How to Store Sperm in 4 Steps – Just in Case

Save the swimmies! (Photo: futurowoman)

I never thought I’d visit a sperm bank.

Perhaps it was flipping a motorcycle at 90 mph on Infineon Raceway.

Perhaps it was tearing my Achilles tendon in jiu-jitsu practice, then getting thrown on my head.

Maybe having my scuba mask fill with blood at 120 feet underwater in Belize?

That could have done it.

Or perhaps is was just crossing the 30-year age threshold and having friends who didn’t make it. 9/11, suicide, accidents — bad things happen to good people.

I came to realize in 2007: it’s really not that hard to die. And that’s when I started thinking about storing my genetic material.

Yes, my little swimmies.

In this post I’ll talk about the process, how I did it, and why it’s cheap insurance in an unpredictable world. I’ll also throw in some curious details (sexy time!) just for entertainment…

The Reasons to Store Sperm

Doing the research, the pros far outweighed the cons:

1) Men are becoming progressively infertile. Go munch on some soy for a mouthful of phytoestrogens, or just stick with preservatives. It’s hard to avoid testicle-unfriendly food and toxins. Talk to endocrinologists who do clinical meta-analysis and get your sperm count measured. It is probably less than your dad’s. Real-world Children of Men (for men) in full effect.

2) There are many medical conditions and procedures — cancer treatment, for example — that can render men infertile.

3) People who “know” they don’t want kids change their minds. A lot. Just look at the number of vasectomy reversal procedures. And no, these procedures do not work well. Failure rates are high.

4) Above all: Why not do it? If you can afford it, it just seems like a no-brainer for bloodline and peace of mind. The potential downside of doing it (cost) is recoverable; the potential downside of not doing it is irreversible.

I’m not a king looking to spread my seed across an empire, but part of me does want to leave a legacy in the form of a child. Call me old-fashioned. I want momma Ferriss to be grandmamma Ferriss at some point, even if I get hit by a cement truck or nailed by blue ice from an airplane.

Think it’s easy to get someone pregnant? Sometimes. Most of the time, after looking at the numbers, it seems surprisingly hit-or-miss.

Does this mean I wouldn’t adopt? Not at all. Several aunts and uncles have adopted, and it’s a beautiful thing. I just also want to have children who share my DNA. I see no reason not to ensure both can happen.

Is this ego-driven? On some level, of course. But so is owning a home or having a decent car, wearing clothing besides what will keep you warm and eating food besides what will keep you alive. Humans are ego-driven with anything past the base necessities for survival.

Sperm Storage – The Steps in Brief

1) Find a sperm storage facility. Google “sperm storage”, “sperm bank”, or “sperm donor” along with your state or city.

2) Make an initial appointment and get tested for infectious diseases.

Most reputable locations will require testing for common STDs prior to storage. I was tested for:

HIV 1 & 2

HTLV-I & II

RPR (for Syphilis, Al Capone’s farewell song)

HCV (for Hepatitis C)

HBsAG and HBcAB (for Hepatitis B)

It’s a romantic first date. And, yes, I cleared like a Mormon taking a drug test.

Cost of initial consult: $100-150

Cost of STD lab panel: $150-200

3) Warm up your wrists and get busy. Six sessions per kid.

Think it’s “one shot, one kill”, macho man? Think again. You’re no Peter North, and even if you were, 50%+ of your sperm count is annihilated from the freezing process.

You should make six sperm deposits for each child you’d like to have. It can take inseminations over eight months for a woman to get pregnant, although in vitro fertilization (IVF) ups the chances somewhat at much higher cost, generally $9,000-12,000 per attempt.

Oh, and forget about abstaining for long periods of time, oddly enough.

For best results in storage/fertilization/impregnation, abstain from ejaculation for at least 48 hours but no more than four days before each session. More than four days and dead sperm cells begin to accumulate and cause trouble, as you need a certain ratio of live sperm to dead sperm per 1 cc (cubic centimeter) of volume. I scheduled one deposit every fourth morning a la: Monday 10am, Friday 10am, Tuesday 10am.

Cost per sample frozen: $150-200 (x 6 = $900 – $1,200 per potential kid)

4) Store all the suspended swimmies somewhere safe.

This will usually be handled by the facility that did the initial freezing. This is also where the credit card comes out.

