The 30-Day Challenge: No Booze, No Masturbating (NOBNOM)

Both of these things are very distracting. (Photo: Shawn Perez)
Both of these things are very distracting. (Photo: Shawn Perez)

The short version: I’d like to pay you to not drink or jerk off for 30 days. Sign up here and get your monk on.

Sex is A-OK.

The longer version is below, which includes juicy details, more options for women, and some farewell-porn suggestions…

###

You know who you are, you filthy animals.

Secret bookmarks to Pornhub (“Discount airfare” – Ha!), secret folders labeled “Tax Returns” for when wifi fails, bookmarks for animated GIFs in case of slow connections (curtsy to Tumblr), Hotspot Shield for when you’re in countries that ban your cherished images (download it before you fly!)…

Oh, wait. Am I projecting again?

Yes, I’ve admitted it before, and I’ll admit it again: dudes watch porn on the Internet. Shocker, I know. All those guys on the magazine covers? They do it, too.

Less obvious, perhaps, is how dramatically your life can change if you quit porn and masturbation for a short period.

I did this for 30 days recently, and — oddly enough — I found it much easier and more impactful to quit booze for the same 30 days. Just a few of the benefits I experienced included…

  • A dramatic surge in free testosterone and sex drive. Dozens of my seemingly healthy male friends, techies in particular, have approached me over the years about chronically low testosterone. There are many potential causes, including late-night blue light, but removing booze and porn appear to open the flood gates. Research (example, example) shows that alcohol reduces testosterone levels. So…should you be dating more? Trying a little harder instead of wanking, watching Battlestar Galactica, and calling it a night? This will help motivate you.
  • Increased ability to focus and cognitive endurance. This goes along with increased “T” mentioned above.
  • Getting roughly 50-100% more done. When you aren’t nursing hangovers, chewing up 3-4 hours per night with friends, destroying your sleep with booze, or procrastinating with porn (you know who you are) — miracle of miracles — you get more done! A LOT more done. In my mind, this alone easily justifies a 30-day booze and porn fast. You’ll clear off that goddamn to-do list faster than Speedy Gonzales. And remember: sex is still allowed.

Join Me for Another 30 Days

Given how transformative this was for me, I’m inviting you to join me for another 30 days. After that, you can go back to your hedonistic ways. I enjoy porn, but I’ve concluded I can level up by taking breaks.

I’ll refer to our 30-day challenge as NOBNOM (NO Booze, NO Masturbating), as the acronym itself sounds pornographic. We gotta make this sumnabitch memorable.

Next steps are described below.

NOTE: If you don’t masturbate (a lot of women don’t but should), or if you otherwise don’t watch enough porn to care about abstaining, here’s another option:

NOBNOC — No Booze, No Complaining

For this version, please first read “Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment.” Then, join the same NOBNOB challenge page to be part of the community.

Next Steps — Do It Now!

1. STEP 1 Join the NOBNOM goal page here. This is free, and it will keep you accountable to yourself and others.  This official challenge starts August 1st.  That means you get to go crazy on September 1st.  If you’re reading this another time, you can start whenever.  I’m sure people will still be on the page.

2. STEP 2 – If you’re really serious, up the ante and put some cash on the line. As discussed at length in The 4-Hour Chef, without stakes or consequences, about 70% of you will fail. So… choose not to fail.

Below are two options, and I earn nothing from either. I’d suggest doing both of them, if possible:

  • A. Create a betting pool with a few friends or co-workers. Each person commits $100 or whatever (enough to sting if lost, but not enough to bankrupt you) to the pot, and those who complete the full 30 days split the pot. Using this type of betting pool is partially how Tracy Reifkind lost 100+ pounds, so you can definitely use it on NOBNOM.
  • B. Get an accountability coach by clicking here. They’ll email you daily to keep you on track, and you get the first week free by using coupon “NOBNOM.” It’s otherwise $14.99 per week, so the month costs you $45. There are two coaches, and they have bandwidth for 200 people. The coaches: one is a former senior staffer from OneTaste (remember the 4-Hour Body orgasm chapters?). The other coach successfully stopped masturbating and is trained in accountability coaching.

3. STEP 3 – If you’d like to participate in 1-3 support meetings and private Q&As, sign up for my e-mail list and you’ll get the invites. I’ll probably host live video chats, 60-minutes long, and I’ll dedicate 15-20 minutes to the AA meeting-type stuff.  The NoFap page on reddit might also be helpful for some of y’all.

And that’s it!

How You Get Paid

I’m putting $1,000 of my own cash on the line, and Lift (which I advise) is putting up $500, for a total of $1,500.

Here’s how you get it:

1) You must complete the 30-day challenge (Aug 1-31, 2014) on the NOBNOM goal page I’ve linked to throughout this post. We’ll audit this.

2) You must put some of your cash on the line, using one of the above listed approaches. It shouldn’t be enough to hurt you, but it needs to be enough to motivate you.

3) You must leave helpful feedback, tips, and/or encouragement for others, on both that page and in the comments below.

After the challenge, the Lift team, my jury of magic elves, and I will choose the three (3) most helpful people, and each will get $500 USD. Bam!

Get excited and get on it.

So, What Are You Waiting For?

If you’ve been feeling less than super-productive, slightly lethargic, or mildly depressed, do this 30-day challenge. If you simply want to level-up your life, do this 30-day challenge.

At the very least, it’ll make you conscious of automatic behaviors.  Things you’ve done for so long that you know nothing else.

If you’re like me, once the fat starts melting off and you’re feeling like a different person, you’ll say to yourself:

“Holy shit, my baseline for the last 10 years [or 5 or 15 or whatever] has been fucked! I totally forgot what it feels like to live clean.”

Perhaps living clean ended for you after high school, or even before, as it did for me. Why not get reacquainted for 30 days?  Chances are that it’s been a while.

Here’s the first step.

A Parting Gift

If you need a last hurrah before 30 days of being a good boy or girl, here are a few options for party time:

  • A bottle of 2011 Ménage à Trois red. It’s delicious.
  • A viewing of “Momoko and Anjelica,” available through Ze Google. It’s also delicious, and DEFINITELY not suitable for work.
  • A chaser of club soda with lots of lime. You might be having lots of these, so get friendly.

Welcome to Thunderdome!  You’ll thank me later.

See you on NOBNOM central.

Pura vida,

Tim

The Tim Ferriss Show is one of the most popular podcasts in the world with more than one billion downloads. It has been selected for "Best of Apple Podcasts" three times, it is often the #1 interview podcast across all of Apple Podcasts, and it's been ranked #1 out of 400,000+ podcasts on many occasions. To listen to any of the past episodes for free, check out this page.

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Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you’re rude, we’ll delete your stuff. Please do not put your URL in the comment text and please use your PERSONAL name or initials and not your business name, as the latter comes off like spam. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation! (Thanks to Brian Oberkirch for the inspiration.)

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Scott Cousland
Scott Cousland
9 years ago

Addicted to porn? If I was your “bro”, this video would be the intervention:

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

The weekend is going well. Not use to having internet at the apt. I either have to use it at work, at the apt. lobby, or the library. Good thing is that there isn’t any temptations. Hope everyone is doing well.

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  Chris V

You gave me an Idea of 30 days no Internet. Maybe I’ll try that on my next challenge… Maybe…

But hey, keep it up!

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago
Reply to  kikoymann

I know I’m not ready for 30 days without the internet, so I’m a big maybe myself.Thanks for the encouragement kikoymann!

