“My tardiness in answering your letter was not due to press of business. Do not listen to that sort of excuse; I am at liberty, and so is anyone else who wishes to be at liberty. No man is at the mercy of affairs. He gets entangled in them of his own accord, and then flatters himself that being busy is a proof of happiness.”
— Seneca
“I was always ashamed to take. So I gave. It was not a virtue. It was a disguise.”
— Anaïs Nin
For me, 2025 will be a year of shipping new things. There’s lots in the hopper.
Today, I’m pleased to announce my first book in more than seven years.
It’s been in the works for a long time and is currently 500+ pages. This time around, I’ll be doing things very differently.
The book, tentatively titled THE NO BOOK, is a blueprint for how to get everything you want by saying no to everything you don’t. Don’t let the title mislead you; it’s probably the most life-affirming book I’ve ever written.
It details the exact strategies, philosophies, word-for-word scripts, tech, and more that I and others use to create focus, calm, and meaning in a world of overwhelming noise.
THE NO BOOK contains all of the best tricks and tools that I’ve collected over the last 15 years, in addition to those of world-class performers. Lots of my friends make cameos, and I’m sharing details that I’ve kept closely guarded until now. If you’ve wanted to know how my life and business work with only three full-time employees, this will show you.
What else is different about this book?
– Though I drafted the bones years ago, I brought in a close friend as a co-writer and co-experimenter. This is my first time ever collaborating on a book, and it’s been an amazing and hilarious adventure. I’m thrilled with the results, and I’ve never seen anything quite like it.
– Unlike my last five books, we’re going to first release this one serially, one chapter or a handful of chapters at a time.
– We will also create a community for early readers, who will be able to read and experiment together, support one another, and provide us with feedback on the book. We want people to change their lives with this book, and for that, reading isn’t enough. It must be applied, and we feel that the community, combined with serial release, will help produce real action with real results.
– The plan may change. In keeping with the theme of the book, if the community or serial release turn into more headache than fun, or more emergency brake than accelerator, we’ll renegotiate and try something else.
– To read THE NO BOOK first and get other exclusives, you just need to subscribe to my free 5-Bullet Friday newsletter. That’s where the magic will happen. It’s easy to unsubscribe anytime.
***
Now, I don’t want to give too many spoilers, and the exact timeline will be announced soon, but I won’t leave you without a sample.
Two chapters are coming up tout de suite.
But first, what of that collaborator?
Well, he made an appearance in The 4-Hour Body when I force-fed him into gaining muscle, but he’s better known as the ten-time New York Times best-selling author of The Game, The Dirt, Emergency, and others. He’s written liner notes for Nirvana and received hate mail from Phil Collins. He did a decade-long tour of duty at The New York Times, wrote cover stories for Rolling Stone, and almost got killed by an ax-wielding polyamorous lunatic in The Truth. He and I even have the same haircut.
Most relevant here, he busted my balls for not finishing this book sooner, and that’s how we ended up here.
So why don’t I let him tell the story in his words?
INTRODUCTION
By Neil Strauss
The goal of life is to make good decisions.
And decisions are the simplest thing in the world. They just consist of a single choice between two words: yes or no.
Through this binary choice, much like the way a computer builds digital worlds out of 0s and 1s, we create our destiny.
These two options, however, are not created equal. There is just a tiny sliver of the world that we have the time to experience. So, we are called to filter through the nearly infinite spectrum of all that is available to us… and say no to almost everything. The more we can say no to the things that don’t serve us, the more we are living our purpose.
And I am failing at my life purpose.
I say yes to fucking everything.
This is why I decided to help write this book. Not just to help you but to help me reclaim my life.
When I was trying to decide what to share in this introduction, I called Tim for his thoughts.
“Can you think of a recent example where you said yes to something you shouldn’t have?” he asked.
My ex-wife was sitting next to me and it took her 1.5 seconds to come up with an example: “Janet’s costume party tonight.”
We all probably have a Janet in our lives. She is so pushy and persistent, in the kindest and most enthusiastic way, that I have trouble saying no to her. To her, a yes is a legally binding agreement. A maybe is a yes. And a no is the beginning of a guilt trip that ends when you fold and say maybe—which she then takes to mean yes, making it a legally binding agreement.
“So just cancel,” Tim wisely suggested.
“I can’t,” I replied unwisely.
“See?” Ingrid gloated. “I rest my case.”
Her case was indeed rested. On my guilty conscience.
I grew up in a home where saying no wasn’t an option. A no would get you a stern lecture, a long grounding, or worst of all, a withdrawal of love. So as an adult, I became existentially terrified that every no would come with some sort of blowback, such as losing a friendship, an opportunity, or someone’s good will. And now I give my time—and my life—away, sometimes to people who have been publicly shitty to me. They call this trauma bonding. It’s my specialty.
Not like Tim.
Tim is the master of no. As I write this in mid-October 2023, his text messages have an auto-response that reads:
I’m traveling overseas until Nov 7. If your text is urgent, please reach out to someone on my team. Otherwise, please resend your text after Nov 7 if it still applies. Since catching up would be impossible, I’ll be deleting all messages upon my return and starting from scratch. Thank you.
Deleting three weeks worth of messages! That is boss-level no.
It’s basically saying: The message you sent me is your priority, not automatically mine.
It’s a screaming yes to life.
It is truly an act of courage to not worry about how every single person who receives that text is going to react to being deleted. And this is just a small, everyday example of Tim’s time mastery. Here’s how incredible Tim is at saying no at a world-record level:
Five years ago, he called to tell me he was writing a book on how to say no. He wanted me to contribute an essay to it.
I didn’t have time to help out. So of course I shut it down with these four words: “Yes, I’ll do it!”
I didn’t want Tim to be mad at me or stop asking me to contribute to his books or abandon me as a friend and talk shit about me to Naval Ravikant.
