meet you where you are on your no journey and take you further than you think possible.”
Current State:
“The more we can say no to the things that don’t serve us, the more we are living our purpose.
And I am failing at my life purpose.”
Work:
“Saying yes to other people’s priorities made mine vanish like sand through my fingers.”
“It’s easy—the universal default—to get pulled into the quicksand of half-hearted yesses and promiscuous overcommitment, ending up stressed and reactive, wondering where your time has gone.”
Family:
“I come from a family full of lovely and conflict-avoidant folks. This isn’t true for everyone in the extended clan, but it’s enough for my default to be people-pleasing. Or, more accurately, people-fearing—”
“I grew up in a home where saying no wasn’t an option. A no would get you a stern lecture, a long grounding, or worst of all, a withdrawal of love. So as an adult, I became existentially terrified that every no would come with some sort of blowback, such as losing a friendship, an opportunity, or someone’s good will.”
Friends:
“And if you don’t respond to the Janets of the world within fifteen minutes, you get the inevitable “Are you okay?” or “Are you upset at me?” message. Or even worse, the insidious “???””
“To her, a yes is a legally binding agreement. A maybe is a yes. And a no is the beginning of a guilt trip that ends when you fold and say maybe—which she then takes to mean yes, making it a legally binding agreement.”
Future state:
“Dramatically changing your nos will dramatically change your life.”
What excites me about this book is how it’s being released by two writing partners and engaging community along the way. As a CDM (chief decision maker) of my family, I’m fascinated by this topic as I make decisions for myself and family 24/7. I’ll take all the help I can get to be better at it and to reduce its drag.
I’m also always amazed by Tims writing and how he makes it relatable even when I’m fairly certain that demands for his time far exceed mine. I’m excited for this project!
I’d like to hear more about why you said “yes” after releasing 4-Hour Workweek. It seems like “yes” can lead to experiences that may help you decide what you really want later in life. Is “no” a tool that should be applied after developing your own empirical preferences?
I won’t say ‘No’ to this😉 and even if I’ve learned the wrong way to say ‘Yes’ to everything I can’t say ‘No’, I still have a lot to learn. Not to say ‘No’ but to handle ‘Yes’ as just a choice. I still have the feeling that the choice sometimes is even harder than to say ‘No’.
Very excited to stay tuned as each chapter is released! Currently going through Tools of Titans.
My best,
DES
Understanding No and the power and peace it gives a person is a great strength.
Also receiving a No to me has meant..
Now Now as I try to strive for goals in life.
I would not be as successful as I am had I accepted the No’s put in my path!
The information/data we use to decide on a yes/no response: how we make sure we are using rational facts rather than irrational emotions.
Opening an English book where the first chapter is titled in German would have me buying it. I love the language and how you picked that particular word to summarize your topic! Excited to see how you address mind shift changes: for example when everyone does equate happiness with busyness and here you are battling to stay slow and intentional. How do you get to that confident-in-your-own-path mindset? Absolutely love your work and podcast. You ask the exact questions we listeners were just wondering next. It’s uncanny.
Please publish the whole dang thing. I’m opening a book store this year and I need to carry this and all of your books. I know I’m ten years behind the curve but someone recommended Tools of Titans to me last year and it’s the reason I’m opening my own business. I can’t wait to read the whole thing.
I really enjoyed your emails for the first few months then simply started deleting them. Rather than unsubscribe I always had a belief that a Absolute Cracker was Coming soon. So as I was about to delete yet again…….something fuck only knows prompted me to read this one. Fantastic Content & Huge Thanks to a fellow Say No Brother! Many Many thanks Tim !
Hey Tim,
First I would love to be a part of your experiment group. I want to say, love this chapter. This is exactly what the world needs right now. This is what I need. A couple of thoughts for your book, which you may have already addressed in your saved work. I am a health coach, so I hear people’s questions and concerns a lot. Here are three questions for your book if you want to consider them. What does “yes” look like? Many people repress what they really want. The question of what is your “yes” is a stumper. Could you expound on it in this book? Secondly, could there be a focus on saying “no” that is specific to people who do get noticed for their work like you did? Lastly, can you separately address a different group of people saying “no”? The everyday people who are busy because they got married, moved cities, or had a baby. Typical things that no one tells us can double our contact list and expectations from others.