Alex.
Alex.
9 years ago

OK. Just realised that while I’d signed up to Lift I hadn’t joined the proper page. I’m volunteering overseas and have always been a big drinker and when not with a girl I was always with my hand! It’s working already! It’s been just over a week and I’m less stressed and feeling like my old self again. The major hassles of last month seem small now. Still, pretty keen to rub one out…

Nick Hammond
Nick Hammond
9 years ago
Reply to  Alex.

That’s awesome that you’re volunteering overseas, always wanted to do that myself and hopefully will once I get my student loans paid off. Freedom!

Do you think being in a new environment helps to prevent your mind from resorting to B or M?

I just moved across the country to pursue my freelance design career and have been crashing on a friends couch away from my significant other. I can say definitively that not having my own room prevents me from wanting to rub one out.

Keep it up!

Tom Kosnik
Tom Kosnik
9 years ago

Three Cheers to Tim Ferris for some GREAT tips for road warriors who need to travel lighter. MUCH lighter. 🙂 Read it, Then try it! I will.

Tim, I have a question about whether you or others have successfully done the “Mail Ahead” option for: Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam; Singapore; Beijing; Shanghai; Jakarta; Bangkok? I have trips to all of those places coming up in the next few months.

tomk

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

“Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.”

Carl Jung

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  Chris V

Too much of a good thing is bad 🙂

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Chris V

Or narcissism. Even sex.

Jesse Keenan
Jesse Keenan
9 years ago

Day ten of NOBNOM and still going strong. So thankful this challenge introduced md to Lift! So far I’ve been brushing my teeth every night, flossing, taking out my contacts at night, riding my bike and reading a lot more.

Nick Hammond
Nick Hammond
9 years ago
Reply to  Jesse Keenan

Doesn’t it feel great to read a lot more? Not only does it open your mind to new ideas but it helps you to understand how much time is wasted on t.v. for absolutely no reason

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Jesse Keenan

I know the feeling, I stopped playing video games and my productivity skyrocketed, along with not masturbating I made better use of my time

tashalynnstarr
tashalynnstarr
9 years ago

I’m really enjoying the challenge so far, mostly enjoying the group on Lift and how amazing everyone is. Glad I found this ^_^

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  tashalynnstarr

Me to! unconsciously, this is what I need 🙂

Adam
Adam
9 years ago

Day 10: Made it through the weekend and only 20 more days to go. Feeling great with NOB. I will definitely be more conscious of my alcohol intake after this challenge. This challenge makes me realize the sleep I could have had the nights I tied one on. Anyone else going to lay of the booze after this?

Over and out

Benjamin
Benjamin
9 years ago

Some of the observations I’m making during this challenge are very fascinating to me. First of all drinking is not only socially acceptable it’s almost socially necessary in our society. People expect you to drink and often get offended if you don’t. Meanwhile masturbation and most issues related to sex are completely taboo and although it’s a common practice that almost everyone engages in, it’s never to be spoken about in public and only to be practiced behind closed doors. Does anyone else think it’s counter productive to condone and encourage an activity that is killing people, causing numerous health problems and ruining lives, while suppressing sexuality and not allowing an open dialogue about it so people become so shamed with guilt that they develop a mental illness or a sex addiction. I think it’s time to be more open about sexuality so it can be expressed in a healthy way and more honest about the negative effects of alcohol so we can explore new ways to socialize. I’m guilty of living on the shadow side of both of these things, that’s why I have so much respect for anyone doing this challenge. We have the choice to “be the change we wish to see in the world” (Gandhi anyone?) I’m going to stand up for change and be honest about why I’m doing this, if I get a negative response from 99 out of a hundred people it’ll be worth it if that one person decides to re-evaluate their relationship to sex and alcohol. Props to everyone here! You guys are the catalyst for a better tomorrow!

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Benjamin

I just listened to a podcast this morning from Tucker Max, author of ‘I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell’. It really puts into perspective how we as a culture through pickup or socialization are conditioned so that we pursue women in these environments where there’s drinking in the bar/club environment, and glorifies casual sex. It’s almost like you’re not a man if you cannot pick up women at a bar and it has damaged a lot of men, including myself. It is like jamming a week’s worth of interactions and socializing, dumping a huge pressure bomb on it, then having everyone unleash it with alcohol and rage for a few hours two nights in a row. Maybe this is the beginning of the rebirth of human relationships.

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  Benjamin

I’m all for the re-evaluation, at first week, I was ashamed of myself, then as days goes by, I’m starting to observe why I did this things and How much I can change some other aspect of my life. Glad to be in this group too 🙂

Nick Hammond
Nick Hammond
9 years ago
Reply to  Benjamin

I love going out and watching bar culture for this exact reason. I’ve always been more of an introvert and I’ve always followed the beat of my own drum while questioning authority. And although I’ve always questioned whether it was something wrong with me as a person I am finally understanding through groups like this that others question the actions of society as a whole just as much as I did growing up.

If you don’t want to partake in something don’t do it. Even if the group makes it seem like the norm. At the end of the day you’ll be much happier with yourself being along and sticking to your beliefs than giving in and waking up with that shitty hangover which denotes anything BUT progress.

Keep on keepin on!

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Nick Hammond

It can be much easier said than done, since we as human mammals value validation at some degree or other. But I hear you, sometimes I take a step back and it really looks ridiculous and cumbersome, almost like ‘why the hell do we do this’. I sincerely doubt most of the guys that go out like that sincerely enjoy it. We’ll always be working on moving to the beat of our own drum and it’s okay to continue to learn and grow.

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago

This is awesome! The people in the NOBNOM Lift page were answering questions actively. Thanks for creating the Group Tim!

Even N
Even N
9 years ago

Okey, no porn or masturbating, but sex is okey and can i ejaculate during sex or will this be bad?

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  Even N

I’d say yes to that Even. 🙂

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Even N

Ejaculating during sex is okay

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

“No one is immune from addiction; it afflicts people of all ages, races, classes, and professions.”

Patrick J. Kennedy

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Chris V

I remember reading on a masturbation/porn recovery site that addiction never goes away, you just learn to handle it

Adam
Adam
9 years ago

Day 11: Wishing everyone the best on day 11. Felt good to be the one at work without a crazy hangover story from the weekend. What’s everyone else feeling?

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Adam

It’s nice to see someone bring up booze for once here! I feel this this challenge has nearly become a full on NOM group. I did my equivalent of NOB by not even going out to a bar/club last weekend. It was a huge feat for me since I don’t drink, but would go to pick up women. To stay away from that and wake up on time and do daily activities was really nice.

Andrew
Andrew
9 years ago

If this whole thing is about testostrone I’m figuring that the NOM part is to keep from the happy ending part of it. So maybe M is ok if you don’t finish? I’m not going to test it simply because I don’t have the control yet to get going and then stop without finishing.I’m on Day 10 I believe. Don’t pretty good.

Andrew
Andrew
9 years ago
Reply to  Andrew

Donig pretty good I mean.

Freundchen
Freundchen
9 years ago
Nick Hammond
Nick Hammond
9 years ago
Reply to  Freundchen

Who’s to say Mr. or Mrs. Rex didn’t resort to edging?

Don P
Don P
9 years ago

Damn, I wish I had found this challenge sooner to try to win some cash!

I’ve been doing 30-day challenges all year and blogging about them on my site. This is one I will definitely have to add to my list.

Maybe even up the ante with No Booze, No Mastrubation, and No Complaining (NOBNOMNOC).

waqarjamil
waqarjamil
9 years ago

I have a habit of Cannabis, which I have no regrets about, however I am curious as to how it impacts testosterone levels and productivity. Any thoughts?

Nick Hammond
Nick Hammond
9 years ago
Reply to  waqarjamil

I think it depends on the person. To me, marijuana is a healing plant and thus should be used for healing. If you’re smoking just to smoke and chase the “high” then I’d suggest reevaluating why you’re smoking in the first place.