Afterward, I spent a week writing a chapter for his project, and grumbling about how I should be spending the time working on my own book. After all, people pleasers like me live in constant resentment. We blame other people’s requests for our bad decisions.
I finished the essay and sent it to Tim, as did many others. Tim sent some follow-up questions, just to take up more of our time and make sure we regretted our decision, then he did something incredible:
He said no… to the whole book!
He has so thoroughly mastered the art that he actually said no to the book on no. And then went on to return the largest book advance he’d ever been given.
Wow, that was an impressive act of self-preservation. While it may take you five days to read a book, it can take him three years to write and research it. That’s three years of his life he gained back with a single no.
There was just one problem: I needed the book. As did so many others. It’s a war zone out here. Our devices and apps, even some of our home appliances, are constantly studying us, determining how to focus more of our attention on their business models. Under the guise of helping us, they drown us in inboxes, notifications, and alerts, synced to phones, tablets, watches, even our cars. And if you don’t respond to the Janets of the world within fifteen minutes, you get the inevitable “Are you okay?” or “Are you upset at me?” message. Or even worse, the insidious “???”
Whether the challenge is the phone, other people, or our own compulsions, most of us need help saying no to what doesn’t matter and drains our life energy. So, I reached out and told Tim that if he didn’t want to finish the book, I would.
On the condition that he could cancel the whole endeavor anytime he liked with one no, he eventually sent me a 72,000-word Scrivener file of his notes, thoughts, writings, and collected information. I then set about organizing it into a book that would help myself and others live a more meaningful, connected, purpose-driven life by following the path of no.
But simply dispensing rejections isn’t the goal. You need amazing things worth defending. The path of no is also the path of selective yesses. This book is a guide to finding the critical few among the trivial many.
It’s about finding the big yesses in our lives. Just a few. These may be people, partners, projects, places, and passions—yesses so incredibly fulfilling that they enable us to say no to everything else. In fact, you only have to get a few big yesses right to live a deeply successful and joyful life.
The book that follows was put together by the two of us from Tim’s notes and experiences; further discussions and research; lots of hilarious video calls; and contributions from other gurus of no, some of whom actually said no to us. We have included their rejections in the book as templates. Unless otherwise stated, every chapter and first-person anecdote that follows is from Tim’s perspective.
Hopefully by the end of this guide, we can all learn that there is a highway to happiness. And the borders that keep us on it, that prevent us from straying into the abyss of meaninglessness, are paved with the word no.
TORSCHLUSSPANIK
By Tim Ferriss
I first realized I had a problem when everything was going right for me.
The day was May 2, 2007, just after 5:30 p.m. in New York, when I received a phone call I’ll never forget. My editor at Random House wanted to inform me that my debut book, The 4-Hour Workweek, had hit The New York Times bestseller list.
As her words sunk in, I staggered backward and collapsed against the wall in shock, gratitude, and relief. Overnight, I was transformed from a guy begging people to answer his emails to someone on the other side. All kinds of requests and offers poured in. Speaking gigs, interviews, consulting, partnerships, brand deals—it was a tsunami.
Flattered, unprepared, and afraid this might be my only 15 minutes of fame, I said “yes” to nearly everything, especially anything six, nine, or twelve months off in the distance. My calendar seemed like pristine water, clear as crystal for a brief lull. Then I had to pay the piper.
Rarely in the same place for more than a week, I felt more like Willy Loman in Death of a Salesman than a jet-setting rock star. My assistants and I were getting hammered with hundreds, then thousands, of emails per day. 90% of the time, I had no idea how people got my private email addresses. We were drowning.
The irony was that my systems worked great. It was pure operator error.
In the deluge, I had slipped from a mindset of JOMO (Joy of Missing Out) and following my own priorities, to a mindset of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and reactively grasping at shiny objects and shiny people. I was succumbing to what the Germans call Torschlusspanik: literally, “door-closing panic.”
The term comes from the time of walled medieval cities, when the gates would close at night—and any resident left outside would be forced to fend for themselves. Getting through those doors often meant survival.
In survival mode, I panicked. I stopped following my own rules. Once I made the first exception, the game was lost. It was death by a thousand paper cuts.
So, what the hell happened? Why didn’t I see it coming?
These habits are formed early and embed themselves deeply. I come from a family full of lovely and conflict-avoidant folks. This isn’t true for everyone in the extended clan, but it’s enough for my default to be people-pleasing. Or, more accurately, people-fearing—a distinction we’ll dive into later.
Before the publication of my book, with little inbound, the effects of people-pleasing were negligible. I came up with wild plans, went out hunting for opportunities, cold-emailed people to pitch ideas, and knocked things off my to-do list. After the success of the book, with 1000x more inbound, the effects of people-pleasing were catastrophic. The underlying fear and guilt came out in full force and wreaked havoc. I was being emailed and called by a Genghis Khan army of versions of myself (surprise, bitch!), and I didn’t have a playbook. Saying yes to other people’s priorities made mine vanish like sand through my fingers.
It took a while to unwind and figure out that I was doing it all wrong.
Twelve months later, I had stemmed a good portion of the blood loss. It was only possible because I had found a big YES that allowed me to focus and say no to at least 50% of the noise:
Startups.
I used the book’s popularity with technologists to begin investing in and advising startups, and I soon moved to San Francisco to be in the center of the action. The timing was good, and I had incredible luck (Shopify, Facebook, Twitter, Uber, Alibaba, and more).
One afternoon, I found myself in the office of a CEO and friend. His company would later become one of the fastest-growing startups in history. That day, he was calm as usual, despite the chaos and noise of Market Street a few floors below. Once we’d caught up on the latest developments, the conversation meandered into productivity systems, and I asked how he thought about managing email. He spun his laptop around on his desk to show me his Gmail account. Once my eyes adjusted, I stood there slack-jawed, fixated on one thing:
84,000+ unread email.