I read the two chapters. I will likely read the next two. I’m hoping there might be a chapter tying together the importance of mastering NO in regards to optimizing health, especially reaching and maintaining a healthy weight and fitness level. (All my Yeses aren’t doing the trick… )Thanks. Best of luck with this format of book release.
Big fan of all things Tim, but first comment that I’ve ever posted. Thrilled to have heard about the new book and learned by way of 5BF. Comments Ch 1: RESOUNDING YES to the book of NO. New and interesting angle to have Neil’s collaboration. I’m sure I’m not alone in being able to immediately relate with his story, and I’m glad that he’ll be a part of the journey. This concept is solid. The message is needed. I can’t wait to read more. This will be a game changer for a lot people. Thank you guys!
The better you know yourself and what you have to offer, it would seem easy to say no to opportunities that fall outside of your gifting. You have to say yes to become known and then once known, you can start saying no. Most of us have very little impact outside of our small circle of influence. I can still say yes more than no because it doesn’t consume me like it would for you, Tim. You have a famous person problem which makes me smile. Your words and message have been blessed on this side of eternity. Well done! Say no so you can continue to say yes to opportunities to solidify your legacy and to stay true to your identity.
Looking forward to reading it! Loved the intro. I need this book! I am looking for the two sample chapters that Friday’s 5 Bullet Friday said were included in the post….
Physical book please!
Perhaps I’m missing something but if I’m reading this correctly, there will be no physical book? Bummed about that part as a bookstore owner, but personally still looking forward to it.
After all these years I trust your process and whatever is put out in whatever form will be what it ought to be, and I’m excited to read! Also brought to mind Ellen Langer who posits that there’s no right or wrong decisions, so “make the decision right.”
Hi Tim,
I’m genuinely excited about *The No Book*—it feels like it’s arriving at the perfect time. As with your previous books, I’m looking forward to learning not just the actionable strategies but also the underlying principles that help cultivate clarity in decision-making. For me, the biggest challenge isn’t just saying “no” but identifying the *right* “yeses.” I love the idea of this book helping to reframe priorities so that saying “no” becomes a natural extension of focusing on what truly matters.
I also imagine this is the kind of book to be savored rather than rushed—something to revisit throughout the year as I process and experiment with the concepts. It’s exciting to think about how these ideas might evolve as they are applied to real-life situations.
Thank you for tackling such a deeply relevant topic. In a world overwhelmed by distractions and noise, this feels like a much-needed toolkit for modern living. I’m sure this book will spark some transformative conversations, and I can’t wait to be a part of them.
Wishing you and Neil great success with this project—thank you for all the work you both do to create meaningful change!
Excited to keep reading more…I need this now more than ever!
Excited for this. Love the idea of the serial release of a written book (talk about synergy between mediums… OTR/podcast multi-episode storytelling/reporting applied to written word. Kudos once again for shaking things up in a totally attainable way).
I would most want to learn how to have and win (what seems to me) the very necessary debate with my current YES self why a 180 pivot to saying NO is actually the best path to take for all the reasons and HOW to actually choose that path over old patterns.
I say yes because of three things:
Look forward to the opportunity to learn from your amazing research, connections, personal sacrifice, and thinking.
I canNOt wait for this book!!
I’m failing at NO
Please make a beta tester
or If you need a Proof reader.
I won’t say No to this.
This sounds very interesting. I’m in. I have a love hate relationship with Tim’s content. The volume can be overwhelming, even in the podcasts, so I often take extended breaks from Tim (I guess that’s a form of “No”). I’m very interested in this new book, especially hoping there’s a page or two on figuring out what is a “Yes” that’s good enough to say no to everything else…I think they’ve already made that a big selling point, which is why I’m commenting, a rarity for me.
Loved the first two chapters. Excited to read more. I implement Tim’s “It’s either a hell yeah or no” all the time and look forward to learning more of his strategies.
