The short version: I’d like to pay you to not drink or jerk off for 30 days. Sign up here and get your monk on.
Sex is A-OK.
The longer version is below, which includes juicy details, more options for women, and some farewell-porn suggestions…
###
You know who you are, you filthy animals.
Secret bookmarks to Pornhub (“Discount airfare” – Ha!), secret folders labeled “Tax Returns” for when wifi fails, bookmarks for animated GIFs in case of slow connections (curtsy to Tumblr), Hotspot Shield for when you’re in countries that ban your cherished images (download it before you fly!)…
Oh, wait. Am I projecting again?
Yes, I’ve admitted it before, and I’ll admit it again: dudes watch porn on the Internet. Shocker, I know. All those guys on the magazine covers? They do it, too.
Less obvious, perhaps, is how dramatically your life can change if you quit porn and masturbation for a short period.
I did this for 30 days recently, and — oddly enough — I found it much easier and more impactful to quit booze for the same 30 days. Just a few of the benefits I experienced included…
- A dramatic surge in free testosterone and sex drive. Dozens of my seemingly healthy male friends, techies in particular, have approached me over the years about chronically low testosterone. There are many potential causes, including late-night blue light, but removing booze and porn appear to open the flood gates. Research (example, example) shows that alcohol reduces testosterone levels. So…should you be dating more? Trying a little harder instead of wanking, watching Battlestar Galactica, and calling it a night? This will help motivate you.
- Increased ability to focus and cognitive endurance. This goes along with increased “T” mentioned above.
- Getting roughly 50-100% more done. When you aren’t nursing hangovers, chewing up 3-4 hours per night with friends, destroying your sleep with booze, or procrastinating with porn (you know who you are) — miracle of miracles — you get more done! A LOT more done. In my mind, this alone easily justifies a 30-day booze and porn fast. You’ll clear off that goddamn to-do list faster than Speedy Gonzales. And remember: sex is still allowed.
Join Me for Another 30 Days
Given how transformative this was for me, I’m inviting you to join me for another 30 days. After that, you can go back to your hedonistic ways. I enjoy porn, but I’ve concluded I can level up by taking breaks.
I’ll refer to our 30-day challenge as NOBNOM (NO Booze, NO Masturbating), as the acronym itself sounds pornographic. We gotta make this sumnabitch memorable.
Next steps are described below.
NOTE: If you don’t masturbate (a lot of women don’t but should), or if you otherwise don’t watch enough porn to care about abstaining, here’s another option:
NOBNOC — No Booze, No Complaining
For this version, please first read “Real Mind Control: The 21-Day No-Complaint Experiment.” Then, join the same NOBNOB challenge page to be part of the community.
Next Steps — Do It Now!
1. STEP 1 – Join the NOBNOM goal page here. This is free, and it will keep you accountable to yourself and others. This official challenge starts August 1st. That means you get to go crazy on September 1st. If you’re reading this another time, you can start whenever. I’m sure people will still be on the page.
2. STEP 2 – If you’re really serious, up the ante and put some cash on the line. As discussed at length in The 4-Hour Chef, without stakes or consequences, about 70% of you will fail. So… choose not to fail.
Below are two options, and I earn nothing from either. I’d suggest doing both of them, if possible:
- A. Create a betting pool with a few friends or co-workers. Each person commits $100 or whatever (enough to sting if lost, but not enough to bankrupt you) to the pot, and those who complete the full 30 days split the pot. Using this type of betting pool is partially how Tracy Reifkind lost 100+ pounds, so you can definitely use it on NOBNOM.
- B. Get an accountability coach by clicking here. They’ll email you daily to keep you on track, and you get the first week free by using coupon “NOBNOM.” It’s otherwise $14.99 per week, so the month costs you $45. There are two coaches, and they have bandwidth for 200 people. The coaches: one is a former senior staffer from OneTaste (remember the 4-Hour Body orgasm chapters?). The other coach successfully stopped masturbating and is trained in accountability coaching.
3. STEP 3 – If you’d like to participate in 1-3 support meetings and private Q&As, sign up for my e-mail list and you’ll get the invites. I’ll probably host live video chats, 60-minutes long, and I’ll dedicate 15-20 minutes to the AA meeting-type stuff. The NoFap page on reddit might also be helpful for some of y’all.
And that’s it!
How You Get Paid
I’m putting $1,000 of my own cash on the line, and Lift (which I advise) is putting up $500, for a total of $1,500.
Here’s how you get it:
1) You must complete the 30-day challenge (Aug 1-31, 2014) on the NOBNOM goal page I’ve linked to throughout this post. We’ll audit this.
2) You must put some of your cash on the line, using one of the above listed approaches. It shouldn’t be enough to hurt you, but it needs to be enough to motivate you.
3) You must leave helpful feedback, tips, and/or encouragement for others, on both that page and in the comments below.
After the challenge, the Lift team, my jury of magic elves, and I will choose the three (3) most helpful people, and each will get $500 USD. Bam!
Get excited and get on it.
So, What Are You Waiting For?
If you’ve been feeling less than super-productive, slightly lethargic, or mildly depressed, do this 30-day challenge. If you simply want to level-up your life, do this 30-day challenge.