Smiling at my shock, he said, “Inbox zero is a fallacy.”
Completely unfazed, he went on to explain a few policies he had. He ignored 99% of what came in. For much of what remained, his answer was a short, “Not up my alley. Thanks.”
If 10 different but appealing people asked him to grab dinner, he would invite those 10 people to a group dinner and kill many birds with one stone.
If he wanted to preserve political capital but decrease contact with certain people, he’d do the “slow fade”: He might first reply to them in 5 days, then 10 days, and then 20 days. “They will stop asking,” he noted.
Clearly, there were levels to filtering, and then there were levels to filtering. I took a photograph of his 84,000 unread count as a reminder.
Right after that meeting, I created a digital swipe file called “polite declines” in Evernote, a product made by another startup I advised. Starting that week in 2009, if anyone said no in a way that struck me as elegant or clever, I saved it. If a rejection somehow made me feel good, I saved it. If someone had great policies on their contact form, I saved it. If I came across a trick, tool, or philosophical reset for saying no—whether over a meal, via email, or at the airport—I saved it.
This book contains the highlights from that swipe file.
It’s taken me an embarrassingly long time to implement the advice here, but I’ve found rules, systems, and tools that make life a lot easier. Of course, these strategies apply to dealing with other people, including strangers, loose ties, and family. But they also apply to managing ourselves, especially those glitches in our mental operating system that act against our best interests.
I’ve also found ways to idiot-proof things and bring the lifeboat closer, such that when you do slip into overcommitting (it’ll happen), it’s one step to recovery instead of ten.
This book was originally written like my other books (i.e., Tim tests everything, writes about what works, then publishes), until I called Neil to see how a rewrite was coming on a rough draft.
“Hey, Tim, I’m in Copenhagen,” he screamed over a cacophony of background noise. “I’m at this conference I agreed to speak at, but now I’m hosting the whole thing, and it’s been taking up all my time.”
“That’s not good. I hope they’re paying you well.”
“They’re not paying me anything.” He paused and sighed. “And you’re not going to believe this, but I told the guy running the conference he could stay at my house when he’s in LA next month.”
“You what?! Has this book been working for you at all?”
He stammered a response, and we both came to realize that for a die-hard people pleaser, information and templates aren’t enough. As my friend Derek Sivers puts it, “If more information were the answer, then we’d all be billionaires with perfect abs.”
So, we rebuilt the book from the ground up as a daily, step-by-step experience with readings, exercises, and a complete plan that is relentlessly action-focused.
The first test subject was Neil. As he went through these exercises and steps, he added his own experiences, notes, and struggles. Afterward, seeing the eventual transformation, it’s clear that if you do the work, this book really, really works. The book is designed to meet you where you are on your no journey and take you further than you think possible.
And unlike most self-help programs, there is no set of one-size-fits-all rules. Through these readings and exercises, you will pick up a toolkit that is uniquely your own, tailored to your specific goals, challenges, strengths, and weaknesses. Some chapters won’t be for you, but some will be especially for you.
The No Book is a Trojan Horse for becoming better at decision-making writ large. Decision-making is your life.
Everything from a job offer to a marriage proposal is a yes to one thing and a no to hundreds of thousands of other opportunities. It’s easy—the universal default—to get pulled into the quicksand of half-hearted yesses and promiscuous overcommitment, ending up stressed and reactive, wondering where your time has gone.
The No Book re-examines how we navigate our finite path. It will help you build a benevolent phalanx—a protective wall of troops—that guard your goals, your relationships, and more, making everything more easeful.
As you get deeper into this book, you’ll begin to realize that how you handle no mirrors how you handle almost everything in life. Dramatically changing your nos will dramatically change your life.
If Neil can fix his Copenhagen debacle and do a 180—which he did—the sky is the limit.
So let’s start building you some wings.
###
Want to read more for free? Just sign up for 5-Bullet Friday. Tons coming soon.
P.S. Any thoughts or suggestions? Please let me know in the comments below! Comments here are far better than social media, as I’ll actually see them. And thanks for reading this far.
Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That's how we're gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you're rude, we'll delete your stuff. Please do not put your URL in the comment text and please use your PERSONAL name or initials and not your business name, as the latter comes off like spam. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation! (Thanks to Brian Oberkirch for the inspiration.)
Not directly related to the blog here, but in the related Facebook post, there appears to be someone impersonating Tim, and responding to posts with an invitation to call a WhatsApp number.
I hope you can block them.
Regards
Margaret
Thank you, Margaret!
Best,
Team Tim Ferriss
Yes, please… 🙂
Really looking forward to this! I would love to see specific chapters on saying ‘no’ to…:
I would love to try out the book chapters as a beta tester !! I’m sure there are lots of areas I can cover 😉
I’ve been trying to follow the “if it isn’t a hell yes, then it’s a no” rule for a while now, but could definitely use some practical advice and tested strategies. Looking forward to the next installment!
Someone on the come-up wants to say “yes” to as much as reasonably (and topically) possible to expand networking opportunities and provide value to others in hopes of growing and expanding and ultimately becoming established. Some nuance and context as to how best to navigate “no” while on the come-up could prove incredibly useful to anyone ambitiously seeking to grow and expand in a perhaps more optimized (and sane) manner. Thanks!
Double thumbs up. Looking forward to your new book Tim! Such a worthy topic with all the distractions of this modern day.
Nit: Ingrid is presumably Neil’s ex-wife? Her name suddenly shows up here, without being mentioned previously. “See?” Ingrid gloated. “I rest my case.” You could easily substitute “my ex-wife gloated” or else mention “my ex-wife Ingrid” earlier. Not a huge deal, but I found this discordant, and it shouldn’t be something the reader pays attention to.
Looking forward to more!
