Dr. Astro Teller is a computer scientist and entrepreneur who currently oversees Google[x], Google’s moonshot factory. Dr. Danielle Teller is a physician specializing in intensive care and lung medicine; she has trained doctors and run research programs at Harvard University and the University of Pittsburgh.
Together, they are the authors of Sacred Cows.
In this conversation — my first podcast with a couple — we cover a lot of my usual questions (favorite books, routines, philosophies of living, etc.) but focus on something I haven’t personally figured out: relationships.
It’s important to note that the Tellers are not “for” marriage but, rather, “for” the freedom to decide how to live most honestly and happily, whether as part of a couple or as a single person.
Combining the rigor that has established them as leaders in their respective fields, Astro and Danielle walk me through how they think about relationships, and how they survive and thrive as two driven people.
Sidenote: Want to see me tackle dating experiments, struggle with live “cold approaches,” and optimize online dating with a computer hacker? Be sure to watch my “Dating Game” episode of The Tim Ferriss Experiment here.
Enjoy the podcast below!
- Listen to it on iTunes.
- Stream by clicking here.
- Download as an MP3 by right-clicking here and choosing “save as.”
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QUESTION(S) OF THE DAY: Are you pursuing monogamy? Why or why not? Have you figured out other rules that work for you and your partner? Please (seriously, please) let me know in the comments! I expect this thread will have some great suggestions.
Scroll below for links and show notes…
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Selected Links from the Episode
- Sacred Cows by Astro and Danielle Teller
- Watch Astro and Danielle’s TEDxBoston Talk
- Learn about Google’s desire to provide internet access to everyone on earth – Project Loon
- Why My Husband Will Always Come Before My Kids (Amber Doty)
- Wrath of the Khans I – Hardcore History by Dan Carlin (Hear our interview here)
- Danielle recommends Google Play for “…as much music as our kids want”
- What If? by Randall Munroe
- Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
- The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss
- The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman
- Oscar and Lucinda by Oscar Carey
- The Hours by Michael Cunningham
- The Gormenghast Novels by Mervyn Peake
- Motherless Brooklyn by Jonathan Lethem
- The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
- American Parenting is Killing the American Marriage by Astro and Danielle Teller
- Learn more About Astro and Danielle
Recipe for a Monogamy Cocktail
- 3 Parts Rosemary-Infused Vodka
- 2 Parts Vanilla-Infused Cognac
- 1 Part Lemon Juice
- A little bit about the work of Astro and Danielle [6:30]
- Thoughts on the usefulness of a long-term plan [11:30]
- Deconstructing how Astro and Danielle approach challenges and plans [12:35]
- Exploring the “soulmate” concept of one true love [15:50]
- Differentiating between true love and society’s view of marriage and divorce [19:30]
- New ways of seeing marriage and creating space from social pressure [22:45]
- Why Astro and Danielle decided to get married for a second time [28:44]
- Thoughts on fear factors [31:00]
- The reasons for getting married in authentically happy couples [34:20]
- The most common mistakes type-A men make in large relationship decisions [36:20]
- How Danielle and Astro first met [39:35]
- Exploring my own fears of losing at the game of marriage [41:45]
- How Danielle and Astro view conflict resolution in their marriage [46:30]
- Family rituals of Astro and Danielle [50:35]
- How Astro and Danielle think about managing spouse and children relationships [55:35]
- The worst advice for “significant other” relationships [56:50]
- Do you know single people older than 40 who are authentically happy? [59:55]
- The most impactful $100 for Danielle and Astro [1:08:50]
- Favorite/most-gifted books [1:13:35]
- Who is the first person who comes to mind when you think “successful”? [1:19:30]
- If you could ask anyone from all of history 100 questions about anything who would you choose? [1:22:05]
- Ways in which medical/scientific training has helped with family relationships [1:23:15]
- How Astro Teller thinks about death and how to live life intensely every single day [1:31:30]
- How Danielle Teller measures the success of a day [1:40:15]
Posted on: May 20, 2015.
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Who was interviewed? Here's a very partial list: tech icons (founders of Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Craigslist, Pinterest, Spotify, Salesforce, Dropbox, and more), Jimmy Fallon, Arianna Huffington, Brandon Stanton (Humans of New York), Lord Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, Ayaan Hirsi Ali, Ben Stiller, Maurice Ashley (first African-American Grandmaster of chess), Brené Brown (researcher and bestselling author), Rick Rubin (legendary music producer), Temple Grandin (animal behavior expert and autism activist), Franklin Leonard (The Black List), Dara Torres (12-time Olympic medalist in swimming), David Lynch (director), Kelly Slater (surfing legend), Bozoma Saint John (Beats/Apple/Uber), Lewis Cantley (famed cancer researcher), Maria Sharapova, Chris Anderson (curator of TED), Terry Crews, Greg Norman (golf icon), Vitalik Buterin (creator of Ethereum), and nearly 100 more. Check it all out by clicking here.