At the very least, it’ll make you conscious of automatic behaviors. Things you’ve done for so long that you know nothing else.
If you’re like me, once the fat starts melting off and you’re feeling like a different person, you’ll say to yourself:
“Holy shit, my baseline for the last 10 years [or 5 or 15 or whatever] has been fucked! I totally forgot what it feels like to live clean.”
Perhaps living clean ended for you after high school, or even before, as it did for me. Why not get reacquainted for 30 days? Chances are that it’s been a while.
A Parting Gift
If you need a last hurrah before 30 days of being a good boy or girl, here are a few options for party time:
- A bottle of 2011 Ménage à Trois red. It’s delicious.
- A viewing of “Momoko and Anjelica,” available through Ze Google. It’s also delicious, and DEFINITELY not suitable for work.
- A chaser of club soda with lots of lime. You might be having lots of these, so get friendly.
Welcome to Thunderdome! You’ll thank me later.
See you on NOBNOM central.
Pura vida,
Tim
The Tim Ferriss Show is one of the most popular podcasts in the world with more than one billion downloads. It has been selected for "Best of Apple Podcasts" three times, it is often the #1 interview podcast across all of Apple Podcasts, and it's been ranked #1 out of 400,000+ podcasts on many occasions. To listen to any of the past episodes for free, check out this page.
Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you’re rude, we’ll delete your stuff. Please do not put your URL in the comment text and please use your PERSONAL name or initials and not your business name, as the latter comes off like spam. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation! (Thanks to Brian Oberkirch for the inspiration.)
This is a great idea. A few years back I gave up masturbation for quite a while (cannot remember exact time), felt full of energy, and just being near a female felt exciting again!! With the Booze thing I find around the time I fancy a drink I plan another activity, like working out, or writing or something. I suppose the same could be applied to Masturbation.
Aaand, I am out:
booze or the wanker?
Christ, I’m already struggling. It’s not my fault all the women around here are hot.
Would you happen to be Owen from RSD? Lol
Just think of the possible pay-off at the end! Not necessarily in money but in what you could achieve in this month. Thinking of what you could have might help or taking it day by day with little goals. different things work for different people
I’m literally starting this challenge at the time of morning where I would usually get in some porn time before starting my day. Skipping the porn allowed me to answer emails and get a few extra things done. This isn’t going to be easy, but I am competing with a friend, and I’m not letting that guy beat me! Let’s do this!
On a side note, keep the answering emails in the morning to a minimum as it will distract from better and more productive tasks since you’ll be focusing too much on trying to put out fires than building glorious things to help the world
Well, I have a girlfriend and actually am not a vivid alcohol drinker so this is not a big test for me since I have unintentionally done it several times…Can’t say it has any GREAT beneficial effects at all…It just doesn’t kill you like alcohol does…
Here’s some more science to support this challenge. Fascinating TEDx talk: “The Great Porn Experiment” by Gary Wilson. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU
A common argument against taking this challenge has been that masturbation is healthy. While that might be the case, positive and negative effects are not black and white. I suggest any guy using this as an excuse to try one month of abstention from fapping. You have very little to lose and everything to gain. This one month experiment will not cause any permanent/long-term damage to your body, but might rather unleash the positive side-effects of exercising will-power that transcends into other aspects of your life that far outweigh any of the negatives. Be clear on the challenge. It’s not saying abstain from sex with a partner; it is staying abstain from porn/masturbation.
The other thing I’d like to emphasize is that porn/fapping re-inforce beta-male qualities. If that’s your thing, have at it.
+1 for @Raymond’s suggestion of visiting YourBrainOnPorn. It’s a great resource.
I would even say abstaining from drinking adds double.to your confidence and productivity. You can now be the guy that means it when he says “I’ll never get drunk again”. People think they’re confident when they drink and approach women when really it’s another dependency. You’re not building true confidence in yourself, just a temporary fix, a poor one at best
Day 1: Let’s do this!
For myself the NOM is the battle, NOB is no problem. Actually I NOM yesterday 🙂 so
I’m off to a good start I’d say.
Although I did enjoy the recommended viewing of momoko and anjelika two days ago. Sad that I never knew of this one before.
Anyways I look forward to see how much more productive I’ll be in my business!
Thanks Ferriss
Day one NOBNOM, so far feeling good
Cheers, to porn free, booze free, and complaining free…until September 2nd!
Due to sketchy chronic health challenges I am unemployed: these will be some long and many days! I chose to add the no complaining element as well. I do it, too much, usually in the form of vulgar blurts in traffic or reacting to senseless harm in the world.
As a person with chronic conditions I find a specific, behavioral, participative approach to support is essential to build well-being for not all of us get better but we still need a reason and a direction to keep walking in the hopes we can sprint again!
I am focusing on how I will enjoy my newly acquired time and most importantly to me, additional energy rather than on what I am loosing, missing, or fear failing. So I am using this time to learn Spanish!
Great idea to learn another language and stay grateful instead of complaining! Keep that attitude and yo will finish this challenge as a better person than when you started! Keep up the good work!
I am really excited about this and wish everyone else the best of luck.
Game ON!