I personally have a terrible time doing anything testosterone related after smoking. Usually just become more tapped in to the muse and have awesome design sessions.

Just as Tim suggests in many of his posts and books, test it out for yourself. If it’s detrimental to your progress in any way, even outside of this challenge, reevaluate and go from there. Keep testing and keep adapting!

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Nick Hammond

Well said. Any behavior is harmful if you have developed a dependency on it as an escape or avoidance. Even something like video games. I believe our natural state as human beings is to go out and interact, be active, play, learn, and grow. Our prehistoric ancestors (if you believe in evolutionary theory) didn’t sit on chairs for 8 hours, stare at screens and dance our thumbs on buttons. For you creationists, it’s a sin anyway to waste your life in idleness!

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  waqarjamil

I live in the hood, the guys here don’t seem to be “depleted” at all. But productiity? They can’t talk straight though 😀

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

“I am a work in progress.”

― Violet Yates, Lost & Found

Gotta keep reminding myself that. Just taking it one day at a time. But I am doing good so far.

Nick Hammond
Nick Hammond
9 years ago
Reply to  Chris V

Keep it up! Judging by the date of your post you’ve already made it past that intense first week. Keep up the habits you’ve used to get through it so far and you’ll be through it in no time

Russel
Russel
9 years ago

Hi, I think your website might be having browser compatibility issues.

When I look at your blog site in Chrome, it

looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.

I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, wonderful blog!

Charles
Charles
9 years ago

This has been an interesting challenge that’s for sure. I drink very little. The last time I had a beer my daughter was so shocked she snapchatted a picture to all her friends.

But what I had been drinking is Coca-Cola–as in multiple cans per day. So for me this is NOCNOM.

Surprisingly enough, despite all the horror stories giving up Coke has been the easier of the two. I will say after 13 days that I’m much more “on-edge” and much more open to meeting members of the opposite sex…AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE…lol.

I feel like I’m 16 again…and that was a LONG time ago. Let’s see how the second-half of the month unfolds.

Nick Hammond
Nick Hammond
9 years ago
Reply to  Charles

One of the best things I have ever done is give up soda. Not only does it slowly kill you but you become addicted and your body even becomes more thirsty by drinking it.

Replace with water (get a nalgene bottle to carry around with you) and you’ll be amazed at how quickly your health returns

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Charles

I recently learned about the Paleo diet and how if we cut out sugar and processed foods from our diet, we become healthy, avoid more disease and feel better overall. It makes sense since that’s what our ancestors ate before there were machines and stuff.

I personally cut off soda 2 years ago and have noticed a shift in my energy levels. I think it’s awesome you adjusted the challenge to a pervasive awareness within your own life. Great job!

Benjamin
Benjamin
9 years ago

My favorite Tim quotes that are helping me make it through this challenge;

“Being able to quit things that don’t work is integral to being a winner”

“The goal is not to simply eliminate the bad, which does nothing more than leave you with a vacuum, but to pursue and experience the best in the world.”

“Remember—boredom is the enemy, not some abstract “failure.”

“I value self-discipline, but creating systems that make it next to impossible to misbehave is more reliable than self-control.”

“Every time I find myself stressed out, it’s because I do things primarily driven by growth.”

Thanks Tim!

Nick Hammond
Nick Hammond
9 years ago
Reply to  Benjamin

Love these! Thanks for the post. I’ve found myself, as it pertains to these quotes, that keeping busy is a very key part in making sure I don’t give in. By not having the time to even think about B or M it eliminates a huge risk

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  Benjamin

Maybe putting these on the wall would be an awesome thing to do 😀 Good job

Adam
Adam
9 years ago

Day 12: Officially hard …. (no, not that) but hard not to have a glass of the wine. Boy did I want something after work today. Not even half way through the challenge yet!

Keep Calm, NOBNOM on

Nick Hammond
Nick Hammond
9 years ago
Reply to  Adam

Glad you didn’t partake! How did you end up getting over the urges?

Brendan
Brendan
9 years ago

I had already decided to lay off booze earlier in July, so just passed one month without it. Heard about this challenge at the beginning of August and figured that NOM would be a force multiplier to make this a great month. So far so good, definitely a challenge at times, but been resolute. Using lift for other habits already has made checking in to this habit pretty automatic whenever I get around to checking in all my habits I did for the day in Lift (80+habits as a perpetual to do with stat tracking). I hope everybody’s finding benefits from this and I think that I will be much better of a person by the end of it especially if I can control my urges once and for all beyond just NOBNOM into any other negative habit I may have and want to eliminate.

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Brendan

The power is not in being able to do what you want, but knowing you can but won’t, in want of something greater

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

Affirmations are a valuable tool to use. For ex. “I live for recovery because giving back helps my own recovery & my recovery is a priority in my life.” For free to google some affirmations or tailor make one to your liking.

Adam
Adam
9 years ago

Day 13: No news. Getting used to this thang. Just dreading having to explain this on my birthday. Just remember, Vermonster (check it out at Ben and Jerry’s) instead of booze on the Bday.

Peace, love, etc…

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Adam

Your birthday falls on this month? That will be the ultimate test for you, wouldn’t it?

Adam
Adam
9 years ago
Reply to  Raymond

YES! The ultimate test. I will survive.

mariegrob
mariegrob
9 years ago

I insist, girls should have a 30-day masturbate-every-day-no-exception-and-reach-orgasm-at-least-once-but-twice-is-better challenge.

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  mariegrob

As long as it’s not a substitute for an actual partner, but a complement =]

mariegrob
mariegrob
9 years ago
Reply to  Raymond

It should never be, just a challenge like NOBNOM, or more-so a learning experience to better the contact with a partner later on.

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  mariegrob

this is a different topic, but a good option, as Tim shared the same story on the 4HB. Good suggestion though 🙂

mariegrob
mariegrob
9 years ago
Reply to  kikoymann

I think NOM for most girls isn’t doing them a favor, the ” I insist” being in reference to those who mentioned it already… though there definitely are girls out there who can use a break too, no denying that!

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

Gotta take things one small step at a time. If you’re struggling with NOM then slowly start to take away one trigger point at a time. For ex. if looking at R-rated or XXX movies gives you the urge, then you may want to stop viewing those type of films.

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Chris V

Don’t click on the ‘xxx’, click on the ‘x’!

Dan
Dan
9 years ago

Tim, I have a huge tip (no pun) for everyone doing NOM (particularly those who use porn).

If porn is easily accessible, and I’m on the computer with something stressful to be doing (or I see something… stimulating), it’s easy to load that shit up in moments.

Self control is over-rated with this stuff, I want to focus my energy on other things. Here’s how I’ve made it easy in the past:

1. OpenDNS — There’s a setting to block ALL pornographic material. I set it up and handed over ALL related passwords that could change it to the person I was accountable to. I even set up a new email address for the openDNS account so I couldn’t retrieve the password.

The only downside, it’s only really effective for home use (it will block the sites for anyone who is connected to the network, regardless of device)…

…but unless you’re jerking off in a public restroom, should be pretty safe.

2. Leechblock — I started this one before I had opendns. Found a huge list of porn sites, and added them to a 24/7 block list. Had a redirect to a custom page I wrote up selling myself on why I don’t want to go and do that.

Then, once again, passworded and handed it over. (and blocked off any way of overriding or disabling it without a password)

Obviously that’s only for Firefox. I removed all other browsers, because none of them offered the same level of control and prevention.

3. AdBlock Plus — I used to see a lot of arousing ads, and on some occasions, that can be enough to derail things. So by having those ads blocked, it made things a lot easier.