I’m deeply grateful to Tim and Neil for their transformative impact on countless lives, including my own. While I eagerly await the valuable insights their upcoming book will offer, I recognize that for many of us, saying ‘no’ is just one piece of the larger puzzle. The greater challenge often lies in developing the discipline to follow through on our ‘yes’ commitments and, crucially, in learning how to set meaningful goals in the first place.
Perhaps a future book could address this complete framework for living: the art of saying no, the discipline of following through on yes, and the wisdom of goal-setting—all in service of building a life that’s meaningful, worthwhile, happy, healthy, and fulfilling.
Meanwhile, congratulations on the new book, and thank you both for your continued work.
I can’t wait to read this book, I’m just honestly surprised its on this topic. As a long time listen of your podcast, I thought this book was going to have some them related to managing mental health disorders such as depression, anxiety, etc..
For this book, I don’t know what I don’t know, so I’m not really sure what I’m going to learn from you, so its hard to provide suggestions on what the book should be. My only question is, how are you going to tie the topic to mental health, which as I said earlier, was what I thought the theme of your latest book was going to be.
Hey Tim and Team,
Thanks for putting this out there.
Back in 2016, I started a business with a mate. Fast forward to now—he’s moved on to bigger and better things, and I’m still here, juggling three semi-failed ventures we kicked off with others. It’s safe to say I’ve spent way too much time saying yes to the wrong things and not nearly enough to what really matters.
Now, I’ve got a killer new business plan that I know will work. But to make it happen, I’ve got to cut the noise and ditch the distractions.
Your blog post about The No Book hit me hard. This is exactly what I need right now. Beyond work, I want to drink less, get fitter, and be in top shape for ski season. Basically, I’m ready to reset and focus—but I could use a framework to help me stay on track.
If you’re looking for someone to put The No Book into action, I’m happy to share the messy, honest, and (hopefully) inspiring process with your readers.
Tim,
Will the book delve deeper into the mechanics behind the big ‘No’ and return of the huge advance that Neil mentions in the Intro?
Sounds like there’s a hell of story within that story.
Mental strength and coping skills during a heart break is what I would love to learn about
Using the f word is not cool oredgy. But it is superfluous adding nothing to the meaning of the sentence
Congratulations on the book, Tim.
I’d love to be a beta tester! This sounds like the perfect book at the perfect time for me.
Love the concept but not sure I love the title. The book feels like a hybrid between the 4Hour work week and an often recommended book, the passion paradox.
I think the title change could be a bit of a play on words like;
The know no book
The no how book
The book of knowing
The book of no-ing
Thanks for all that you and your team have done and created. I know my little corner of the world is better because of it.
So looking forward to reading this. Your books are always spectacular, some I have re-read at least a few times. Congratulations, this book will no doubt be a huge success. Thank you for always attempting to help people think, try and grow through all that you share.
As you probably know, Tim, we book editors have a number of creative ways to say no to submissions we don’t like. Two of my favorites are these: “Your covers are too far apart” and “Attached please find a match you can use for the proper disposition of your manuscript.”
You had me at “Can you think of a recent example where you said yes to something you shouldn’t have?” he asked. I’m ready to order the book.
I’m laying in bed in France 13 years after moving here due in great part to The Four Hour Work Week. Successful in my endeavors and stressed out and over worked. Too many meetings, emails, teams messages, obligations and a feeling at the end of the day drained and too tired to fix it.
This books feels like the follow up for the 20 something who loved the 4 hour work week and is now the 40 something that is too tired to plan a mini retirement.
Where do I sign up?
I’m looking forward to this book, particularly around A) learning how to say “no” while not coming across as a jerk or insensitive (but it still being a solid no) and B) how to say “no” when there’s an emotional/guilt factor in play.
Hey, Tim!
Great to hear about the next book. The first excerpt is definitely enticing.
What caught my interest most was getting better at decision making. As someone well into his career, saying NO is something I’ve had to work on and have made good progress at work. But as a parent of early and mid teens? The rare few decisions are easy, some seem impossible, but a good majority just take a lot of energy. Also, imparting good decision making skills to my kids is critical and occupies a fair bit of my time.