As a person in my late fifties, I feel the press of time more acutely now than I did in my 20s and 30s. I’d love for you to include the perspective of older people in your book, especially when it comes to understanding what might be worth saying no to so as to reap better things in older age. Thanks for your work!
No, I am not going to read this book…wait, yes I am (haha) though it may go against what you will end up teaching me through this outstanding addition that nearly everyone of us needs to live to our fullest! Thank you for being daring enough once more!
Ow I need to know how to have automated responses to text messages – I thought this was impossible?
The Introduction and Tim’s chapter posted here are both awesome and I’m psyched to read the book.
Curious about the serial release structure. Admittedly I feel some anxiety and a bit of dread when I think about what exercises/assignments there will be (ie what am I committing to? What if I don’t have time? Etc…) But I appreciate advice that can be put into action real-time and realize these exercises are the best way to prompt the reader to engage and reap the benefits.
Thanks Tim!
I cannot wait to see the rest if this book. As usual the writing is engaging and interesting. A very close friend of mine is a billionaire and mentor. He taught me years ago about the importance of saying no. I still have not mastered it! The skill of no is one of our great superpowers, if we are able to embrace it fully. It’s akin to the superpower of keeping your mouth shut during a negotiation. Much love. ~ Pastor Nick702, Blessed Road Ministry
Fantastic! What a unique collaboration!
Really interested Tim and Neil – the topic could not be more relevant and timely. So many elements come to mind. Would love to see how you reflect on how key aspects of modern life drive the expectations of constant engagement (to include 24/7 markets, the influence of COVID, emerging tech, and job competition); how society justifies and excuses the overgrown sense of social entitlement to personal time and attention; the different reasons we need to say no at different points in our lives and the human needs behind them (social development, child care, elder care, illness, etc) and which reasons are considered socially acceptable, which aren’t and strategies to say no in those situations where it won’t be accepted well if they were to know why; the socioeconomic strata that determines who is ‘permitted’ or respected enough to be able to say no without deep consequences (wealth is usually protective in this arena); how we can tell where our internal drive for no is coming from (inertia, fear, deep knowledge, etc) and how to tell which ones to listen to (and conversely which yesses will help drive the growth we want and need); strategies for hearing our voices amid the cacophony of all other demands for attention; ways to identify what you truly want in life beyond outside influences; how to identify what is meaningful within social context but without social bias; ways that disempowered populations can say no with dignity and maintain personal respect (including minorities, marginalized peoples, children, elderly, etc); how those with histories of trauma or people pleasing can recover without feeling a sense of threat when they say no; where the learning and iteration takes place through it all. I could go on! So looking forward to the way your collaboration filters through the book – it will most certainly be more than a sum of its parts! Would welcome joining the beta group too. Thank you for writing this.
This makes my YES list. Cheers to NO.
I want to share my auto-reply from when I was on maternity leave. It was a “No”, but in a way that felt on brand for me.
“Subject: Maternity leave (expect no reply)
Hi there,
I just had a baby girl (and she is wonderful). I’m taking time away to spend with her and my husband.
Make it easy on future me (the one who has to go through an overwhelming inbox), and assume I won’t respond unless you follow up again. I plan on being back by end of September, so please reach out again then!
Thanks,
Lauralynn”
Excited to see this drop in chunks. Wondering if the beta reading group is already selected or if you’re still sorting that out. It would be an honor to be on that crew.
Assuming if we already subscribe to 5-Bullet Friday newsletter, we don’t need to sign up anywhere else to see more.
Love both Neil’s and Tim’s writing, so eager to read this.
Curious if this will be applicable to 9-5 folks living in corporate america climbing the ladder. Maybe i’ll quit my job! Looking forward to reading more, thanks Tim and Company.
Tim
I loved the idea of the “No book” when you first mentioned it on the pod. I can even tell you the street I was driving on when you said it (Cleveland St in Sydney) however I can’t tell you anything you said on the pod after mentioning the book. Your off the cuff comment inspired a long internal dialogue about when and how often I said No.
I came to the same conclusion then as I did when reading the above introductions. I just don’t get that many requests and I am already fairly picky about what I accept. Maybe I am lucky or maybe I have been burnt enough already.
I think any book needs to recognize that there are different levels of inundation with requests. The “before your best selling book” and “after” if you wish.
That said for those of us that have the standard amount of crap arrive on our plates each day it would still be ultra useful for us to learn to focus on the important stuff and not the shinny stuff. When do we say Yes and all the rest of the time say no (politely). There is true power in being able to do that well. I am still trying to discover the difference.
All the best with the book. I look forward to reading it.
I am so happy the book is coming out soon! It sounds awesome and is exactly part of the road I have been traveling lately. Having breast cancer has brought into focus more I am saying no to and what is truly important. Thank you for writing this!
And thank you for continuing to share your journey through the years on the podcast. It has been a huge help to me.
This is exciting! I am a startup coach and this fits 1000% into one of the central themes of what founders need. Love the sample here already!!
Does an individual’s context or life situation impact on how much you need to say no? E.g., it strikes me that pre-4-hour workweek Tim would have needed to say yes a lot while post-4-hour workweek Tim is so flooded with requests that saying no becomes a survival mechanism…
Super happy about this new book and the new way you are going to build it. I was wondering if the beta reader community could meet IRL as you offfered for the podcast anniversary in the spring. It would be such a great way to connect with like minded people locally.
Thanks for posting this Tim, you tease… I want to read it now. Like NOW.
I love that you’re promising a pragmatic approach that works for people that have real issues saying no. I often feel selfish saying no, because people around me aren’t as good at it. So I’ve been waiting for a book like this. Can’t wait. If you need someone to proofread or any help, let me know.
Leo
Thanks Tim and Neil, what a concept! I love it- as an aussie/kiwi who lives in a soup of irony, the irony of saying no to the no book and Neil saying yes to the no book and then regretting the commitment is just so perfect, so sweet.