Hope that’s helpful to anyone struggling.

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  Dan

I suggest you forget it altogether. I know somehow we’ll all need to connect to the net. But if we’re considering the NOM challenge, it will only make you looking for ways to sneek anyways: magazines, brochures, walking women, commercials. Trust me It will only deplete your will power doing this.

I suggest go to a different path. go add another challenge or do anything that requires your undivided attention.

this might sound generic, but Energy goes where attention flows . So instead of putting barricades (blockers, proxies, blocking apps) along the “M” way, Just go to a different path: eg. Go fishing, go to 21 day No-complain forums, any challenge will do.

Not easy but Simple, Gets the job done.

Dan
Dan
9 years ago
Reply to  kikoymann

This is just what I did when successfully tackling this challenge in the past — YMMV.

The point of the above is simple. You don’t waste any will power on it and essentially rule it out as an option. You don’t need to think about it much.

Just like clearing out the fridge and pantry of crap when you’re changing nutrition habits.

Adam
Adam
9 years ago

Day 14: Feels great getting to bring these things that are a big part of our lives into the conscious realm of decision making. To have complete control over them and not the other way around. To have the ability to practice delayed gratification and abstain. Power to everyone still in the challenge.

Keep calm, NOBNOM on

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago

In the past two weeks, I noticed in both Forums (LIFT, 4HWW Comments, Dietbet NOBNOM Betpool ) that everyone has gone past the “friction” phase (though 7th day a lot gave up). Seems like everyone’s getting the hang of it, and its starting to get more interesting as “realizations” starts appearing one by one. Keep it up 😀

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  kikoymann

Experience is the best education

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago

Soundtrack while changing habits, including NOBNOM.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTAGV7AIn_Q

“Roll another habit”. Best.band.ever.

John
John
9 years ago

Damnit, I want to do both after looking at the picture in the article. FML.

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

Be careful not to substitute one addiction for another. For ex. taking up smoking to replace the M or B addiction. Instead, replace it with a positive activity-exercising, reading, writing, etc.

Andrew
Andrew
9 years ago

So I thought that haven’t sex would help it. And it did for just a bit. But a real issue is when you get the sexual energy in you what to do with it? Can’t really workout hard yet due to surgery. So it’s just lingering. Trying to do some breathing exercises to even it out.

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  Andrew

I realized that the issue is the focus of that energy. I suggest you set up the conditions. Do.Something.Else. Something that will catch your undivided attention. It doesn’t have to be physical, like swimming which will bring you to a place where there are ladies in swimsuit, or Sedimentary like reading which can also be detrimental if you are reading erotica or something close to that. Cooking , planting, Kettlebells worked for me,

Jonathan Ogden
Jonathan Ogden
9 years ago

So I hope everybody is doing well as we approach the half-way point of the official challenge. There really is so much inspiration and camaraderie on the Lift – pretty interesting site. And the personal insights I’ve gleaned from this challenge are priceless. If you haven’t done this challenge yet, it’s never too late to start!

Anonymous
Anonymous
9 years ago

The best changes in my opionin for personal development in all aspects of life! No Fap 4 life.

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  Anonymous

I agree on personal development, But how about No Fap till September 1?

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

TMI moment: This morning I was close to having a wet dream. I very rarely get those. Luckily for me, I immediately woke up and use my kegel strength until I fully woke up and went to the bathroom to release.

What’s the moral of the story? If you had a wet dream then you didn’t fail NOM. And NOM isn’t detrimental to your health. The tension will be relieved one way or another.

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  Chris V

Welcome to the Wet Dreams Society. Happened to me on my 16th day back when I did NOM in ’99 🙂

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago
Reply to  kikoymann

lol, thanks kikoymann! I guess I needed the relief 🙂

E N
E N
9 years ago

WARNING: Having sex, does NOT make it easier (in other words, I failed)

I’m single, but in a “casual relationship” with a nice girl. We connect when we can. We are both consenting adults, but with hectic lives and schedules, that have little time for anything emotional or serious at this point.

Prior to Tim’s NOBNOM challenge, I was incidentally abstaining both vices. The booze was easy, I don’t normally drink, and had not had a drink in months. The masturbation, was interesting. My regular habit is probably 2-3 times a week, provided I’m not overly occupied. I was already a week in due to an insanely busy schedule (some 6am-11pm stuff), when Tim posted the challenge. I figured I already had a head start.

My “friend” and I likewise could not connect until recently. That’s when I fell off the wagon.

We had a “date”, last week. By this point, I was at almost 3 weeks without any release. I was a “goddam sexual tyrannosaurus”. Much to her delight. Very quick recovery(almost teenager levels), and insatiable. The next day she both complimented me on my sexual prowess the previous night, and complained. She was now very sore — oops.

The problem was, the flood-gates were now open. I was still super horny. Even more so than I was the previous night. Our night of passion had not slaked my lust, just made me thirstier. With her unable to take care of it, I *gave* in. I jerked it 4 times (to porn) that morning just to feel sane again.

2 nights ago, was my birthday. I fell off the wagon again, this time, with booze. As I stated prior, I hadn’t had any in a couple months. Not sure that really counts as falling-off, since I successfully completed that portion of the challenge ahead of time.

Here I am, a week in, abstaining from my touching my no-no area, and just starting the no booze portion again. *sigh*

Having sex midway through my challenge did NOT make it any easier. It made it worse. Also, you should probably warn your respective partners ahead of time. Maybe have them do the challenge with you, so they can have just as much pent up sexual energy to release, and not leaving you hanging.

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  E N

** Pat on the back ** I hear you. And I totally agree. Thanks for the thorough and detailed story, It’s really hard when you’ve conditioned yourself to porn. We’ll take this as a heads up EN. And belated happy birthday 🙂

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  E N

This was very enlightening to read as someone who does not have much sexual experience, thank you for that. If you take anything from this experience, I hope it’s that you are now aware of how strong your connection is between the need for intimacy and the urges with masturbation, and you’ve got the tools here to help you improve.

Charlie
Charlie
9 years ago

Love your stuff, Tim. Keep up the good work.

However, this recent invitation you’re challenging us with to participate in a 30 day wankless duration (I’d prefer to call it incarceration) seems a bit much …….. even for an 82 year old man of my age whose only remaining grasp onto a functioning, sexual outlet is still working, as well as one that even remotely smacks of being worth continuing to live for, is benched to stay out of play for 30 days.

.

In fact, my wanking appetite has surged to a crescendo from just reading this post…………so if you’ll excuse me, I gotta switch gears and tune in on some wanker action somewhere already in full awing.

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Charlie

82!! I’d love to ask you questions about your experience in sex and dating throughout your life. Let me know if you are comfortable doing an AMA right here.

anand
anand
9 years ago

9 days today and feel so better already.

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  anand

Good job 🙂 Feel free to browse the lift group for tips from those who were already ahead 🙂

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

Sometimes we have to stop and laugh at ourselves. I know that’s hard to do. “Why would I want to laugh at myself?”

Let me explain. As ridiculous as it sounds, you should laugh at the idea of masturbation or booze. Visualize or picture yourself masturbating or drinking booze. Sudden someone kicks you in the balls or the vagina. Sounds crazy? Guess what? I bet you laughed and said “that guy is nuts!” Hey, at least I got you to laugh. Mission accomplished 🙂

Sometimes we have to take a break from our stress and laugh to relieve our tension. I am going to an improv mixer and maybe even an improv show later today. I challenge you all to attend a comedy show, whether it’s sketch, stand-up, or an improv show. Or even see a funny movie this week.

You will feel better about yourself. And it will take your mind off your current situation.