Ok, I’m in. I registered on the NOBNOM page. I am an Army Reservist and currently deployed to Afghanistan so the NOB is a done deal. The NOM part slightly more challenging. Who knows, I may unleash some latent, previously undeveloped super-power or just get really cranky and frustrated. I am leaning towards super-power.
First, I just want to say thank you for your service. What you do is a bigger challenge than ours. Studies have shown that it gives you increased energy and focus, and sharpness when it comes to using motor skills in contexts like sports. It could help you in the field or training as well. I recall a funny anecdote from Richard Marcinko, founder of Seal Team Six, whose CO sent him to Vietnam which was what he wanted because “the lack of pussy will make him mean and kill some VC for him” lol.
Good luck to everyone out there on day one! aside from NOBNOM and NOC I am also setting daily goals to get outside my comfort zone. yesterday was hot yoga, today I will start a conversation with a complete stranger on my lunch break, tomorrow I’m going to take a random day trip to somewhere I have never been before. I hope everyone is ready for a great “pure” weekend! Please let me know if you have any suggestions for me as far as my daily goals to get outside my comfort zone! Thank you! Happy NOBNOM!
Take small steps and have easy, measurable, attainable goals. Don’t take on too much too fast, like get phone numbers from attractive women by tomorrow.
There is a lot of missing info here. What about “extra-curricular” sexual activities with a partner? Are those allowed?
Anything you do with a sexually partner is healthy. That’s the way it was meant to be
Here is a serious question for you. What is your definition of masturbation?…do you have to achieve orgasm?
You say that one main advantage will be increased energy and testosterone. I often masturbate, but stop before coming. It helps me maintain lots of energy and it keeps the testosterone flowing. Sometimes I’ll do it before working out at the gym.
The moment you fantasize and touch yourself you are masturbating. It’s not the orgasm as many people think. When you stroke yourself while watching porn or fantasizing you are reinforcing that connection in your brain. Try not doing it for a while you’ll realize your testosterone will be higher too. That eventually levels out but you allow your body to use dopamine properly, which is the reward/motivation chemical that gets you to the gym and crunch out those reps!
Day 1: Let us attack NOBNOM with vigor (or abstain with vigor, which ever you prefer)!
Peace, Love, etc…
I told all my workmates about this and they are intentionally making it very tough (porn and all varieties of alcohol being left in front of me). They bought me a pint today and I held it until all three of them finished a third of their each, before topping their drink up. Let’s see if I’m making showing such self control next week!
Good luck everyone.
Greetings Day 1! I don’t know about anyone else but I went out with a bang last night and woke up with the last hangover I’ll have for a while. My brain being dysfunctional today is a temporary hurdle because I know I have 30 mega productive days ahead. Lots of healthy eating, reading, and learning the guitar.
I am looking forward to gaining a rock solid foundation of patience, persistence, and production in my dating/sexual activity life and work ventures. I’m the kind of guy who has a lot going on at once, so I anticipate the extra focus being super beneficial to honing all of the girls/activities/jobs and managing them in wicked sharp fashion. Will likely be on here every other day at least, so look forward to cheering you all on!
Also interested in being an accountability partner if anyone needs. I am hoping to talk with one of my dating candidates to see if they could hold me accountable in person but I’m all for being there for someone on the InterGoogle. Peace!!!
– Jeph
I asked this on the Lift app and thought I would do the same on here. As a former, struggling porn addict myself, how many others here are willing to be vulnerable with me and admit that they have/had a problem with pornography? I think it’s an issue that affects way more people than are willing to admit. I don’t mean occassional use of pornography or masturbation, I’m talking the kind of use that keeps you from your goals, that steals your dreams, that destroys your relationships. I’ve been there and I know how painful it is. If you join this 30 day challenge, let’s do this together and regain your stolen dreams!
12 years a slave brother and been trying to quit for 2. Suffered from ED a d unable.to talk to a woman as a human being instead of an object of gratification
Nearly 30 years for me, and 5 of those were in the industry. Still wound up getting married, but it really has been the root of many challenges that I still face daily. I’ve been trying to quit for the last 10 years, with much the same success as a 30 year smoker — only there’s no patch for pr0n.
@Tim were you more tempted to drink or beat the monkey b/c of NOBNOM?
heheheheh..you said Nob…
Just signed up!
How would you keep track of our betting pool with friends?
i don’t know how tim talked me into this… but I’m doing it…im in! cheers everyone… errr… maybe thats not the best sign off for the next 30 days.
Just the motivation I needed to get going on this. My strategy is going to be to stay very active. I started Yoga last month so I’ll be doing that one or more times a week and lifting at least 2 times a week.
Just the motivation I needed to get started on this.
My strategy is going to be to stay physically active. Lift 2+ times a week, run 1+ times a week and yoga 1+ times a week. http://www.yourbrainonporn.com is an awesome resource I’ve used before.
Why is this so difficult? I’m really struggling here. Can’t even think straight.
Day 1 in the books. Signed up for stickK, have $120 riding on 4 separate commitments (including NOBNOM). Time to get to work.
why the hell would I want to give up something I enjoy for your myths about what it’ll do for you. I off to whack off.