Cost per year: $300 – 600 (often for all samples)

The E-mail You Need to Read (and Perhaps Replicate)

After my first storage session, I sent the following e-mail to my brother and a number of my closest friends. All names have been changed, but it covers some very possible challenges and necessary sleight-of-hand:

Subject: Critical and Serious E-mail from Tim Ferriss – Please Save

Hello Bill, Bob, Dave, Lisa, and Sarah,

So, after reading “The Last Lecture” and realizing that I have a fairly high-risk lifestyle with motorcycle accidents, jiu-jitsu and all else, I’ve decided to store sperm for potential future use, should something terrible happen to me.

Here’s the situation:

-Beginning today and over several months, I will make approx. 6 deposits at www.[donationfacility].com.  I am not donating, just storing for worst-case scenarios.

-For a bunch of legal reasons, I had to designate a “partner,” who is the only person with access to the stored samples if something bad happens [Single males are generally unable to store for later use or “just in case”].  I chose Lisa, since she is A) female, and B) easier to reach than Sarah [who’s overseas] via phone.

I’m emailing the five of you because, if something happens to me, I kindly ask all of you to consider female candidates for receiving the samples.  I’d be thrilled if this were Lisa or Sarah, but I certainly wouldn’t expect this.  I’d just want you all to decide together if someone is someone I would approve of or not as the shepherd and missus for my sole progeny.  Bill [my brother] has veto and executive power in the case consensus isn’t reached.  6 deposits gets you 2 impregnation attempts monthly for three months, which is good for one woman only, so please choose wisely if it comes to it.  I would ideally want the resulting child to know my family and spend regular time with them, assuming my family feels the same way.

Again for a host of nonsense FDA and legal reasons, Lisa as “partner” is the only one who can get the samples.  [Storage facility] could help her do procedures on herself with the samples, but if it were for someone else, she’d need to get the samples and you’d all need to figure the rest out.  Sperm only survives for a few hours without freezing, so it would be quite the adventure.

I don’t expect anything to happen to me, of course, but I view this as the ultimate life-insurance policy.  Momma Ferriss wants grandkids, so it’s a relatively cheap way to ensure that happens, no matter what 🙂

Please ask any questions you might have, and please save this e-mail somewhere safe.  Good idea to print it as well.

Mahalo and see you all soon!

Tim

I would be hoping for quite the opposite, whether I play that role or a surrogate mother’s husband does. This entire process is damage control for a worst-case scenario: something catastrophic happening to me.

Sexy Time Details

So, cover the baby’s ears. I’m going to tell you something stunning and disgusting. Something you probably don’t want to hear. Ready? Most guys like pornography. And Santa Clause doesn’t exist. I’m sorry.

Here’s how the storage facility website sells the “donation” process:

“He [the donor/storer] is then shown to a private room where he can collect his specimen in a provided sterile cup.”

About as sexy as lethal injection, right?

Well, upon arrival, there were surprises in store. I was led to a cornucopia of porn DVDs around a secret corner. Right in front of a bunch of female lab technicians looking awkward. There was something for everyone in this motley selection. Norwegian juggler fetish? It would’ve been there. No expense was spared in covering all bases.

I grabbed a few titles (I’ll spare you the names) and headed to a small white room with a sliding door. I followed the lead of a quiet male Asian assistant in a white lab coat. He looked at his feet and departed with “please wash your hands when you finish.” I didn’t expect a call the next day.

The den of clinical sin was about the size of a hotel bathroom, with a paper-sheet-covered cot on the floor (yeah, baby!), a metal chair, a 13″ TV/DVD combo on a small stool, and a stack of magazines suspiciously adhered to one another.

So, I sat down, still quite content and ready to do my duty. A minute of “I can’t believe people want me to do this” and on goes the DVD. Then… my brain got sodomized.

See, I live in San Francisco, and — well — there are a lot of “alternative” sexual orientations. It also happens, sad times for Tim Ferriss, that Mr. Clean-Your-Hands was not good at matching DVDs to their cases.

I had already come to the realization that this room, with paper sheets in all their glory, had been used by hundreds of other donors. That alone required me to enter a state of focus reserved for Olympians and Iron Chef competitors. Then, I turn on the DVD and see two hairy boys doing something resembling wrestling. But not wrestling.

Second DVD, same story. Third time was the charm, but I was already supressing so many images and realities that it was like bending a spoon with my mind to get done what every guy has mastered by age 12.