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Chris V

I say to my friends all the time “I laugh about it because if I didn’t, I would cry”

Z
Z
9 years ago

Has anyone been using the WEEKLY STATS page on Lift for motivation? Checking in is nice, but seeing that chain of checkins is very satisfying to me.

JD

Spear
Spear
9 years ago

Hi Guys, I have been doing the no wanking/porn for about 2 weeks now. The results for me are unreal, way more focused, clearer, energetic, productive, just been getting shit done! Its actually amazes me, by making such a small change has made such a big impact. Tim your a legend for bringing this to my attention, bring on a couple of more challenges!!! Btw i think the porn/wanking is gone forever, it really is just a bad habit!

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Spear

Was this your first time?

alstill1
alstill1
9 years ago

Day 17: Over half way and I feel the habit forming. No after work drinks, at home drinks, night caps, brunch etc… Hedonic adaptation (look it up, pretty interesting stuff) is upon me. Stay strong fellow NOBNOMer’s.

Peace, love, etc…

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

“When you encourage others, you in the process are encouraged because you’re making a commitment and difference in that person’s life. Encouragement really does make a difference.” Zig Ziglar

Encouragement is vital to our success over any addiction. We all need it when we’re feeling down or struggling in life. That’s why I like Lift. We’re all here for each other.

Andrew
Andrew
9 years ago

Honestly, I’ve found that having sex makes it easier to stick with the challenge. Granted it happens very rarely with me so when it has this month it kind of releases the valve that has built up over the month. The no booze part is simple for me so many after this month I’ll try this with no soda. I’ve quit soda about 3 times in my life before for over a month or 2 at a time. It was relatively easy. I just had the thought that drinking a soda isn’t even something in comprehend. Also it helps knowing that it’s not like I’ll never do it again. That after the alloted time I can choose to do it again or not.

Caladan Brood
Caladan Brood
9 years ago

18 days in. Really feeling the weight of everything now. Haven’t cracked yet. Doing my best to use this time to face the music and really take a long look at whats been holding me back in life. Im discovering a lot about myself and noticing just how much i’ve been relying on booze and porn to escape realities I haven’t been strong enough to face yet. I hope everyone is savoring the battle and proud of themselves for taking on this challenge. Stay strong and good luck everyone.

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Caladan Brood

NOBNOM is just the beginning. It lifts the fog and auto programming so it enables you to become aware of other issues that you may have been facing in your life. And we all have issues, brother

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

“If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.”

Henny Youngman

Had a hard time sleeping last night. Just lying in bed with my random thoughts. When you’re left at your own devices, you start to think about things that you shouldn’t think about. Sex and masturbating was one of those.

I just wanted a goodnight’s sleep. Is that too much to ask for? But I wasn’t going to screw up my 30 day NOBNOM goal.

Eventually I fell asleep, guessing around 1ish or 2am. I was surprise to actually wake up at 5:11am. Eyes hurt a little bit, but I am proud that I didn’t jeopardize my goal.

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Chris V

Whenever I feel the urges or have the thoughts before bed, I think of Samuel L Jackson’s “Just go the f*#$& to sleep!”

Johnny Doe
Johnny Doe
9 years ago

First day I felt like I’m going to make it all the way to Labor day. Considering how many times an hour men think about sex, I’m not surprised M is an issue.

I keep pondering Hill’s, “The Mystery of Sex Transmutation”. If you’ve read it, do you have any thoughts on the subject? Tim, could you make any reading suggestions?

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Johnny Doe

I heard someone mention that book the other day. Is that about transferring sexual energy into other areas of productiveness like career/hobby/working out?

alstill1
alstill1
9 years ago

Day 19: Survived the birthday folks. Good thing I just decided to stay in with the wife and not tie one on like most birthdays in years past. I hope everyone else is feeling NOBNOMtastic!

Lots of love

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  alstill1

I remember one birthday I couldn’t drink because I was really sick so I took shots of medicine with everyone. Not a great idea…haha

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago

I made it. 21 days. How about you, what’s your confession?

https://www.lift.do/app/questions/8955-what-s-your-confessions

Johnny Doe
Johnny Doe
9 years ago
Reply to  kikoymann

I read your story. It was very brave of you to post it. I don’t spend much time M, but you on the other hand (so to speak)… I think NOBNOM may just be the start of something great for you. I wish you the best in after the challenge is over.

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  Johnny Doe

Thanks Johnny, I need to start somewhere. And I believe there’s much more exciting things along the way using these 30 day challenge format: No Smoking, No Sugar, Writing everyday, and the most surprising, I discovered I liked helping out, considering the fact that I’m the indifferent snob type.

Carry on bro!

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  Johnny Doe

Update: someone messaged me about that story, here’s the link:

https://www.lift.do/app/questions/8955-what-s-your-m-confessions

daveymoore1
daveymoore1
9 years ago

I’ve seen conflicting evidence about alcohol and testosterone levels. Is anyone measuring their T levels pre and post 30 day challenge to see what the actual affect is? I’d love to see what comes of that. Also would be interesting to then see if no more than the recommended drink allotment would also allow t levels to change (if in fact they do based on eliminating all alcohol in the first place)

As far as not masturbating, I’ve def seen increased energy levels and greater ability to focus but also more stress in general. As long as done in moderation, there’s nothing wrong with it and is actually beneficial to long term health if you don’t currently have a partner. Health benefits would include stress reduction as well as benefits to the prostate.

Thoughts?

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  daveymoore1

No, but studies have shown that testosterone may go up for a few days but eventually balances out and remains stagnant at a certain level for a long time. That’s why so many people start nofap and feel amazing, but start having doubts after the first week because of the leveling out. Granted, the level is still higher on a baseline level than if you masturbated often, but there are no additional increases in T.

My doctor friend told me this- when we M, our body uses Serotonin which is a stress regulator, so the more we do it the less serotonin our bodies produce, making it seem like we are more stressed.

daveymoore1
daveymoore1
9 years ago

Has anyone tested their t levels pre challenge and then plan on doing so post challenge? Tim – did you do this? I’d be interested in seeing what actual results of not boozing for 30 days is. Also then would like to see whether drinking recommended amount of alcohol intake would impact things in same way.

I’ve def seen more energy when cutting out masturbation as well as better focus. However, I also experience more stress and sleep isn’t quite as easy. Seems like moderating masturbation is the best play if you don’t have a partner. The health benefits related to stress and prostate would seem to benefit those not having regular sex with a partner.

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.”

Frederick Douglass

I often say to myself that I am a work in progress. Reality is, we are all works in progress. Some of us will have little to no difficulty with NOBNOM while other will struggle with it.

Don’t compare yourself to others. Instead focus on the small accomplishments you have made so far. If you fall off the wagon, get right back on.

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  Chris V

I hear you Chris, a lot of readers here, including me, will find these lines useful. props to you!

Felipe
Felipe
9 years ago

I am here to report i endured a 20 day challenge. Since i already don’t drink, it was only no masturbation. But today i felt it would be better to do it. I was thinking too much on girls and sex. But will start again, this time going for the full 30.

I experienced a huge difference when having regular sex and not. Having sex 2-3 per week makes this no masturbation almost as not a challenge at all. When without sex, or even making out (kissing and hugging), the challenge takes a whole new level.

That’s how it was for me at least.

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  Felipe

I noticed most challengers are doing NOM. props to you Felipe 😀

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

“The people you surround yourself with influence your behaviors, so choose friends who have healthy habits.” Dan Buettner Often times at work, the guys talk about sex related stuff (strip clubs, female celebrities, etc) and getting wasted. Don’t get me wrong, we’re all guys and I have been there at one point or another. But sometimes I wish we could talk about another something else. A lot of that stuff is in the past and I would like to keep it there. While I can’t choose my co-workers, I can choose my friends and the people I hang around with outside of work. Be careful of the people you surround yourself with. They can either encourage or corrupt you.