Take it all the way become a Tibetan monk and get brainwash away from a life of sex except for tantric sex. Live in a cave and meditate for the rest of your life. Wear robes and be tempted to play banana monkey with every step and squat down to your cushion. Or you could simply be present in this moment…really really present while jerking, while abstaining, while being free from substances, while being stoned at the treasure island festival, while getting out of bed and living another fucking day in this body! What does being present mean? It means watching and relaxing ever sense and sensation, free of any mind bullshit and not getting stuck in thought loops or emotional self indulgences.
1) Signed up. 2) $$$ on the line. 3) day 1 down.
Stay productive, eliminate the b.s. & thrive.
Yeah Buddy!
Signed up too.
This is great! Perfect timing and I can’t wait to give this a go. Day 1 is in the books – had to edge out those cravings with a hard workout. Nothing takes out aggression like loud music and heavy weights! Thanks for posting this, Tim.
I start 2 August. Lets do it. So come on.
So sex is ok, masturbation not. What about hookers? I am living in Germany and normally I go every once in a while but since I´ve startet the challenge I am thinking of going there every minute. Is it ok?
Damn, I’ve got 2 weddings this month – one will be more challenging than the other as the wife and I are there without kids for the first time in a year – are we allowed a cheat day? That being said, although its Aug. 2nd, I met the criteria on Aug 1st (odd for a Friday, for me) so I could take the plunge… Very cool idea
I wonder if the beginning of the popularity of alcohol and the discovery of wanking lead to this?
http://www.wallstreetotc.com/lower-testosterone-levels-led-modern-civilized-societies/26358/
For those of you who are looking at this post and are sitting on the fence about taking this challenge… “Don’t fear failure. Not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.” -Bruce Lee
Thanks Tim for posting this and facilitating change. I’m so glad so many people are doing this at the same time. I have been looking at the NoFap subreddit for a while but it looks a bit crowded. By the looks of the Lift page, a little over a thousand people are using the Lift app for accountability and it feels more like a community. I’m about two weeks into NOM, and I can personally say that it has made a very significant influence: increased overall energy levels throughout the day, decreased grogginess in the mornings, more energy at the gym, increased ability to tap into self-discipline for other habits I’m currently forming, increased libido readiness, increased ability to look people in the eyes when I’m talking about them, less of the negative kind of self-consciousness when interacting with people I just met, less impulsive lustful thoughts, and definitely the ability to have more energy to complete To Do list items.
I’m guessing during this time period it’s also not a good idea to act on certain types of lucid dreaming due to the mental stimulation and possible physical outcomes?
It’s an interesting concept and have heard it mentioned before it various forms. It certainly can have many “trickle down”,”snowball”, “train”, “chain” “domino”, etc. effects, one of which is saving money.
Gonna be tricky… my gfs’, out of town, the freshmen arrive in about halfway through the challenge (I live on a college town), and I’ve never gone more than 3 days without choking the bishop. Still, ganbarimasu!
Locked in. Here’s my breakdown on StickK:
$40 on Out of Bed On-time
$40 on No Outside Info (Low Info Diet)
$40 on NOBNOM
I think it’s important to remember daily WHY we’re doing this: mine reason is “to eliminate distractions so that I can hear & follow my inner voice”.
Time to get to work peeps.
It’s day two people! It’s not gotten hard yet, but I feel it will be a struggle. I’ve got a list of things to do when times get tough…exercise, find new ways to make money, get something done that you’ve been procrastinating, etc. The big thing is to stay productive and keep your mind or more productive things that will help make you a better person. Keep going!
For those of us that love a good challenge (when it doesn’t involve giving up wanking or drinking) here is a challenge. Find the amthem girl in the image above and see if she is willing to be interviewed by the Tim. Put that building energy to work. The image was taken at the 2008 Mud Fest in Boryeong, South Korean. Here is another image of her https://www.flickr.com/photos/stinkiepinkie_infinity/2660249991/in/set-72157606105783527 BTW if you break down and start drinking first, please don’t punch anyone like me.
I knew I should have not clicked that link. Instigator! Thanks for not helping the greater cause!
I bet someone that works at Facebook could find her.
Just as a side note: LOL @ this post probably being the first one with the fewest avatar pictures, real names and links to people’s sites – who can blame them of course? I am just as guilty.
Also curious how very low the female response is – I figured it would be low but…
OK, so maybe guys do it more and it may be different, but I know there is plenty of female action going on out there too. You have plenty of female readers.
I dare more women to take have a different relationship with their showerhead for a month. Sent Mr. Rabbit Pearl down a different hole for 30 days. Tell their LELO to get lost with Lilo(Lindsay)! And quit watching 50 Shades trailers.
How many Men will be Masters of their own domain? How many Women will be Queens of their castle?
Day 2: How’s everybody doing? I proudly ordered a soda water and lime while out tonight and never felt better. The power of saying no
I don’t have too much of a problem with alcohol, but I try to get non-alcoholic drinks if I am around others that drink. And being a designated driver is another option. I am actually considering giving giving up my internet on Monday. For one, it would save me some money and two, I can get some work done. If I need the internet then I can always go to the library. Being in public prevents you from looking at any undesirable sites and doing undesirable things.
Decided to not go out to avoid the temptation. It seems worse reminding myself that I can’t drink. Hopefully I will save money and lose weight.
I read this!
Ok…I’m in. I used to test myself in the distant past to improve my willpower. Not so much in the last 20 years or so. So lets give it a shot.