Ah, Mr. Wash-Your-Hands. We will meet again, and I shall give you a judo chop.

Mentally prepare, gentlemen. It won’t be as easy as you think. These are tough, dangerous times. Good times to save your swimmies as cheap insurance.

And don’t forget to wash your hands.

Other posts on physical optimation and body games:

How to Lose 20 lbs. of Fat in 30 Days… Without Doing Any Exercise

From Geek to Freak: How I Gained 34 lbs. of Muscle in 4 Weeks

The Science of Fat-Loss: Why a Calorie Isn’t Always a Calorie

Real Life Extension: Caloric Restriction or Intermittent Fasting?

###

Odds and Ends:

Timothy Ferriss vs. Gary Vaynerchuk – Two Approaches to Successful Blogging

The Tim Ferriss Show is one of the most popular podcasts in the world with more than 600 million downloads. It has been selected for "Best of Apple Podcasts" three times, it is often the #1 interview podcast across all of Apple Podcasts, and it's been ranked #1 out of 400,000+ podcasts on many occasions. To listen to any of the past episodes for free, check out this page.

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178 Replies to “How to Store Sperm in 4 Steps – Just in Case”

  1. Thanks Tim, it was actually insightful. When I’ll have kids in a few years, I am planning on getting a vasectomy afterwards. My wife cannot take the pill or any form of hormonal control, so I’m stuck with the condoms most of the time. However, if anything was to happen to my children (god forbid), I would want to be able to procreate again. Different reasons, same needs 🙂

    I didn’t do my homework about it so thanks for doing it for me !

  2. I think I just killed all my sperm from laughing too hard.

    Thanks a lot, Mr. Olympian.

    P.S. What was the metal chair for?

  3. Llevo mas de 24 horas despierta todo porque se me ocurrio leer tu libro en cama antes de dormir!!! Hmm after reading this post, how about you just marry me and I’ll have your children? LOL .. here’s a little recap on how your book and you have inspired me:

    mid June, 2008 – after having spent 2 hours kneeling at the book section at Target, I was finally convinced that I should give the $20 and purchase the book and just take it home. After all, I do dread working 9-5 especially since I can’t sit sitll anywhere for over 2 hours and have actually prepared elaborated persuasive arguments on the inhumanity and soul sucking rituals we refer to as “the norm”

    mid July, 2008 – Got a one month ticket to Lebanon. I haven’t taken over two days off in 3 years… mind you I just turned 21 a couple of weeks ago. I’ve been torturing my soul as a legal secreatry for 3 years =(

    After the month went by – guess what? my job was still waiting there for me. I thought I’d be replaced but nothing… dont know if that’s good or bad.

    August – decide to continue my bachelor’s program online since school is important to me and I wouldn’t want it to get in the way of my traveling.

    Sept-Oct- still work here but instead of, welll doing what I’m doing now all day… I prioritize and get things done by 12 and then just sit around and study. Pretty cool arrangement. Oh and even though I haven’t been able to travel to exotic places, at least I get out of the Miami area every couple of weeks and check out different sites. I’m getting more involved in my dreams and have launched my modeling career, improved my cycling and kick boxing skills, belly dancing, hip hop, and yoga rules!

    Nov 24, 2008 – Thought of a great idea to set up a business in autopilot… more details on that later.

    Events coming up!

    Dec,2008 – Weekend gettaway to learn how to snowboard in Colorado.

    Jan, 2009- Week in NY to meet with modeling agencies and possible contract issuance and relocation to the big apple!

    Feb, 2009- Texas here I come…

    Oh and surfing lessons are in the prospects, just waiting for spring time! =)

    I take days here and there and use mypc.com to catch up everyonce in a while. Still hate the office… but eventually I’ll eliminate it as well.

    Thanks for such an amazing burst of energy and encouragement.

    P.S. – Seriously, marry me? 😉

  4. Nice article, and enlightening to say the least – not everyone writes about the gritty details of sperm donation with a first-person perspective. Good one!

  5. Haha funny. Don’t think you’ll have as much trouble finding a surrogate mama, your one sexy mo’fo’ and your wit is even better

    Luv the blogs -Amanduh

  6. Great post Tim,

    let me relate my experience at a donor facility – Duke University Medical Center.

    Back in the 90’s my wife and I went through several IVF sessions there. Their donation room at the time was on the top floor of the old clinic buildings, in a hallway that reminded me of the opening to bad horror movies.