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Chris V

They say you are the average of your 5 closest friends. There’s nothing wrong with cutting out toxic people or friends who don’t help you grow and make you feel good. Surround yourself with people who are interested in growth and have much to offer, to enrich your life, and you theirs.

Hammer
Hammer
9 years ago

Great challenge, although the site wouldn’t allow me to sign up. I am reading You are not your Brain to help me change limiting beliefs and change bad habits. One uses 4 steps to interupt the brain circuits created by deceptive brain messages that lead to these limiting beliefs and change bad habits. Step 1 is relabel where you become aware of the negative thoughts that create uncomfortable sensations in your body and lead to unhealthy behavior. Step 2 is to reframe the deceptive brain messages and cease trying to stop them; rather you allow them to be present and change the persepective to faulty brain wiring. Step 3 is to refocus to a healthy reaction to the thoughts instead of automatically returning to the unhealthy habit. Step 4 is to revalue…I haven’t read this far so do not know the step yet. All in all this is the best book I have read in changing habits and limiting beliefs. Positive thinking never worked because these thoughts become part of who we think we are. The process is intended to change the wiring in our brains and weaken paths creating from trying to cope with negative feelings and create new paths that become automatic. Interesting side note: social pain such as rejection is felt in the same part of the brain as physical pain and that is why one feels body sensations such as fight or flight when a break up occurs…or if giving up NOM has been linked as a coping mechanism to social rejection. Good read but this process is WORK, and must be practiced every day, you are changing your brain using your mind.

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  Hammer

“and must be practiced every day, you are changing your brain using your mind”

Even though I knew this all my life, I was caught off guard when I’m going thru this challenge: All we need is consistency.

**high five!**

Natasha D
Natasha D
9 years ago

I haven’t been on the blog with comments as much just because Lift has been so amazing and people have been so active on their putting most of my attention that way. But I did want to leave another comment here and say how amazing this challenge has been! The people I’ve been able to talk to and help and in turn help myself have been awesome. Thanks for this challenge and introducing me to Lift cause I’ve joined a few other things and probably will join more ^_^

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  Natasha D

Damn right Natasha! I’m surprised to found Lift that helpful. After this challenge I’m looking forward to hang around the app and the challenges there.

alstill1
alstill1
9 years ago

Day 21: I hope all is calm on the NOBNOM front for everyone else. Not much new as far as the challenge. Still have urges but am calmly ignoring them. Stay strong folks

Peach, love, etc….

Leo Tabibzadegan
Leo Tabibzadegan
9 years ago

Every single relapse http://i.imgur.com/FqZpbc0.gif (via reddit, lol) -NOM

Leo Tabibzadegan
Leo Tabibzadegan
9 years ago

Every single relapse – http://i.imgur.com/FqZpbc0.gif – via Reddit (lol)) NOM

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

“Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It’s the fear that we’re not good enough.”

Brene Brown

“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.”

Brené Brown, I Thought It Was Just Me: Women Reclaiming Power and Courage in a Culture of Shame

Often times we experience shame when discussing our addictions. We’re a shame of our “failures”. Instead of seeking help, we hide in the darkness, hoping that no one turns on the light.

In the past, I would often feel shame after I had masturbated. I would become disgusted with myself and vow never to do it again. Even online, typing the word gives me the creeps. In my mind, masturbation were for lovers that were temporary separated from each other by distance (out of town business, military, etc) .

Confession is the only way to overcome shame. Some may not choose to do so because of ridicule from loved ones and friends.

If that isn’t an option, then I would like to recommend a support group. Either online (Lift for ex.) or at a Celebrate Recovery support group. There’s something therapeutic about opening up to strangers that share the same addiction., whether it be alcohol or masturbation.

I hope you all have a great weekend.

Johnny Doe
Johnny Doe
9 years ago

After getting past a few bad days about 9-10 days into the challenge, my body must have settled into the routine. Work hard, avoid sexy imagery as much as possible, eat well and try to get a good night’s sleep.

Don’t get me wrong, I still thinking about B and M, but I can’t imagine a scenario where I will succumb.

Not playing with fire (watching pron) seems like a no-brainer, but so many participants have asked if it’s “OK”, I had to mention it. I’d describe that as allowable, but dangerous. If you want to complete the challenge, and perhaps develop a new appreciation for real sex, you might consider avoidance.

Checking my “Weekly Stats” on LIFT after checking in is very satisfying. I check them twice a day. Such a simple thing does give me a little happy sense of accomplishment. That LIFT “high five” yesterday was pretty cool too.

Carry on NOBNOMers.

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Johnny Doe

Very dangerous. I once made it 70 days right before this challenge and one slip up and it made me hungry for more. Next thing you know I was sneaking peaks every day and for increasing periods of time until it became a dopamine parade. Don’t do it, not even for a second.

Andrew
Andrew
9 years ago

After the 30 days is up on this I’m going to start a NOFFNOS month long challenge. Fast food and soda are getting to be a big problem for me. I’ve quit numerous times in the past. Will take the next month off from those after completing this. The big achievement will be to not completely revert back to how it was after the 30 days is over.

Natasha D
Natasha D
9 years ago
Reply to  Andrew

That is great you’re taking on something else Andrew, I hope it goes well for you!

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

Just just finished reading “You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!” by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo. In one particular chapter, it mentions that many ADD and ADHD people struggle with addictions, including sexual addiction and alcohol addiction. Masturbation and booze fall in this category.

I highly recommend this book to anyone that has ADD or ADHD.

llllllshadowllllll
llllllshadowllllll
9 years ago
Reply to  Chris V

Interesting. I saw a show on PBS titled, “ADD & Loving It”. I have a feeling ADD is more widespread than people think.

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

“I regret those times when I’ve chosen the dark side. I’ve wasted enough time not being happy.” Jessica Lange

Today is my birthday. I sometimes think about all the time wasted with my addictions. All the junk food that I ate while watching countless hours of tv. The time spent surfing the internet or looking at pornography. I could have used that time wisely to better myself. Because of this,I rarely mention my age to others.

Don’t be like me and let regret consume you. Today I will celebrate my 34th birthday by doing a variety of things including swimming, eating a home cooked meal from my mom, and attending a Master Pancake Theater show (think Mystery Science Theater 3000). I hope you all have a blessed Sunday.

llllllshadowllllll
llllllshadowllllll
9 years ago
Reply to  Chris V

Happy Birthday!

Chris
Chris
9 years ago

How about a challenge for Tim’s next podcast guest to Not say Like at least very 5 seconds.

Mark
Mark
9 years ago

Hi all, this may not be the right place for this question but your open replies prompted the thought. Its a question of online identity. I’m interested in your views on the use of pseudonyms or real name identities. Being totally yourself or editing your social media selves because expressing some ideas may be unpopular with family or with employers.

I work in a government department and self edit my social media updates. I’m considering being more open, political views etc. My “real name” online identity is very useful for work, should I have a pseudeonym for personal social media. What do you guys do? Tim, you have been VERY open on your blog, I guess you spent time considering the pro and cons. What is your view?

llllllshadowllllll
llllllshadowllllll
9 years ago
Reply to  Mark

That’s tough. If you don’t care what other’s think and are willing to suffer the consequences for any misunderstanding or disagreements, you should use your real name.

I’ve been noticing lately that there appears to be less tolerance for people using pseudonyms on social media. Anonymity can bring out some terrible speech online, no doubt.

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  Mark

I understand, yet recommend you go for the pseudonym, Less worry, yet more expression.