Anywho, just my two cents – decision making…
How will it better than The Power of a Positive No? by William Ury
I’d love to see an update to 4 hour workweek!
Counting the days until this one comes out—Tim Ferriss AND Neil Strauss with exercises to help me stop people-pleasing and get better at saying no? I’m in.
Perfect topic for me, can’t say no (although I just did…). Always end up with a full calendar, taking on more than I should, because « I can do the task », or so I think. Result is panic, cancelling frenzy and high cortisol. Looking forward for the exercices 🙂
Incredible piece! I’ve been in the community since… ~2015. Closing in on a decade. From the books to the cock punch nfts – i’ve been in your corner. 🐓
Ironically, of all the books, podcasts, thining you’ve put into the world… I’ve returned to one piece more than most. Which is this one – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyM7vi1HMvM&t=605s
IT’S SO HARD. Still… to this day after rewatching the video… trying to apply these practices… adding “Say No” as a morning reminder to set the tone for the day… After getting a “No” button for my desk. The two pieces of feedback my manager shared with me this cycle after a 5/5 review was… learn to say no to asks for your time.
I’ve yet to crack this code after years… Looking forward to reading the subsequent, serialized chapters (brilliant experiment btw). Would love to be included in any beta / early reading sessions / experiments.
I love this. Can’t wait to read more. One thing: it would be easier to comprehend if you always italicized “no” when you use it as a noun. For example, he is a guru of no.
I like the slow release, building a community of beta testers, and particularly love the “opt out” text that says Tim Ferris will stop doing what isn’t working. Pretty good testimony to practicing what you preach. I look forward to being a “tester” of the product and the community.
The concept I love. And I’m excited to read on.
In the past you haven’t shied away from the perception of the opposite sex, so i would love a chapter/ discussion on how when a woman says “No” she is often given a different perception than if a man says no. “No” -saying women, sometimes no matter the tone are seen as bitches, stand-offish, non-team players, over dramatic etc. And not only by the opposite sex, but by the same sex as well.
I’m not saying all the time, but it happens, and to hear the psyche on how to handle that would be a good discussion I think.
Thanks for your time!
Bring it on!
500+ pages of how to say ‘No’ sounds like an overwhelming way of dealing with overwhelm. But I love all of your books, so I’m intrigued and excited. Ovewhlem is a constant daily problem for most of us, so I look forward to the journey!
Reading this was like taking a huge sigh, as I lower down into a bubble bath. It makes so much sense that in order to decrease anxiety and increase fulfilment you can work on how to utilise the “no” in order to leverage the life affirming “yes”s .. I am very much looking forward to reading more. Thanks
“Decision-making is your life” resonates so strongly. Indeed, it is all about how we make decisions and what we say No to. The topic of decision-making, which in my mind includes asking better questions to better understand both the situation and your own feelings and thoughts is fascinating to me. I am very curious about people-fearing vs people-pleasing … looking forward to reading more
Regarding to find the big 5 YESSS, what’s that different then IKIGAI?
Can’t say NO to this book! Tim is doing it again.
Not sure if this applies or is relevant to the new book coming out content-wise, but I’d really love to learn how to A) sell myself for a new job position without feeling like I’m selling myself out / quasi-lying or embellishing, and B) Once I have a new job, how to be able to still be ME, but in a stuffy corporate environment (& still have fun / be respected).
Sorry – just got laid off, so this is paramount on my mind.
REALLY stoked for the new book, Tim!! CONGRATS!!
I think the actionable information for saying NO, can be very helpful in my everyday living. I am recently 60 and dealing with it seems more and more health issues. My issues are the invisible types where on the outside I look fine but am dealing with some real inside uncomfortable challenges. I need to pull back and give myself self care. I find saying NO to certain friends about get togethers is very difficult and when I try to get honest and share my health challenges I just come out on the other end feeling like it did not go over well. Then I play this stupid game where I worry about their self judgement of me, and I say to myself this was supposed to be about my physical and mental self care and none of this is productive or helpful. Long story short I look forward to reading about strategies of NO. I think this is much needed material. I love Tim’s pods so look forward to any work he is associated with for enlightenment and self care.
Can’t wait for the next release of chapters!