    I was lead to a non-descript door – and heres the good part – right next to the office for the volunteer chaplains.

    The room had basically the same setup as you described – with a surprisingly good selection of videos (this was before the time of DVDs 🙂

    While the IVF sessions failed, we did eventually adopt 2 great boys (now 5 and 8) with the help of the clinic.

    And all I’ll say to folks without children is this – once you have a child, the purpose of the universe will reveal itself to you – usually right after they pee on you, marking there territory as my mom would say.

    thanks as always for a great post,

    best,

    –Jack

  7. Tim, this is the most hilarious post! Love it, thanks for the laugh. Just a thought: this could be a fantastic way to raise money for charity. Say for whatever reason your frozen “swimmies” are never utilized. Put a nice price tag on them and donate the proceeds to your fave charity. If anything, it would make for an interesting auction at Christy’s. “Tim’s sperm going, once, twice…..”

    Anyways, despite the obvious hilarity of the subject matter, as a woman, this post along with the male blog comments is very refreshing to read because women are used to having the finger pointed at us when referencing the ticking “biological clock.” I think plenty of men out there can relate to your reasoning for doing this, but very few want to broach the subject due to the obvious. People are having children much later in life due to a variety of reasons and unfortunately age is not on our side in terms of procreation, whether male or female.

    Thanks for the great post, Tim! Keep ’em coming (no pun intended, I swear!).

  8. Tim,

    As an IVF mom of two whose husband went through the same things you describe here, I’ve got to say that conceiving children the other way is so much more fun. I am a huge admirer of yours, man, but I gotta say here: go find yourself a spouse and have a baby! That way you can enjoy your children and not just be part of their genetic material.

    Sperm donation and IVF or IUI are very time and money intensive. It seems almost counter to the whole 4DWW philosophy. What is more life-affirming? Looking at porn and coming into a cup? Or making love with a beautiful woman?

    Just my 2 cents 🙂 You are still my hero whatever you do here 🙂

  9. Tim,

    I noticed that on Twitter you declared that you were traveling to NYC with a “lass” and needed an apartment for a few days. You said nothing about whether you needed one or two bedrooms. In today’s world you might need to be a little specific about that. And, if perchance there are “lasses” willing to travel with you on an, ahem, one bedroom basis, why do you need a sperm bank? 😉

  10. I’m not sure I get it…your female friend would be willing to have your kid in the event you died? That’s pretty creepy.

  11. I am sitting with my friends/business partners, listening to Baroque, and reading this. The silence is interrupted with my giggles.

    “What are you laughing at?”

    “Oh…. nothing….”

    You are such a man. Practical, smart, and with a dick.

    hee hee

  12. I love your book, I love your blog… but this post sucks ass. Tim… you’re weird! Do you want my suggestion for how to utilize your sperm at the optimal 80/20 principle? Have sex with a woman and get her pregnant.

  13. Hm… and I just started eating tofu recently. Oh well it’s not like I’m concerned about my fertility.

    You could certainly outsource your children this way you already have a few takers right here in the comments…

  14. What was the point of this post? Are you having a midlife crisis at 30?

    Dude, that was definitely TMI. Write it, but don’t spread it or at least write a disclaimer: “I’m about to upset some of ya with my insensitive, neocentric whim but heck, it’s my blog and I’ll post if I want to.”

  15. Tim,

    I can cay is WTF prompted you to write about this?

    Outsourcing your sperm! I like it…. lol

    One day there will be a nation of Mini Tims.

  16. Looked up the book and found the blog. We already follow a similar diet and I wanted to make one suggestion: Cut the diet soda from your suggestions. Even without the calories, the acid it puts into the system is a stressor. Look into high alkaline diet info. Best of luck with the show.

  17. I luv ya, TIm, but I gotta agree with some of the other posters here… there are far too many kids in this world that need to be adopted. thinking that there’s a need to save your own genetic material could seem a bit… egotistical.

    By the way, I LOVE your book….

  18. OMG!!! What is it with the male obsession of impregnation? From this girl’s perspective, it’s strangely…hot, but it is hilarious.