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

I had a good birthday weekend. Did multiple things involving movies, swimming, exercising, reading, church, and a comedy show mocking a movie. But man, I am tired today. Felt good to have a lot of birthday wishes via Facebook, text, LinkedIn, email, Lift, and in person.

“We usually know what we can do, but temptation shows us who we are.”

Thomas a Kempis

We all face temptation in our everyday lives, especially when it comes to our addictions. We may see something pleasant to the eye and want to relieve that tension in private. Or we may get invited to a social gathering that involves a lot of drinking. Sometimes I want to go out and meet new people, but a lot of the events involve heavy drinking. I could always drink water, but why risk the temptation. There are other ways to have fun without partaking in alcohol.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have had a few beers from time to time. But I limit myself to two. It’s all in moderation. I could either limit myself to my addictions or I could avoid it all together if the addiction is that great. The choice is yours.

I hope you all had a great weekend.

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Chris V

There are also lots of events that don’t require drinking. Meetup.com is a great resource and there are groups for virtually everything from chess to crossfit and volleyball.

alstill1
alstill1
9 years ago

Day 25: After 25 days of perfect check ins I forgot to yesterday! I can’t believe I forgot! I guess I’m getting that used to my life of monkhood. Anyways…. feeling great on day 25. Meditating along with this and feeling great. Sleeping way better without the booze. Stay strong all.

Peace, love, etc….

Johnny Doe
Johnny Doe
9 years ago
Reply to  alstill1

You do know you can go back and “check-in” for yesterday, right?

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

I know some of us (including me) originally did the 30 Day NOBNOM challenge because of the money. But I quickly realized why Tim issued the challenge,

“Experts claimed that complete abstinence of a habit for 21 to 30 days will be enough to break it. So, you don’t have to worry about having to continuously struggle to not indulge in a habit for the rest of your life. After 21 to 30 days, you would have surpassed the required threshold.”

[Moderator: link removed]

If we are staying true to our 30 day commitment, then we may truly minimize our addictions. Even eliminate them all together. Would I like to win some money? Sure. I could use it for my finances. However, I am looking to make this habit a life long experience.

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

“Don’t waste time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind.”

Mary Schmich

Tonight I will have my final level 3 improv class. Immediately after class, we will perform in front of a supportive audience. The last time we performed, it was a little rough. But with time we have improved in the art of improv. Thankfully, jealousy never divided us.

It’s easy to get jealous of others. We see someone on Facebook posting something positive in their lives and we immediately become green with envy.

“Man, he always the life of the party!”

“I wish I had his job. I hate mine.”

“Why am I always in a rut?”

Sometimes I wonder if we can become jealous of each other on Lift? It’s possible. For some the 30 Day Challenge is a piece of cake. For others, it can be the hardest thing in the world. But we all progress differently. We’re going to slip up from time to time. It happens. I use to be the type of person that gives up all the time if I messed up once.

Now I’m keeping my eye on the prize. More than likely I will slip up. I will be tempted to drink with others. I will be tempted to look at sexually explicit sites or masturbate. I might even be jealous of others. But I will not let that stop me from accomplishing my task. I hope you are all doing well today.

alstill1
alstill1
9 years ago

Day 27: 3…….more……….days!!!! We’re all almost there. I can smell the bottle of wine waiting at the finish line. Home stretch

Think happy thoughts

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

My last level 3 improv class went well. And our student showcase was good. I could have been better,but I am probably being a little bit hard on myself. I decided to stay for the second show. Of course, they were offering free beer. I almost got one until I remembered the NOB challenge. So I avoided it. The opportunity for free beer came again in the 2nd half of the show when one of the performers offered 13 beers to the audience. Good grief! But there were more than 13 hands raised, so I dodged a bullet on that one.

“Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, ‘What’s in it for me?”

Brian Tracy

Have you considered helping others that are going through alcohol and sexual addiction? Often times our struggles make us a better person. And it also gives us compassion when dealing with others with similar issues. People will respond better and open up if they are confiding in someone that knows where they have been in life.

Tonight I am going to a Celebrate Recovery small groups that deals with these issues. I hope to learn something there and meet new people. I hope you all will help others after this 30 day challenge.

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Chris V

I went to improv once but got busy with other stuff. Where do you go?

kikoymann
kikoymann
9 years ago
Reply to  Raymond

Good thing that you’re getting busy, Improv classes are awesome keep it up!

BTW I recommend you hang around the guys @ LIFT NoBNoM https://www.lift.do/app/plans/310770-nobnom we’re all ready to help out 🙂

Johnny Doe
Johnny Doe
9 years ago

This is the last Friday of the official NOBNOM challenge. It’s been quite a ride, so I’m wondering, is anyone going to miss NOBNOM?

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”

William Arthur Ward

Last night, after 2-3 years I decided to attend a another Celebrate Recovery small groups. I was nervous, despite the fact that it was held at my church. Men and women attend these for a variety of reasons, but mine was for sexual addiction aka masturbation and pornography. Gratitude was the theme of today’s small group. After the introductions/praise and worship program/12 step guidelines were done, we went to our small group classes.

I walked in the room and met 4 other individuals, one being the small group leader. One at a time we shared our rants and struggles with our addictions. Interesting enough, we were letting it all out without fear of being judged. In the past,there were some awkward silence here and there, but last night was different. We all opened up and had a few laughs. It was therapeutic.

I was thankfully for attending the small group. I’m hoping to attend next Thursday.

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

“Don’t judge a man until you walk a mile in his shoes.”

Day 30 is here. The final day of the NOBNOM. It has been an interesting 30 days. The time actually flew by. While doing this challenge I started to develop a better understanding of the dangers of frequent masturbation or alcohol consumption. For some, the urge might be too strong. A variety of triggers can set off it-lack of sleep, long distance, lack of intimacy, pornography,etc.

I will admit that I am still learning new thing not only of myself, but of others too. It never crossed my mind to judge others struggling with these addictions, but I try to use my words carefully. Any negative comments can result in relapse. After all, we’re all here to support each other, online and offline.

My hope is that we all have a better understanding of ourselves and others dealing with these addictions. I hope you have a safe Labor Day weekend. And congratulations to you all for making it to Day 30 of NOBNOM.

thubten2001
thubten2001
9 years ago

The end is Just in Time for Burning Man 2014!

http://burners.me/2014/01/03/naked-goddesses/

Johnny Doe
Johnny Doe
9 years ago
Reply to  thubten2001

One more day for me and there’s NO WAY I’m clicking on a link with “naked-goddesses” in the url. 🙂

Sean
Sean
9 years ago

The benefits of this challenge are so false, as a result of cutting these two often efficient methods of relaxation out of your life, you’re bound to become more stressed. This would contradict these apparent health & lifestyle rewards you’re promoting. Stop trying to get others others to participate in your pointless game. None of this is rewarding.

Johnny Doe
Johnny Doe
9 years ago
Reply to  Sean

Did you try it, or are you simply making a comment? I’ve gone 31 days and while stressful at times, I have to say I’m better for the experience. I think it’s not the worst idea to examine one’s habits. To really put yourself under a microscope and try to discover why it is you do things.

Check the NOBNOM Lift page if you don’t believe me. A lot of people, both men and woman, have expressed similar experiences.

Chris V
Chris V
9 years ago

“Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.”

Margaret J. Wheatley

It has been quite a journey. It’s amazing how much I have learned in this 30 day challenge. But where do I go from here?

I will continue to check in from time to time to get/offer support. In addition, I will continue to go to the Celebrate Recovery

small group on Thursdays.