Also it should be noted that this is going to be tougher for those who don’t have a partner or opportunities to relieve one of the two pressures.
Day 3: Feeling great so far. How’s everyone else doing? Sunday was indeed a fun day. My guts appreciating this break from the booze. Stay strong,
Peace, love, etc…
I know some people are only doing the NOBNOM for 30 days, but if you want to continue after 30 days then you should consider attending a celebrate recovery small group. It’s like a 12 step program for all kinds of addictions. [Moderator: Link removed]
This is a wonderful time for me to take this on. August is a make or break month for me and instilling self-discipline in an area that I’ve realized is my go-to activity for boredom, stress management, getting to sleep, avoiding responsibilities, etc. would be huge for me.
I’ve got my coach through Lift and am on Day 5 (started in early on July 29) and its been tough but I’m confident it will be a really enlightening and important challenge.
If anyone needs support, let me know!
Is it just me or the whole world is filled with suggestive images of semi-nude pretty girls? Jesus!
mmhh… momoko and anjelica. To read those names alone gives me a hard-on
Waning Pirate Bay visitors.. You know what I’m talking about.. I’m easily still in the game, but it did move a little…
My mental clarity has been a lot better the last 3 days, if this is a sign of things to come, I’ll be Einstein by the 31st.
Good for you! as humans we love our instant gratification so it’s nice seeing a change so fast.
Day 4 already?? Had some tough moments over the weekend, celebrating a friend’s milestone and being in a situation where temptation to drink was overwhelming. I was able to successfully keep up the NOB streak going through some encouraging words from my wife. I usually don’t have a problem going without a drink in social situations, but for some reason being cognizant of the fact that I’m abstaining somehow made the temptation worse.
Done this before with the no alcohol and it was amazing. Thought process was so much clearer. Looking forward to participating again, especially with others involved.
Biggest advice I can give is to focus on the other aspects of your life that you want to build in order to replace the feelings of needing to go for alcohol or other negative ritualistic habits.
I hope everyone made it through the first weekend feeling strong! Interested in hearing about peoples overall experience so far. I had a great time taking a day trip to chocolate falls on Saturday. Thanks for this challenge Tim!
Got a relevant email this morning from Men’s Health…it scared me into getting through at least another few days. Seriously who thinks it’s a good idea to put wire down their penis hole? http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/masturbation-mistakes
Today is the day that I will cancel my internet. Not going to lie, I am not crazy about it one bit. I’m doing it for a few reasons though. One, I could save a few bucks. Two, I can get things done around the apt. and elsewhere. Three, I won’t be rushing to work anymore. And finally, I can avoid any temptations online. Wish me luck guys.
I find my most difficult time to be when I’m trying to sleep or just waking up…laying in bed I almost absently start something haha.
Day 4: In the word’s of Ernest Shakleton, “Difficulties are just things to overcome”. Day four was slightly harder. Wishing the best to all my NOBNOM comrades.
Over and out
100% clean so far! But: there is a place nearby our office, where prostitutes offer themselves. I never have in my live “purchased” there, but now am extremely tempted. Any advice/opinions?
Day 5. There are idle moments when all my glands feel like they are swelling. the thought of alcohol has my jaw and neck areas swelling with some need. And the sight of any beautiful woman has my other gland getting troublesome. The good news is that from Day 1 I was already doing more, accomplishing more, and was more creative in my work. Coincidence? I think not. I’m holding on till the 31st
So far so good. Met up with my brother went to a pub, had a water while he drank a pint! Promised him £50 if I drink before the 1st September.
According to the 12 step program, the first step in getting over any addiction is admitting that you have one. I have been struggling with a few addictions over the years. I’m just starting to realize how much damage it has caused me. It’s amazing how some of us are blinded by our “wants”. I guess it’s better to know now than to live in denial.
I have been fap free for 39 days and counting now. And I can honestly say that the last 39 days have been the most productive I’ve ever had. I wrote 15,000 words in my forthcoming book in a single weekend (I hadn’t written that much in 6 months!). Not to mention many others areas that have improved.
I started this pact June 27 after reading an article claiming that the abundance of porn we’re consuming is rewiring men’s brains and having serious negative effects on our ability to enjoy real life sex with real life women. Just Google “porn rewiring men’s minds” and you have plenty to read up on.
This was enough to scare me into digging a little deeper. Low and behold, there was more than enough research to support this hypothesis. When I stumbled across this TEDxGlasgow talk called “The Great Porn Experiment,” I had to really consider that the implications of porn addiction were far more serious than I ever imagined. As much as I wanted to convince myself it was just harmless self-gratification, I couldn’t unlearn what I had uncovered.
Watch the video here if you’d like to get a glimpse into what unlimited free porn is doing to unsuspecting men everywhere.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU&noredirect=1
And as for alcohol, I’ve had a drinking problem since I was about 12 years old. Got drunk for the first time at 10, started drinking quite often by 12, and by 16 I was a full out raging, fighting, loud, abrasive, depressive drunk. This continued well into my twenties. Now I don’t drink anywhere near like I used to. There are literally a few weeks/weekends out of the year where I enjoy a few or more libations, but recently, after a few festivals this summer, I had an entirely different outlook on booze, and what it does (or not longer does) for me.