Looking forward to seeing where this one goes and adding another Ferriss book to my shelves- soooo many tips and tricks i have gotten from you, im so grateful for them- from tips on starting my own business and what to eat 24hrs prior to a sexy time evening to learning about fricking onetab (amazing) in the newsletter, I know Ill will be saying no in more and better ways after reading the new book, thanks again.
Oh and thanks Neil too for some crazy bar stories inspired by your particular avenues of journalistic exploration.
Ps i think you should block all the nerds arguing about the grammar hahah
I love the concept of this book. However, I’m finding myself more searching for *that* thing that makes me go, “So this is what I was looking for (if that exists?).”
It sounds like this will help me filter out the things I think about, but never commit to. Either way, I can’t wait to read more!
Loving this already. Deeply relatable, and very interested to see this new formula with actions/systems built in vs information provided through traditional format.
Standing by to support and be part of the community as this rolls out 🫡
Only question was from Neil’s paragraph who the person named Ingrid is? I’ll search the comments to see if others asked/has already been answered.
Interested to read more. Does this book help the “regular” guy? What if we are just working our 9-5 as efficiently as we can, raising a family and enjoying life? Not fending off startup funding requests?
Also a big fan 😉 Interestingly 4h Chef pulled me into the universe in 2014, since then I learned & applied a ton of life improving wisdom.
I’m not sure I’ve been this excited for anything in a LONG time. I came to Tim’s work via podcast and after his last book release, so I haven’t gotten to be in it in real-time. I consider applying Tim’s work some of the best changes in my life and these two chapters already feel the same. Ready for some “no” training in my life!
This couldn’t have come at a better time. Want to grab lunch, Tim? Kidding 😉 Thanks for putting this out into the world. Excited to read more.
I’m interested to see a blueprint for how you determine what’s a yes and what’s a no . Sometimes I’ll say no and then I wish I’d said yes and vice versa
Trying to get my precious time to proof read your doc , clever.
No
😉
A friend said recently “I feel like right now, I’m making no one happy.” Commitments to work, family, and community left her feeling depleted and unfulfilled. I’m going to suggest we work through this book together. Looking forward to seeing what’s possible. Thanks, Tim!
love it
I am curious how this will be different than the idea of ‘Hell Yeah or No’ by Derek Sivers. Being that Tim already mentioned that they are friends, is it perhaps going to be too similar in theme to warrant a whole new book?
The timing of this for me is no coincidence! I have had two failed marriages probably because I would not tell them no or at least bring up the things that bothered me. I lean heavily on intuition and feeling & seem overly uncomfortable when telling others no or something I do not like, I’m sure it stems from my childhood. After almost 4 years I began dating again & started the same patterns with this new man. However, just yesterday my friend told me I should push myself to do the uncomfortable thing of speaking the truth promptly. He said little things become big things & that is probably why the last two marriages failed, in so many words.
I’m all in with this and will commit to the exercises regardless of how terribly uncomfortable it makes me! Thank you for sharing your experiences!
Hi Tim again great work with solutions to a common problem. Looking forward to it and beta testing would be an option.
I want (and need) the book right now! ! !
Please just give book people the book and don’t do all the extra online stuff.
SUPER excited for this! Perfect timing!
Hello, I am Jihyo Kim, a blogger and Titan leader from South Korea. I am confident that I am a Titan because reading your book, Tools of Titans, has completely transformed my life.
I have been applying and experimenting with the principles and insights from your book in my own life. To honor your work and writing, I am excited to share that next month, we will hold the world’s first exhibition of writings by South Korean Titans.
The theme of the exhibition is:
“South Korean Titans Respond to Titans Around the World.”
Inspired by your book, South Korean Titan leaders are crafting messages for the world, creating an e-book, and bringing these ideas to life through this exhibition.
My dream is to become friends with bestselling authors around the world, and I am ready to be your friend. Coincidentally, my first physical book will soon be published in South Korea. In my book, I have quoted insights from your book.
You once wrote about building 1,000 true fans in your 2016 version, which was originally an idea from 2008. However, I believe that in today’s world, one can achieve success not with 1,000 true fans but with just 100 true fans.
This updated perspective, along with the results of my experiments, is included in my new book, and I would love to share it with you.
It feels like fate that your new book and mine are being released at the same time. Perhaps it’s a moment of synchronicity.
Thank you for creating such an incredible book and for sharing a message of positivity and light with the world. I am committed to walking this path alongside you.
Currently, I have left my 12-year career as a music teacher in South Korea and am now living as an entrepreneur, investor, author, creator, and artist. I am also a community leader.
With heart and love.
where can I buy the book ? Is it already available for sale? If not, when?
I really want and need to improve in this area. I cannot find where I can buy it online. Can you please provide this info? Thank you
Incredibly excited to continue reading this. Simply put, I think what’s most compelling is the upcoming format – practical, exercises, etc. A text that grounds the practice and applies it to my individual life is what will definitely have me coming back for more. Congrats on the launch!
WOW! I JUST CAN’T WAIT FOR THIS BOOK! Your book 4 hour body changed my life over 10 years ago and I just know this one will change my life again. All the best to you and Neil!
Looking forward to reading more about your take on people-fearing and of course Neil’s 180. Write On!
Thank you for asking our thoughts on your upcoming book. Congratulations on being almost at the summit of this mountain: my deepest admiration for the work you’ve put into it.
As someone with a technical background, I’d be interested to see some dive into using algorithms for decision-making. For example: the optimal stopping algorithm or the explore vs. exploit algorithm. Are those strategies truly effective? Can we, in fact use them on our daily lives? What are the advantages and disadvantages of actually using them for practical situations? Have any of the experts you tapped (or yourselves) ever put them into practice? What were the results or lessons you or them learned from the experience? Do these kinds of strategies work better for someone with a technical background or a particular personality type or some other characteristics?