I do have a concern though. That concern is for some of the folks in the 30 day challenge. There’s nothing wrong

with an occasional drink or pleasuring yourself. But if you find yourself constantly doing it or using it as a crutch, then I hope you reconsider doing the challenge again or seeking help.

Regardless, I know the good people of Lift will always be here. God Bless.

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago
Reply to  Chris V

Chris, it’s been an honor

alstill1
alstill1
9 years ago

DONE! Can you believe it. We all did it. Cheers and bottoms up to all. The biggest thing I’ve learned from this challenge is just that it shed light on another aspect of my daily choices that some times become automatic. To be an all around conscious choice maker and not be stuck on autopilot. I will definitely carry aspects of this challenge with me for the rest of my lift. Sending my best to everyone that participated.

Congrats!

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago

Welcome to the graduating class of NOBNOM 2014. Gentlemen, it’s been an honor.

Ro Le V
Ro Le V
9 years ago

Congrats to everyone who completed the challenge! What a life change. I wish you all the best moving forward and I’ll see you on the Lift!

Jay
Jay
9 years ago

So for the NOM part of NOBNOM, are there 3 things to avoid doing?

1. No porn

2. No masturbating (physical stimulation)

3. No ejaculation

Yes, I know that #2 usually ends up with #3, but is it specifically the constant ejaculation that leads to chronically low Testosterone levels?

Johnny Doe
Johnny Doe
9 years ago
Reply to  Jay

Yes. That’s pretty much it.

Watching porn is a bad idea, especially when you want to avoid 2 &3.

I believe that both frequent M, as well as drinking B both lead to low T levels.

Best of luck!

EveningStarNM
EveningStarNM
9 years ago
Reply to  Jay

No. Ejaculation of any frequency DOES NOT lead to chronically low testosterone levels. That’s a myth promoted by people who want you to suppress normal and natural sexual behavior such as masturbation. Ejaculation, in fact, has absolutely nothing to do with your testosterone levels. Consult a qualified physicial, preferably and endocrinologist, if you suspect you don’t produce enough testosterone. More likely, however, your body produces the exact amount that it requires. Ejaculation leads only to a temporary, short-term, and minor depletion of a limited supply of semen and sperm. But your body can replenish it with a couple of hours.

Fredrik
Fredrik
9 years ago

Day 3 of Nobnom + slow carb. My energy levels are at an all time high. And I’ve been superproductive (Tough sporadic, but maybe thats the coffe doing it’s thing)

Raymond
Raymond
9 years ago

In the past month, I’ve sent out 4 job applications (Serious ones), became head DJ for a nightlife company and secure gigs for another nightlife group, and signed up for the gym again, going back to exercising at least 2x a week. This is coming from being lazy and bitter about my job, no gigs, and only doing pushups at home. Also, I have a shit ton of time and instead of spending money on porn, I’m making money from the extra effort I put into my business. Not bad.

daveymoore1
daveymoore1
9 years ago

So now that the month is up, did anyone actually test their pre start overall T and free T levels before beginning this and then again after 30 days? I’m very interested to hear if this experiment had any affect. That was the hypothesis at the beginning but I’m skeptical that this did anything to actually increase T levels but looking for data on this. I would guess you’d have more energy but I think the stress incurred from no orgasm release (if you aren’t having regular sex that is) may offset that. I saw the studies Tim referenced re: no booze increasing T levels but there are just as many showing that alcohol has little to no effect on T levels. Some studies also show that T levels are highest 7 days after ejaculation. Thanks for the any data points/feedback.

TS
TS
9 years ago

Finding this really difficult, been doing it for september couldnt get the liftdo to work on my phone, I’m still getting hangovers from nights out when im just drinking water and I’ve realised that at the age of near 28 I’ve never asked a girl for her number, feeling very frustrated and almost giving myself anxiety attacks trying to talk to women

Sidra Ahmed
Sidra Ahmed
9 years ago

It kind of makes me SAD to see people so despondent about not being able to watch p–n. I don’t want to date any guy who has been watching thousands of naked girls doing all sorts of acts, training his brain to look for more depravity and novelty. But the comments make it seem like what I’m looking for is very elusive. :/

Johnny Doe
Johnny Doe
9 years ago
Reply to  Sidra Ahmed

Fear not! Though the audience is widespread, it is also adaptable to the real world. The world with real women.

Stigen
Stigen
9 years ago

Testosterone is too hyped up. I am sadly in the process of loosing my hair due to male pattern baldness/androgenic alopecia, and so is Tim Ferris I believe! This is all due to my bloody testosterone…I`m actually taking pills to decrease my testosteron…which has done nothing at all for my hair, or sex drive.

Please come up with a hack for reversing androgenic alopcia…for now I will keep on spanking the monkey every morning after breakfast.

EveningStarNM
EveningStarNM
9 years ago
Reply to  Stigen

God gave you testosterone. Who are you to say He was wrong?

Mauro Marinho
Mauro Marinho
9 years ago

there is more benefits in it then I thought: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMgAJwc7ocE #neverseen #incredible

EveningStarNM
EveningStarNM
9 years ago

Masturbation leads to mental health. This is why so many advocates of avoiding masturbation act so strangely. Many such repressed people go on to commit violent sex crimes. It is why so many “conservative” politicians, especially, who advocate so-called “family values” (assuming that their values should be everyone else’s) end up being publicly embarrassed when their true behavior becomes public knowledge. Accepting that sexuality, including masturbation, are acceptable and healthy aspects of human existence, and that suppressing them leads to unhealthy minds, is what we should be teaching. A “fetish”, for instance, is only a fetish to someone with different preferences, and their preferences might be considered to be fetishes by others. Marriage, a social contract originally invented to provide for the management of property, is not necessary for healthy sex.

Live and let live, but live. Enjoy sex. It’s purpose is as much to promote bonding as it is reproduction.

Russ
Russ
9 years ago

So being kind of selfish here but I did all the steps in the hopes of winning the moola. And I completed the challenge. So I was wondering who won?

leatz1jd
leatz1jd
9 years ago

A little late to the commenter pool (I think) but I have to wonder in the spirit of the biohacking if anyone thinks it is plausible to use things like masturbation and porn as a way to facilitate learning an habit forming.

I mean I assume we’ve all read Tim’s book here and know that the pareto principle in action is a great tool. However, I think a little bit of sexual reward could go a long way.

Been really fascinated by the No-Fap challenge and am in the midst of my second. However, I think we could use this for good and better learning. [Moderator: link removed]

Philip Cariño
Philip Cariño
9 years ago

Very difficult. Very very difficult indeed. Hahahaha. Will look into trying this out soon!

Tachiban
Tachiban
9 years ago

I tried this hoping it would help my INSOMNIA, which has been an ongoing nightmare for over two years. I only did this experiment for 18 days, but it seems to have improved my sleep immensely, even almost two months after the experiment ended…almost as if my circadian rhythm had been rebooted. Has anyone else had such an outcome? I imagine that even moderate consumption of alcohol could be enough to keep one’s circadian rhythm broken long-term.

Neil O'Brien
Neil O'Brien
9 years ago

Tim,

Great article.

Didn’t realise you played hurling.

Neil

Luis Fig
Luis Fig
9 years ago

My friend showed me this site after I told her of my own commitment to not drink and be celibate for a 6 months period. After seeing how serious I’ve been about the drinking she pointed me to this site. Thanks for sharing!

livabetterlife
livabetterlife
9 years ago

Is this challenge still open?

Jesse Holmes
Jesse Holmes
9 years ago

Willpower, accountability partners, porn filters and trying to just quit cold turkey just doesn’t work… Masturbating to porn affects the chemicals in our brain just like any other hardcore drug addiction… Tell a heroine addict they just need more willpower to stop using and see how long they last…