    L,

  19. I have to say Tim, you’re pretty eccentric and just a tad bit egomaniacal.

    Why not just donate your sperm on E-bay and have an unlimited number of lil timmys running around making the world just that much better. I could just immagine the tagline From best selling author Timothy Ferris the person who brought you the “Four hour work week” cums a new and innovative product; “Timmeys Swimmeys”. Just add Womb and in 9mos you too can have a little blond hair, blue eyed little four weeker four weeker to call your own”

  20. Hi, I read the article and tried emailing to my husband , I think its a good idea, hes 34, into extreme sports and seems to -literally, most things he grabs in his hands ends up close to or untop of between his legs- remote controls, blackberrys and laptops, etc.. I know I read somewhere this also isnt good, you keep warming things down there and well…

    Im 32 still havent had a baby and he has a couple. I strongly recommend this for us, weve actually joked around about it and he said it would be a good idea. I want to email this to him but I cant . It has been the 2nd time I try emailing some article and it does not go through, I keep getting the same message to enter the characters I read but apparently Im entering it wrong?? I even used the handicapped version, still no luck.

    Is this feature working or do i need to do anyhting else to get the email sent??

    Thanks, Lory

    Thanks, Lory

  21. I’ve thought of doing this myself… thanks for the sendup.

    It’s more expensive than I thought, but I guess it makes sense.

  22. You had already talked with Lisa and Sarah and Bill about this privately before sending your group email, right? Maybe you just didn’t mention that in the original post so that the post would be shorter or more shocking or more thought-provoking?

    1. @really hoping,

      Yes, I absolutely spoke with the potential ‘partner’ before sending that email. The other two I then followed-up with via phone. As you can imagine, most ppl in my life are used to a bit of oddness from me 🙂

      Tim

      1. Thinking about doing the same thing and came across this old post. However, I really do not want to designate anyone. The FDA seems to have a double standard…does a woman have to designate a partner in order to store her embryos?

  23. Tim,

    Greetings from Palermo Soho…

    You know, when I had my eggs medically extracted, I collected a cool $18K for it. That’s 6+ months of Maserati rental.

    As a twentysomething woman who wanted to see that her genetic material succeeded in the world, I not only delegated the carrying and fathering of those kids to others, I MONETIZED my ova.

    Also, quite frankly, I have always wanted to knock up as many other people as possible. It’s evolutionary! It’s natural! I just want to impregnate anyone I can, and sit back and smoke a cigar. Up to 2005, I had just been physically incapable of acting on that impulse. Now I’ve done it! Gay men and surrogate mothers did all the hard work, my genes are out there, and now I can safely (from a Darwinian perspective) rollerskate on the Autobahn.

    Interestingly, in order to donate eggs, you must be cleared by a psychologist. My psychologist was employed by the egg donation agency. Dr. Uptight asked me why I wanted to donate eggs. I said, “I have really great genetic material, and I think that if people are going to have kids anyway, those kids really should be related to me.”

    She looked at me very pointedly, and said, “So what you’re SAYING is that you want to HELP PEOPLE have a baby.”

    “Why, yes,” I said, and she turned to her paperwork and checked off a box.

    /end of anecdote

    Now, if you can similarly monetize your sperm, I’ll be impressed. Quick, check to see if you can buy SpermQuicken.com!

    Jennifer

  24. Diversify the risk. Store your “deposits” in two separate facilities to guard against any storage failures.

  25. Wow, I think I’ve “shared” myself in the very same place you have. Yes, the DVDs are varied and plentiful. But the short, lean Asian man that was very insistent upon washing both before and after is what tipped me off.

    Like Jennifer D, I too want to share my DNA. I was approached on the streets in Austin for my particular look and then decided to continue my “generosity” here. Why not? I have a good family medical history and turned out alright myself, but have historically had zero interest in being a parent. I always loved the idea of being the cool uncle or godfather, but I hadn’t had the urge to be a dad. Still, I think if others want a child so badly and need a little XY help, why not?

    This post makes me think that perhaps I could or should request some donations be kept for my own use down the road as part of the deal. My only full sibling, I recently found out, is dying and will be gone in less than two years. In the same conversation I found that out, I also found out that I may be an uncle. The abstract idea of taking custody of this child, supposing the mother is not fit, is starting to grow on me. I would go after custody without question if need be, but I think maybe I am coming around a little.

    As for donating, I opted to make myself available for at least one future meeting with any of my biological children that come from donating. The idea isn’t scary at all to me, as I feel that knowing where you come from is very important, especially in cases where a biological parent has nothing to do with raising the child. Adopted kids want to seek out who they came from all the time. I feel that it’s also like leaving lots of time capsules that will perhaps find me in a couple decades. Maybe the social scientist in me is fascinated with that concept with making a connection with future generations of myself though I don’t have plans of raising my own family.