Another interesting tidbit would be a podcast or post where you talk about the topics, sections, or people you ended up saying no to during the making of the book. How did you decide to remove the content from the final product? What were some of the difficulties you experienced in the process? What were the lessons you learned? Did you include or use those lessons in the book in any way or form? Do you have any regrets about the content that didn’t “make it”? How do you deal with those regrets?
My guess is that you and your team have considered or done some of the above, but I hope my comment is helpful anyway. I apologize if I’m repeating anything from any previous comment(s).
Save for YouTube, LinkedIn, and WhasApp, I don’t use any social media, so I appreciate any alternative communication window I can get these days.
Again, thank you very much.
Thank you for this work. I am very excited about the format. Taking our time with each section by way of the serial release will allow us readers to digest and implement the content, which you describe as “relentlessly action-focused”. The diligence required to implement actions meaningfully and consistently benefits from the small portions in which the chapters will be disseminated. It is also a pleasure to be engaged in this process with you, receiving what you release in real time. I extend my sincere gratitude to you and Neil.
I am unironically saying “yes” to this book. Great topic. #LFN (Let’s effing NO!) 🙂
I’m looking forward to reading more. I wonder if the “middle way” comes up? Not “maybe” but repurposing an ask into something that’s stronger than the sum of its parts.
There is undeniable energy and “moxie” to some of the pitches and invitations you receive… I’d be interested to hear an example of something you initially said no to that you then reconsidered and engineered. Technically a “yes” in the end, I guess. Thanks team Tim!
Excited for this and the new format in which you created it! Beautiful to see you lean into collaboration. Looking forward to reading more. Can’t believe it’s been 7years since the 4HC and so much more since 4HWW … life! ❤️
will there be a print edition of the book available?
Thank you for the teaser. Can’t wait for more.
So excited to see this continue to release. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you! Can’t wait for the next chapter. These were already bangers.
Tough because I’m a Tim Ferriss fan because of his experimentation but I’d rather just have the whole book in my hands now in one shot. I’m sure that day will come but bite sized increments will have to do. Love that Neil is involved!
Great stuff. I read it Wednesday and was hooked straight away. I’m looking forward to this. Now re-reading after going via the 5-Bullet Friday Newsletter I only now realised the book has started here already 😀
Will be interested to see how to deal with saying no in a relationship – seems more emotional than, say, at work.
As a people pleaser and one who hates to disappoint others, I am really looking forward to this book! I have passed this along to a friend who also is a serial people pleaser.
This is so critical in today’s day and age, and I love the practical approach. Congratulations on moving this from your no pile. I’m curious how you’re thinking about a potential teaser that folks can send/share with their friends or colleagues who really need this (but might not be ready). For now, this blog post seems an effective start on that.
More suggestions on what to include:
-How your childhood affects your ability to say no (I think N is already writing about this!)
-Quiz for self-assessment on your ability to say no
-Which areas you’re more likely or less likely to say no (eg: do we feel more afraid saying no at work? To our spouses? To our parents? Etc.)
-Powerful reasons to motivate no-curious people (what reasons would encourage you to say no? For example, parents have an easier time saying no if it protects their children. See moms and negotiation when they have another person as their “why.”)
-The stories we tell ourselves: what are you afraid of saying no to? Why are you scared? (Fear journaling is so helpful here – write out your cognitive distortions, make bets with your fear, and revisit the results. This creates a log filled with proof that your fear is wrong.)
-Sitting in discomfort of an emptier schedule because you say no more often
YES!- lol, to more no’s, and know’s.
Love these teasers! I think this might be still applicable for an “old” lady about to retire from 24 years of complete dedication to my beautiful dogs and business. What will I do now? With 20 good years left? I’m spinning with ideas but none of them are “Hell ya’s”.
In your 5 Bullet Friday email you asked to comment on what we’d like to see in the book. I don’t know if it’s related, but I would love to see an update on your previous work on the slow carb diet. Anything new that works / doesn’t work? I suppose updates to the items you use in the 4 Hour Body would be great as well. Thanks for all you do!
What I’d most want to learn in your book: I’ve been thinking of this ever since I read this post when it first came out. I’m most interested in learning how to say Yes to the things I want to say Yes to. There is something akin to abject terror that holds me back to saying yes to the things I deep down want to say yes to.
I could not be more thrilled to hear this. Loving it so far! Last year I tried “NO-vember” where I focused that month on saying NO to any additional commitments. It was enough of a taste to let me know I needed more of that. Having a practical action plan with great tips like your text message response will be invaluable! Thanks, Tim!
Tim is one of my favorite nonfiction writers ever. So excited for this!
I have been thinking about, for 2025, not trying to be mediocre at the things I despise doing, not being good enough at everything else (hence the need for NO), but being excellent at a few things I enjoy doing or will create growth. When I reach that level of excellence, I can build or add as I find new ventures or adventures. Right? Is this a chapter?
There are some interesting situations in healthcare. I hope your book will be a good guide as to how to navigate it.
1. Patient writes on the portal requesting lab work that is not appropriate for their condition, just because so-and-so told them or they read somewhere.
Besides the fact that these unnecessary labs increase the healthcare cost even further, they’re not really giving any answers, and they just please the patient.
2. Patient calls and states they’ll be running late, but they’re asking to be seen anyway.
I pride myself with having excellent time management but saying yes to somebody like that, just throws off my whole schedule.
But wait, aren’t we supposed to be nice and say yes to whatever the patient wants?
3. Patient calls and states they want a certain medication, usually Adderall, or pain meds, just for a month or two until they’ll see the proper specialist.
Saying yes, to this opens the path to prolong this situation longer and longer because suddenly then the appointment with the specialist, moves farther and farther away, or the appointment that was coming up it is suddenly being missed for whatever reason.