I’m going to Burning Man this year in a few weeks. It’ll be my fourth burn in a row. Every year in the past alcohol was my trusty, dusty sidekick. This year I’m setting a new intention to not bring any of my own onto the playa. And I still may choose to have a drink or two while I’m there. But it won’t be like years past. All that being said, I haven’t had a drop since July 20 and I’ve been around it plenty. By the time BM rolls around, it’ll have been over a month.
It’s hard at first, but once you get a streak going, you have momentum on your side. And once you overcome the initial resistance and start experiencing the positive shifts in your mood, focus, productivity and overall wellbeing, you’ll be well on your way to a whole new level of self-enhancement.
OK. That’s my 25cents worth 🙂
All the best guys!
Thanks for sharing this! Very inspiring and happy to see you are on the right path! Have an awesome time at burning man!
If you are struggling with this challenge know that you’re not alone! Write about it, sing about it, do an interpretive dance! channeling creative energy through sexual transmutation is one of man’s greatest tools. Find your passion!
Got a late start, but one day down so far! Good luck to everyone!
Day 5: I’m seeing a lot of action on the lift page. Looks like a lot of people are staying strong. Definitely going to be the birthday I have coming up that will be the hardest.
Keep calm and NOBNOM on
Anyone else extremely moody? Hit my like a ton of bricks today.
Going strong 5 days in! It was tough over weekend as I was at a camping/Martial Arts seminar and everyone was drinking and telling stories (as well as one of the participants works at Sierra Nevada and brought free beer!) I feel more alert and attentive already.!
i have all my life that i not masturbate (never masturbated) tell me how many euros i’ll can win
The night before August 1 I was going to reach 76 days of no masturbation. For the past few weeks prior to then, I was treading a very thin line by watching videos and not touching, then touching but not edging. I realized that my old behavior was returning even though I was committing the actual deed. I decided to reset because I wanted my honor clean. I was so close to 90 days, yet I did not fail. I made it to 76 days and that progress is not lost and something to be proud of. This is an example of how masturbation is not just about the orgasm, but about the behaviors and neurological changes that go along with it. Stand tall, don’t make excuses, and win with honor. See you at the finish line, brothers.
I was thinking about this NOBNOM thing and I had some thoughts: these types of “cure alls” seem to be common on internet fitness boards. I’ve seen over and over these simplistic cure alls and the author usually has some nonsense explanation of how by doing this 1 simple thing, you will get all your shit together and be a super man. Some of these quack tough man cure all challenges: “only take cold showers”, “don’t masturbate for 2 weeks” “do squats” “do deadlifts”. The author always claims that this 1 exercise or whatever is some kind of cure-all, and that once start doing it, your life will just be a nonstop success story, and all areas of your life will improve.
Its the same type of quackery that was popular in medicine 150 years ago. There used to be a huge industry selling all kinds of concoctions, which we now know contained no active ingredients, and they were marketed for conditions which aren’t even medical conditions. [Moderator: link removed]
You can’t really blame these people for believing such quackery, since this was before modern medicine. And now, seeing how insanely complex the human body is, with 100 trillion cells, and thousands of interacting proteins, it makes it all the more laughable that people thought they could cure all manner of different diseases with one substance, since we now know that even the same symptoms can have dozens of different causes. Some of the conditions may be genetic, and therefore no combination of herbs could have possibly cured it.
Now, in the self help industry, or self-actualization industry, or reaching your potential industry, there is the same pattern. As someone who understands a lot about neuroscience, and a little about what it takes for success (from studying many successful people) I am kind of like a modern doctor sent back to 1900. OK, not that advanced, but when I look at these cure-alls where someone claims that if you just make one simple change, everything else will cascade and you will start having success in all areas of your life, it looks just as ridiculous. I don’t have an alcohol problem but I did go 3 weeks without masturbating, and it didn’t make much difference in my life.
Your daily life is a product of your unconscious mind. There are only 3 real ways to change your life:
1. deep introspection (looking back at past behavior, and forward at future plans and trying to realistically make the best decisions based on the past)
2. drugs (all drugs that affect the brain are naturally going to affect the unconscious in some way, from antidepressents, stimulants, nootropics, steroids, and also psychedelics/marijuana which can allow you the deep introspection) When MKULTRA was trying to reprogram people’s brains, they decided on using LSD, so clearly psychedellics are capable of dramatically (often too dramatically) changing your unconscious mind.
3. changing your environment. I’m not talking something simple like redecorating your apartment. Only something big like getting a new job, getting a new mate, making a new close friend, or moving.
The problem with all of these, is that I have noticed that the brain can very easily jump back into old habits of mind, and usually does. It might take a month or two, and it may be a slow fade that you don’t even notice, you may rationalize it away, believing that you are only doing what is rational, but at the end of the day, you have mostly kept your unconscious views.
Many times I find I will slip back into laziness, after I get motivated for something, kick ass on it for a few days, and then at the end of those few days, I find I have accomplished half of what I expected to, and am physically drained, and have been doing stuff nonstop with no free time. I overestimated what I would accomplish, and underestimated how hard it would be. It makes me question again whether it is even worth it. Rationally I know it is, but my unconscious doesn’t think so it slips back into old habits of wasting time.