  26. …But if they weren’t wrestling, what were they doing? Perhaps they were just close friends who hadn’t met for a while and whose clothes had blown off in a freak storm?

  27. Call me silly, but it made me smile that a guy is concerned about having children. Usually you only hear that from women.

    And Tim-

    I think we all hope nothing catastrophic happens to you and you never need to use this “baby-insurance.” 🙂

    -Melissa

  28. @tim,

    Thanks for giving to this world.

    In return, if you have not found your partner in whatever time you’ve set yourself, I have an offer for you.

    The offer is only valid for the next couple of years before I change my mind.

    Let me know.

    – jouer

  29. I once had to design the signage for a fertility clinic. I agonised for hours over what sign to put on the door of the room that was labelled “sperm produciton room” on the architect’s plans.

  30. Tim,

    excellent post! It was funny to read about this adventure of yours, and apart of that, I think you shared some great infos here too.

    I surely hope that it won’t be necessary to make use of these ever, and that you still have many years left to enjoy the trip of life.

    Best,

    Michael

  31. fyi:

    “HCV” stands for Hepatitis C Virus (not Hepatitis A)

    They probably ARE testing for Hepatitis C virus, as it is transmissable through semen, whereas Hepatitis A is not.

  32. Tim,

    That was hilarious!!! Thank you for such an interesting and thought provoking read!!! I loved your book, but just found your website and blog today thanks to my daughter who on my recommendation also read and loves your book… So this was my introduction to the Tim Ferriss Blog … LOL …. What a start!!!!

    I read all the comments as well and found them to be interesting, funny, and sometimes judgmental, but hey…. to each their own, right? I kept trying to pull myself away, since I have not mastered the keep the house in order in 4 hours a week yet…. but I couldn’t stop myself!!! I definitely look forward to reading your future and past blogs! And I have the book off the shelf to reread for inspiration!

    Thank you for such an entertaining beginning of blog reading, as yours is the first I have ever read! I’m still grinning!!! Oh, the mental images that are spinning in my head now…LOL!!!

    Roxie

  33. Thanks for expressing your ideas. I would also like to state that video games have been at any time evolving. Today’s technology and inventions have assisted create practical and interactive games. These entertainment games were not that sensible when the concept was first being tried out. Just like other areas of technologies, video games also have had to evolve as a result of many years. This itself is testimony for the fast progression of video games.

  34. “…abstaining for long periods of time…” 48 hours?! I was thinking weeks!

    We, my friend, have different definitions of “long periods of time”.

  35. Lots of stuff in the book about maximizing pleasure for both genders, as well as male fertility. What about fertility for the women? Do the same foods increase crucial hormones for us? No more IVF, etc. for me. Too many bad times and of course there is the money… But, I believe very strongly that foods and supplements can be powerful drugs. What do you know?

  36. My husband and I are relatively positive we don’t want children, but looking into the frozen spermies aspect just in case. I’m glad Google directed me to this blog post 🙂 thanks for the giggle!

    -Shelby

  37. I must have missed something here. You’re alive, and you want some friend of yours to impregnate herself with your sperm if you die? I definitely missed something here …

    The only scenario by which this article would make *any* sense to me, is if you had a wife or girlfriend that was unable to conceive for 10 years (due to some strange circumstance), and you were concerned you may die in 5. Then this article would make some sense. But freezing sperm for someone else’s use after you’re dead? Color me confused. Unless you’re like 18 years old right now and have a high risk lifestyle. Even then you’re pretty much SOL if you don’t have a girlfriend. Doubt anyone worships you so much that they’ll carry your baby after your death eh?

    Love and kisses…

    Random Googler.

  38. I am interested by the concept, and am intrigued in the idea to safeguard against the growing number of things that we’re told can make us infertile.

    However, I see a flaw in your plan to father a child even if you die prematurely. I cannot imagine any woman that would want to be a part of your plan. No woman wants to have a child on her own to a dead man she’s never met.

    You obviously want your child to be taken care of in your absence, hence why you requested that your family play a part in the child’s upbringing. But the arrangements that you are suggesting are more akin to those you might make if you had already had a child and then passed away. In this case, a widow would hopefully receive the continued support of your family, and they would stay in touch with the child. The candidate that you are asking your family to select would have to voluntarily become a widow and a single mother; nobody wants that situation. For this reason, I am sorry to say that your dying request to your family will be unfulfillable.