4. Patient is being seen for a cold, however, they insist to get antibiotics because “they know their body” and they took a Z-Pak for the same thing last year and it worked.
This only makes the antibioticresistance problem that we already have worse and worse .
To top it off, patients are being resurveyed after the visit, making sure they are pleased with the visit.
I’m here to say I’d love to be a beta tester for this. I need to say no more. I can’t handle the silence and will take on work when others refuse to accept it because someone has to do it. I even struggle with the internal no because I struggle with fear of missing opportunities.
Tim, this is so spot on! Saying no to the noise so we can protect those ‘HELL YES!’ opportunities couldn’t be more important—especially since our time here is so limited. The idea of mastering ‘NO’ as a way to say ‘YES’ to what truly matters hits HARD… I love the community and serial release concept too—it feels super actionable, which is exactly what I need. When’s the next chapter dropping? Can’t wait for it. So great—thank you for putting this together!!
I am excited for this book, Tim. I have become reasonably good at ‘’no’ however I plan to read this to see if it makes an appropriate book to gift to those that don’t understand that my time is not a renewable resource. Namely, the in-laws!
Glory be, Tim Ferriss, glory be!
The ability to make decisions (especially the right decisions) is essential.
Learning the ability to say no to 99.9% of things is important.
These two facts are known and well-understood.
I would be curious to see how you bounce back to execute your decisions and handle those hours when you feel absolutely low and out of sync, based on the pages you publish here and also in your book.
How do we avoid insulting our friends by frequently saying no
So, I’m in and love this concept of some chapters at a time vs. a traditional book. Fingers crossed it goes over well and you keep it going. If you change that concept I will consume it anyway it’s done. I am currently more of a yes person, though for very different reasons. Regard protecting my time and calendar very highly so this is up my alley.
That’s great, Tim! I’m hoping there’s a chapter exploring whether morality and financial success can truly go hand in hand.
Continued from prior post regarding healthcare issues.
5.portal messages from patients, asking for opinions on radiology studies that I have not ordered, and in which I’m not an expert,”but you know my history best and I trust your opinion”
6. Patients asking me to do research on supplements they want to take, procedures they would like to undergo and sometimes sending me links to research articles that I’m supposed to read and send them my opinion.
Let’s keep in mind that saying yes to all of these requests make a long day even longer and significantly contribute to burnout.
After saying, yes, to all of this for a while, I noticed that people who ask a lot of questions, will continue to ask a lot of questions, and the more you answer, the more they ask. Also, these patients are not necessarily healthier. They do not have better outcomes.
Again, I hope your book has some templates that can be used for this type of situations.
Signed, healthcare worker that is supposed to work 24/7, squeeze everyone in the schedule whenever they want to, see them late just because, answer every single question fast and accurate, say yes, to every request for labs, disability, time off for “ stress” and such.
Man, I’m ready for this book.
Loved the intro and first chapter already. Looking forward how Neil is working out as a guinea pig.
I’ve listened to roughly half of your podcasts and subscribe to your weekly email- the only blog i’ve consistently read for years.. this is probably my favorite topic that you speak about (first heard from Derek’s Hell yes or no advice)… so needless to say I cannot wait for this book- when can this people-pleaser/over-achiever preorder? 🙂
Wow. My BF is an expert at saying “No” and tells me this needs to be my new mantra almost every day. I need this book ASAP and I am so grateful that you both took the time and effort to write it. Can’t wait to read the rest.
Shut The Gate.
In 1519, Spanish Captain, Hernán Cortés landed on the shores of the new world, Mexico, and gave the order to “burn the boats”. A commitment to do something which cuts off the options and forces you to venture out into the new. TORSCHLUSSPANIK seems to be the opposite of “burn the boats”. The fear of the gate shutting is the fear of losing familiar yeses. No shuts the gate by choice. No is the future fortress outside the fortress of your past. I need to know more unknowable nos.Looking forward to reading more of your new venture, Tim!
I am super excited about this (even though I don’t love reading stuff on the computer)
Loved killing many birds with one stone by inviting 10 interesting people to a group dinner rather than trying to make time for them individually!!
Can’t wait to read the following chapters and start putting them into action.
Thank you so much for sharing! 🙏
Title suggestion: The 4-second no
Hey Tim, thanks for sharing a preview of your newest project. I’m hooked!
I’m certainly intrigued, and can say with confidence at least one person will benefit immensely from what you’re preparing to release 🙂
I’m looking forward to reading more!
How many times can one bloke change my life for the better? Noticible in crease in net happiness asking myself WWTD? Now I will also ask myself WWTND? Thankyou Tim!
Wow. THIS is how to write in today’s short-attention span world. You kept us engaged from start to finish by putting us in the scene of your origin story – the need for this book and your rationale behind it. You shared a “reveal” where you said NO to the biggest book deal you’ve ever received because the book wasn’t right. You featured a behind-the-scenes story of how you and Neil disrupted the normal INFObesity book format into an actionable, accessible, day-by-day format so people actually use it and turn what they read into real-world results. Author Elmore Leonard was asked why people love his books. He said, “I try to leave out the parts people skip.” You left out the parts people skip. Kudos. Can’t wait to read it🙌
This sounds awesome. There are multiple subcultures who will be deeply served by this — Codependents Anonymous for example. 🔥⚔️🔥 Tim Ferriss, subtractor of bullshit, strikes again! PS — “The No Book” is a great name
Thanks Tim for always delivering valuable knowledge to all of us and improving our journey to better humans! You have impacted so many people positively and generate lots of love and positive vibe in this world which really needs it! Writing rom Tokyo Japan, all I can say is; GRACIAS TOTALES!!!
This is a topic that will resonate with most people. I tend to feel both guilt and FOMO — the former more typically in 1:1 requests for my time, particularly from people I care about, to whom I feel like I “owe” something.