Handling NOBNOM pretty well. One of the things I do is avoid situations that would put me in jeopardy. For example, I try to avoid looking at any movies that I don’t have any business looking at. That includes main stream movies dealing with sexual content.
NOB- No problem I drink only once every few years. NOM- Very difficult. It’s only been like 3 or 4 days and that’s the longest I’ve gone without for a number of years. It’s not even sexual often but just a habit or tension release. I’m still Master of my Domain but I have urges but I’m still going strong.
Tough morning today, but got through it feeling strong! Congratulations to everyone who has made it this far! You guys (and girls) rock! NOBNOM! Let’s do this!!!
Tough morning today, but got through it feeling strong! Congratulations to everyone who has made it this far! You guys (and girls) rock!
Just so we’re clear, is this a ban on porn or masturbation? Are you allowed to masturbate without porn or watch porn without masturbation or neither? I guess it’s kinda a stupid question but whatever.
Also, are there any (health) benefits to not masturbating for women?
It’s day 6 of NOBNOM and I feel great. Would live to drink just 1 beer but that seems to turn into 4 beers real quickly. I’ve been very productive, riding my bike everyday, reading more and getting more stuff done at work. Keep up the good work y’all and reap the benefits. Thanks for putting this together Tim. Cheers!
Day 6: Almost a week down, so congrats to those still standing. I’ve noticed an exponential increase in energy over this week (and this hasn’t been an easy week as far as work load). Cheers to day 7 and let the momentum build to carry us through a booze free weekend.
Peace, love, etc….
Anyone seen the movie The Last Samurai with Tom Cruise? There’s one scene during the first half where he’s basically taken as a prisoner of war by the samurai, and during the first few nights he’s immobile crying out “SAKE!” because he formed an addiction to drinking his pain/nightmares (from killing innocent Native American Indians) away. Once he’s broken that addiction, the samurai train him and create a master warrior. I’m 9 days into this challenge and every time I have an urge I think of this one particular scene and yell “SAKE!” to give me motivation, and also hoping that in the end I’ll become my own unique warrior. Hope this helped people on the challenge!
I don’t drink, am married so no need to wank. So 30 days? Pfftt! Try 8 years. 🙂
Hi Tim
It’s been 5 years i’ve been trying to stop p**n and masturbation.
I’ve tried SO many things… and failed on the road, but let me share you 5 points that truly help me now i’m *almost* free.
1/It IS and addiction : it means that we are not free to decide NOT to masturbate. it is too late, we are wired this way since we did it so many times.
2/we need to be very gentle with us. Stop beeing perfectionist and rude with us. We MUST begin to love ourselves how we are.
3/Failing is NOT a failure, it is just a path to sucess. So if one will fail a few times it is really OK, just don’t take it hard. Love yourseld again
4/Meditation helped me a lot
5/Hypnose helped me down the road after all this effort.
It IS possible ! i did it !
John
Mad respect Tim. This takes a lot of balls and real authenticity. I’m in! NobNom is such a great idea, very purposeful and is definitely bringing awareness to some much needed topics of today’s times.
Have you joined the challenge on Lift? It’s pretty cool seeing so many people apart of this 🙂
To me, porn addiction and masturbation go hand and hand. If I’m not watching any pornography then I won’t have to worry about the other. That’s how I look at it.
Right. Most of us have such deep rooted ties between porn and masturbation that it is just an outlet for the real problem, which is the fantasy we are feeding our brains.
Day 7: Officially a week folks. I haven’t lost my money yet and I’m feeling great. Sure, six beers and a lay down after work sounds amazing but this isn’t the 6 beers after work and a lay down challenge is it (6BAALD, great name for a future challenge though). Let us go forth and conquer abstinence this weekend. Wishing everyone the best.
Peace, love, etc…
Hey people! This challenge has been really awesome so far with everyone joined on Lift it’s great to see so many helping each other out. I’ve really loved being able to watch others do this while dealing with everything myself. 7 days down and going strong.
Here are some mocktail recipes I put together for those of you looking for a tasty non-alcoholic beverage.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zm5bdk3HFhiGFsGuIeFJSvUoPDombhnze0C10mEW0n8/edit?usp=docslist_api
Seriously, what a powerful idea. Giving people at least a taste of what their life could be. I am grateful you’re using your influence to help others create sustainable self-control and peace. I am inspired and like you even more. 🙂
Gearing up and getting ready for the weekend! Going to try out acupuncture for the first time tomorrow. Have a good weekend everyone! So much respect for all of you making a change in your lives for the better!
As a direct competitor, I work to Find Holes in your works. That Being Said,I’m Surprised no one has mentioned the Bet episode of Seinfeld, and Happy to see A Napolean Hill Reference: The Chapter on Sex Transmutation Literally Changed my life. Tim is like a Mahayana Buddhist in his Posts/Approaches. As A Competitor, Keep It Up [The Good Work – Gotta be clear what to “Keep Up” on this post] Anyways Once you stop you Feel More Alive/Energized/Focused/Driven/Productive. Addiction is Attraction To A Feeling. Masterbating feels Good, but not masterbating FEELS Great(Once you get past the sleepless nights). Let Yourself Feel Great. Yo. Cheers!!!!-jamie:D
400th comment! Urges are getting pretty bad. Anybody else feel horny mixed with depression after a ltitle while?