    The legacy of leaving behind a child is not just in your DNA; it’s your legacy because you raised your child. Every child should have a father. How would the child feel if his father had died years before he was born? Children need a father figure; you’re an important part of that child’s upbringing.

    Leaving behind a legacy is not just about planting your seed, it’s about tending your plant and watching it grow.

  39. I should add that if I were to freeze my sperm as insurance against infertility, I might put in my will that the sperm should be donated to a woman whose partner is infertile. If this were to happen, my family would not be able to play a part in the child’s life. They’ll never know who you were, but you’ll still have kept your genes alive.

  40. Wtf? This guy sounds like a total narcissist. He actually thinks some girl would want his sperm so badly that she would impregnate herself with it on his absence…especially with those retarded directives? Sorry, if no one is willing to procreate with you in real life I’m pretty sure they won’t wasn’t your sperm after death either.

  41. My boyfriend wants to freeze his sperm for me just in case anything happens in the next few years. This was a great/informative and yet quite entertaining description of the process. Thank you for being so open and letting us know what to expect regarding prices and the amount of times he would have to go. I really was under the impression it was a one-time deal. Thank you.

  42. This is a great article. A little weird. Though it is great to read someone that thinks about progeny as I do. I think every man wants to be a father. Even if they do not admit it. It is instinct.

    I was thinking about storing my sperm. I want to preserve my DNA. I would like to just donate and make a million me’s everywhere. However, with a wife, it would feel odd. Especially because I have some strong European features that are passed on genetically. I mean, we would see my bastards around town and know it was them. It would be weird. Then there is child support. Which you still have to pay if you donate.

    Currently the wife and I have our 4th kid on the way and have been married 4 years. So fertility is not a problem. Nor romance. I am thankful for my Austronesian Goddess. Though with the cost of keeping sperm, it would be better for single men to just sign a legal document and get girls who want to be moms pregnant. Or become a polygamist.

  43. That is another thing. You could go to SE Asia and have the girls pay YOU to get them pregnant. You could have thousands of kids there the natural way. They all beg for European sperm. Even the whores will give you a discount if you do not use a condom. In the West, you have to pay more for that service.

    Not my thing, I just know about it. I do not know who would PAY for sex in SE Asia, when it is free everywhere and it seems like they only have daughters there. I think like China kills their daughters, the Philippines and Thailand kill their sons.

  44. Thanks for an entertaining and funny article, Tim! I have been kicking myself for not thinking of doing this ever since finding out my own count is super low. Lab says I have 750,000 little guys in the specimen they checked, but when I looked using the fancy microscope I bought to see for myself, I couldn’t find ANY. Just traveled half way around the world to marry a lady from Asia half my age ’cause not having kids is my biggest regret… then get the news I’m nearly sterile. Thankfully the fertility doc says he can get us successful results in spite of this with in-vitro, but I sure wish I had kept better specimens from when I was younger. Younger men take note, time passes very quickly and even if you think you’ll never want a kid, chances are you will years from now.

  45. Tim, thanks for this post. I recently was diagnosed with Low T, and for someone my age (29) and health (great) it’s a bit weird. I’ve been listening to your talk with Charles Poloquin also regarding low t treatment via a more natural way.

    Anyway, I took your procedural advice on all of this and got my swimmies frozen for safe-keeping and even modified the e-mail template you posted for my own sending purposes. Thank you for eloquently writing this in your book and posting online here for others to benefit from.

  46. Hate to break it to you, but your friends aren’t going to go find a woman to have your babies if you’re dead. Even if they did (they won’t) no woman is going to artificially inseminate, and then involve your family in raising the bugger. The only way any of this is going to happen is if you meet a woman that wants to have a baby with you. That’s it.

  47. A million bucks says those workers switch the discs on purpose! What else are you going to do with a job that’s one step up from titty bar back room janitor! 😀

  48. Tim,

    You might not believe me, but honestly, this is the most inspired post that addresses geocyclo cultural demands. The email template is flawless. While a school of thought will differ as already shown, a whole lot others are grateful. I am drawing up a storage program for assisted insemination. I have concerns for living fathers that have nothing to offer to kids. And if then gene tait is true, some good dead Dads might be doing a great job living behind their genes for a better tomorrow.

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