I have gotten better at saying no only when I am truly overwhelmed, rationalizing that I won’t be able to show up as a good version of myself, and that ultimately the time spent won’t be worth it.
I look forward to reading more. It sounds like there will be many tactical examples, which are always helpful to make something truly actionable. Especially if you’re someone who can’t say no AND a self-conscious overthinker.
This could not come at a better time for me. Over the recent summer holidays (Australia) I have been reflecting on the fact that I turn 50 this year and made a significant (in my mind) decision. From now on, if something doesn’t create joy or serve purpose to me, my family or closest friends I am not going to do it. This is a significant change for me as I say yes to everything and suffer from serious FOMO, specially with business. And then this email turns up in my inbox. Can’t wait for the book guys.
Great intro, looking forward to the full read. Sorry cannot beta at this time. Overachiever-People-Pleasers club handbook.
I started my career in The Soviet Union, where I got some feedback. I said yes to too many things, working 18 hours a day, and burning out. In fact, I was called “Gospozha Da,” Miss Yes. I’ve been trying to address this feedback ever since. I’m much better at saying no. But my team sometimes groans and tells me, “Gospozha Da strikes again!” I am hoping you can help me slay Gospozha Da once and for all!
Tim has helped hundreds of thousands of people to accomplish work that has changed the world for the better. I am certain The No Book will boost his positive impact on a global scale. I began listening to Tim’s podcasts in 2014. I keep a list that includes some favorites such as #6 from around 5/16/2014, “Six Formulas for More Output and Less Overwhelm,” and #201 around 11/15/2016, “Meditation, Mindset, and Mastery.”
I am good at saying “No.” The world is like a fast-flowing river crammed with bustling activity, but I stay on the river bank removed from the commotion. When I want to get to the other side, I jump in an imaginary canoe. I anticipate that The No Book will transform my canoe to a sailboat so I can harness the wind and get to the other side with even more enjoyment.
I’m looking forward to learning how to sail. Thank you, Tim.
I am such a people pleaser and ridden with Roman Catholic guilt…I cant wait for this book. Its like when you know you are a doormat but always try to help even when you know it isnt valued. The saying is “an ends to the means”…I am just tired.
*sorry such a long comment…but I am really excited about even the possibility of gaining the confidence to say no sometimes with this new book*
I’m excited to read more, after reading these two initial chapters. I’ve already been a 5-bullet Friday subscriber for a long time and I really loved Neil’s “The Game”.
I’m super excited about this new project! I will make an effort to apply the knowledge you and Neil share. I have a journal full of healing notes from your podcasts and I imagine this book will continue my trend of recording personal insights, a trove of inspired food for thought.
I’m looking forward to seeing if this book helps with saying no to oneself. Will it help with procrastination and making bold decisions? Let the adventures begin! I’m in!!
Hey Tim. [Out of respect, if you’d like to avoid too many potentially unnecessary words, please just read the third to last sentence] Man, as an avid reader going through a significant life change, I couldn’t be more excited to hear that your next book is about wisdom with the word no. I’m 48 and finally stepped off the merry-go-round (read: I kindly quit). I read your first book as soon as it came out (multiple times over the years), and it’s been an ever-present ideal that I’ve held up in comparison to what my actual work life has looked like ever since. Married, sole provider, two small….and then not-so-small girls, and not many options other than to keep grinding while aggressively saving/building for the day when it wouldn’t be too irresponsible to finally get off the hamster wheel and start taking back ground in my work life. I definitely need to get better at my no. I’m involved in multiple non-profits in addition to my more passive business interests, and I’ve got (in some ways, thankfully) a long list of people wanting to get a cup of coffee to ask for mentorship. advise, etc… I’m currently taking a year or more off to get my heart back in some ways and also to wonder about what value I’m meant to bring in the next half of my life. So, yes, getting better at ‘no’ is more pronounced at this moment where I’m learning how to breathe again in more and more sustainable ways. On the flip side, I just listened to your podcast with Greg McKeown today. We (the company I just left) have actually hired him more than once to come in and speak with our reps about Essentialism and have diligently worked at incorporating those healthy habits and ways of thinking into our people. There’s the backstory. You asked for feedback about what we’d desire in a book like this in your weekly email. I can’t imagine you’re fully equipped to say ‘no’ without a clear understanding of what you’ve already decided were the things you needed to say ‘yes’ to and subsequently chose to protect at all costs. Although I understand that you can’t tackle all facets of a topic in one book, I’d love to read something about what you’ve learned over your many years of interviewing these incredible people (and personally living out) regarding what you think is scalable or what might work for the masses concerning understanding the ‘yesses’ you’re protecting. More simply said, can you please tell some of your story about how you came to decide on the yesses you are willing to fight for by saying no to anything that wars against them. Apologies for all the words. I’m working on saying no to my need for context.
This is going to be life changing – perfectly poignant and I’m thrilled to dive in! This gives me a lot of hope and I think you heartily for your life’s dedications ♥️💕
Very excited for this book! Feels like it’s coming at an especially important & fortunate point in my life — and really, at a crucial point for society writ large.
This quote really hit home:
It’s hard to build the muscle of taking accountability for saying yes to too much, and replacing blame with introspection.
Side note: I had to try to dig up which conference Neil was at when you called him. Whenever I read a “behind the scenes” account of a prominent person’s inner thoughts, I love to see how that compares to their outward appearance. It helps me remember that even celebrities with a confident facade are often paddling with duck legs underneath that rock-solid smile. Here’s my best guess at where Neil was, looking in-control and not the least bit stressed:
https://www.facebook.com/presidentssummit/posts/laughter-and-smiles-were-a-core-part-of-the-art-of-communication-and-conflict-re/865685371492849/?locale=af_ZA