Doing good. My only addiction at the moment is internet addiction (social media,articles, etc). But I’m hoping to get over that during this period. I hope all my fellow NOBNOM comrades are doing well.
Questions That Have Come Up During the First Week of NOBNOM
Many people have a problem with analysis; be it internal or external. I have the opposite problem, I constantly over-analyze, which in the past, has proved to be debilitating. However, I have been learning to focus my analysis and not scatter my thoughts. Continued discipline of my mind was the reason I signed up for this challenge. Self improvement is the goal.
During the past week I have read, observed, and commented on some of the questions that have shown up on the NOBNOM questions field. Reading the questions of others, forced me to introspect, giving rise to my own questions. Hopefully, these questions of mine will help others introspect on this challenge and go deeper into why they have embarked on this challenge.
Why did you really sign up for this challenge? Many of the questions that have been posted seem shallow and superficial; including my own. I constantly read “I am going crazy not watching porn” or “help me with morning erections” and “do you think girls will notice me more?” last “I really want to party with my friends, what should I do?” I am not sure about you, but those are not the reasons I signed up.
Lets break these questions down. First, why are you abstaining from beer and masturbation? I mean, really dig and ask the question. Do you feeling guilty watching porn? If so, why? Was it your upbringing? Do You have a girlfriend or are married?
I propose that these surface problems and questions are enough to initiate action, but without deep introspection, I fear most will fail. The root of my reason for taking thing challenge is that I want mastery over my emotions, my urges, my desires. For me, giving up masturbation is to not let my genetic impulses, my instincts, to drive my actions in the physical world. If I am aroused, that is a natural desire, and it is important to acknowledge that feeling. However, if arousal leads to the physical act of getting on a computer, going to a pornagraphic site, and masturbating; than a simple feeling led to physical action without my consent, and worse, against my wishes.
Does this mean I should abstain forever from being aroused? Of course not, for then that emotion would still rule my existence, just in the negative. Why do we become aroused? Because it is our nature, it is why we exist. Instead of focusing on that arousal then reaching out and finding a partner, a real person that you connect and a share the experience with. Arousal can bring us satisfaction if focused in the correct, and natural, direction. Masturbation and pornography are shortcuts, a means to an end, that we lose control of and it is an unsatisfying experience.
This leads to another question? Are you not drinking for physical reasons? To lose weight, to save money? Perhaps this is the reason many took on this challenge, but once again, and for myself, abstaining for this month is for me to take control, for me to decide, rather than when I am stressed or bored. Once again, if you look deeper into the problem, it is a battle for control.
Go to a club, or dive-bar, and watch how people drink. Then go to a micro-brewery or micro-winery and watch how the people drink. The people at the club and bar absent-mindedly drink, rarely looking into the cup or bottle, barely noticing how the drink tastes. The people at the brewery or winery focus on the drink, take deep and slow sips, sniff the aromas, and discuss; often to complete strangers. Rarely will meaningful and deep conversations appear at the club, for the point is to get drunk and party at a (hopefully) low cost. It is my opinion (and I do mean an opinion) that the joy we get from drinking has to do with socializing with other people, to feel included in a group performing the same activity. A good conversation over a great glass of wine or beer is the real focal point of why we go out, and it is perfectly natural. Even if you are drinking a artisan drink at home, alone, you are focusing on the taste, the texture, color, and other pleasurable features of the drink. By focusing on the drink your mind with inevitably drift to were the grapes were grown, the people, the cultures were this drink originated, yet, I would argue that drinking alone in this fashion, is still a deeply social activity; an activity that you feel included in as the drinker.
As with pornography, drinking can be hijacked, often by corporations, as a means to an end. You drink something that has alcohol in it, so it should give you the same satisfaction? Right? Well the people involved in this challenge, in one way or another, are stating (through action) that this is wrong. Drinking is a social activity and one that is natural and pleasurable if done with people (or the thought of people) and empty when done alone with low quality drinks. Clubs are full of people that are spending the evening alone, isolated from everyone around them save the liquid that everyone is guzzling down. Once again, drinking is about mastery over our actions, and not letting our arousal, or desire for social acceptance, to dictate our lives.
Lots more questions are building in my mind but I will save those for next few weeks. I will make a single suggestion, and that is for people to read “Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience” by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. It is a book that has influenced me the most over the past few months and I have re-read it several times and it will help with more than just this challenge. All questions and responses are welcome, needed.
Thank You.
Jordan Hedberg
Girls wank too. I totally agree with this.
You know what? I don’t want to stop masturbating. I fucking love it! When I can’t be with the girl I most want to be with, I am still able to have an orgasm and feel relief. Idk. Girls…is there really wrong with jacking off to porn a cpl times a month?
Day 9: Over a week done. I’ve been more than a little irritable at times but staying strong. All the more reason to sit and do some deep breathing. Anyone else find that meditation helps?
Keep on keepin on.
Meditation definitely helps. In the book, 12 steps of recovery for masturbation/porn users, replacing masturbation with another positive activity is the way to go e.g. go running, dance, watch a funny clip, go play with your kids